a short, funny story

One of my friends told me the story of a guy they know who fixed lasagna for his family the other night, and then his wife said, “But I’m tired of mexican food…”  🙂

True story.

the missing April Fool’s post

On a site that specializes in randomness, you’d expect something on April Fool’s Day, but somehow it didn’t happen here.  I could make excuses for that, or I could just say, “I had stuff to do.”  (I’m choosing the latter.)  And so there was no post yesterday.  But there’s no need to be discouraged, because we provide randomness every day (almost), so you don’t have to wait until April 1 next year.  Our R&D department is hard at work developing new products which may or may not exist, and you’ll be hearing about more of them in the future.  (One of our more famous ones was a new shampoo made from real cocoa.)

A good source of April Fool’s Day hoaxes is Google.  They’ve had some really innovative products that happened to get released on April 1.  I found a listing of them all, if you want to peruse them : Google’s April Fool’s Day hoaxes.  Here’s a listing of them, to refresh your memory (or stir your curiosity) : Google MentalPlex, Pigeon Rank, Google Lunar/Copernicus Center, Google Gulp, Google Romance, Gmail Paper, Google TiSP.

I like the new ones (the last two listed).  Google TiSP offers free wireless Internet access through existing lines in your house : the sewer lines.  It interfaces with your toilet to provide access to the Internet.  And your packages can arrive through the sewer lines, so you don’t have to depend on UPS or FedEx.  I signed up…

And the Gmail Paper option is neat, too.  You can have your e-mails printed and mailed to you.  This is helpful for those people who miss sorting and filing their papers in cabinets and drawers.  And some people like having piles of papers in the floor of their bedroom, too, so this is really handy for them.  I’ve thought of adding a similar option to this blog, creating a “Print Blog” link, for everyone’s convenience, so you can read it while you’re on the toilet or on a long flight, or you can give a copy to someone who doesn’t have Internet access yet.

funny quotes that should make you laugh

People have varied tastes in the humor they appreciate, so it’s near impossible to guarantee what will make everyone laugh.  For example, there are actually some people who don’t find The 3 Stooges funny.  Go figure!  Anyway, here’s some funny, random quotes that, under normal circumstances, should make you laugh.  Even if you don’t laugh outloud or chuckle softly, perhaps you’ll at least be amused somewhat.  If none of those apply to you after finishing this post, perhaps you should consult a humorologist.  Don’t take your laughing too lightly.  It’s important that you laugh on a regular basis.  Now, on to the quotes!

People like lists. VH1 could count down the top 50 worst songs of all time, and people would watch to the bitter end. ~ Tom Merritt

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. ~ Lester “Roadhog” Moran

Saying something over and over again doesn’t make it true — unless, of course, you’re saying, “I’m obnoxious and repetitive.” ~ kremben

I treat people as if they were telephones.  If I meet somebody who I don’t think likes me, I say to myself, “Bob, this one’s temporarily out of order.”  You know.  Don’t break the connection.  Just hang up and try again. ~ What About Bob?

Boy, is my wife going to be surprised!  She always wanted to repaint the kitchen in a nice olive color, so while she’s away on business, I’m going to get busy with these fresh new rollers and gallons of black paint. ~ Brad Simanek

Give a man a piece of working code and you solve his problem.  Teach a man to write code and you give him a lifetime of new problems.

God never gives us more than we can handle.  Luckily, though, Bubba’s Big Boy Buffet does.

We need to know who wrote the Declaration of Independence and when to use an apostrophe in its, but more than that we need to know how to love to learn and how to totally entertain people at cocktail parties.  Do you think folks who use apostrophes right are the hit of cocktail parties?  Nope.  It’s those of us who can hypnotize chickens, every time.

I still think one of mankind’s greatest inventions is that little brown strip that appears in the bottom of my underwear to tell me when it’s time to wash them. ~ Michael F.

a different kind of share-a-thon

It’s time for our 2007 Spring Share-A-Thon, but this is unlike any other fundraiser you’ve ever been part of.  We are not asking for money!  Believe it… or not.  At this time, Buffet o’ Blog is a not-for-profit blog, where we don’t have any ads nor do we sell you useless crap nor do we beg and plead for money.  We provide humor for our readers at no charge whatsoever.  So why would we even bother to have a Share-A-Thon?  Let me explain…

Our purpose is to make people laugh more, because laughing is good for your health, and it makes the world a better place.  But if people don’t visit our site, our efforts are less productive.  So we are asking you to tell at least one person about the blog this week.  Surely almost all our regular readers can think of one person among their family and friends who would appreciate the brand of humor here.  So all we ask you to do is tell them about it.  That way our readership increases, and as more people participate in the comments, it becomes even more fun.  And you get to help make the world a better place.

That wasn’t so bad was it?  At least we didn’t ask you to give your “best gift” or to “plant a $1000 seed”.  🙂  No one is required to give us money.  (We’re just generous that way, sharing out of the abundance of humor in our hearts.)  Of course, if anyone would like to voluntarily donate money or cookies or nachos, we do accept donations.  🙂  But we don’t expect any.

Did you know this blog is the greatest thing compared to sliced bread?  There’s no way you can have as much fun with sliced bread (although covering it with gravy is good, but you can’t eat 24/7, and this blog is always up).  And it was once voted the #1 humor website!  (Granted, that was a small group voting, but we’ll take what we can get.)  And we’ve had some great testimonials, like, “Your blog is really funny!”  We could go on, but we’ll quit tooting our own horn now.  You can see for yourself by perusing the blog.

So tell all your friends.  And laugh even more than you have been…