a snow hurricane

This post may seem contrived given the content versus the current news event of Hurricane Sandy combining with a cold front to bring potentially unprecedented devastation, but I assure you this was written a couple of weeks ago.  It’s ironic because we discussed a snow hurricane, but considered it just rambling because that’s impossible, right?  Hurricanes require warmth to survive, yet this one may produce wintry precipitation with this “100-year-storm” / nor’easter / frankenstorm.  Anyway, enough with the irony… let’s get to the rambling.

Recently we had discussed how to prevent hurricanes, and one of our regular readers had the idea of using some of our existing technology that we’ve already invented.  His suggestion was to use our snow machine to create snow in the Sahara Desert.  (Yes, we have built a snow machine from scratch.  Follow the link if this is news to you.)  Based on just those parameters, it sounds like a win-win scenario, but there’s a flaw in the slaw.  However, I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me first explain his idea.

Of course we’d have to scale up our snow making machine many times, but this can be done given enough funds.  But as you might have already surmised, such an idea has a few logistical issues.  Making snow requires water, which is typically scarce in a desert.  (Yeah, yeah, that goes without saying — it’s a desert.  Duh!)

So this “solution” might be impossible.  But for a moment, let’s imagine the possibilities.  Given enough snow injected into the hurricane-forming cycle, could it create a snow hurricane?  (A snowicane?  A hurrisnow?  We’ll have to work on the name.)  But imagine a snowstorm in the form of a hurricane that comes to the southern U.S. and dumps snow everywhere… that would be awesome!  (For those of you not familiar with the southern U.S., it rarely snows here.  It’s a BIG DEAL when we get accumulation on the ground — schools cancel (sometimes even at the mere forecast of snow), businesses close, and people play in the snow and make snow ice cream.  Here in Arkansas, we rarely get more than a couple inches a year.)  Although, besides the awesomeness of it, there would be collateral damages, and then we’d be working on a way to stop it, so perhaps we aren’t really fixing the problem with this “solution”.  But personally, I’d rather have several inches of snow than several inches of rain, so I’m all for it.

Perhaps we should apply science here instead of just rambling.  (What an idea!)  Hurricanes may start with dry desert air, but they have to accumulate moisture at some point.  If we could make that moisture cold enough and somehow get it to stay cold… well, this might be impossible as well.

This idea will require a professional-grade think tank.  Fortunately, the Buffet o’ Blog R&D (Research & Development) team is qualified for such a task.  What we’ll need is (can you guess?): a lot of money.  Now, I know, you’re thinking it doesn’t take money to think, and there’s some truthiness to that.  But a hurricane-scale snow maker isn’t gonna build itself, plus there are numerous logistical impossibilities to overcome, and we’d need time away from our jobs to accomplish this mission.  So if you want a hurricane made of snow, you’re gonna have to send us money.  There’s simply no other way.  Again, we can print off some official certificates saying you’re awesome for contributing to this world-changing project, and you’ll feel warm and toasty inside (except when you’re out playing in the snow).

If you have money but doubt our plan, we could draw up some diagrams and flow charts to send to you in exchange for funding.  🙂  We could also meet to discuss this over good pizza…  (Our R&D department usually meet while eating… we’ve found it’s good for morale and having good ideas.)

why it’s so hot

Here in Arkansas, it’s been over 100 degrees every day, and it was for much of June, too (which is not normal and ain’t right).  In case you’re wondering why, here’s a picture that was taken today.

Apparently the Earth is about 12 feet from the Sun now.  That must explain why it’s crazy-mad hot now.

how to describe this heat wave

The past few days have been so hot we’ve been trying to figure out how to describe it.  Wednesday it was 110 here with a heat index over 120, with lots of humidity.  I think that goes beyond crazy-mad hot.  Our local weathermen are running out of adjectives and phrases for the forecasts.

So we came up with a new heat scale:

* The day-star, it burns
* That ain’t right hot
* Crazy-mad hot
* Unbelievably stupid-hot
* Is this Arizona?
* This heat is inconceivable!
* Warmageddon
* Heatastrophe
* Hot Attack
* So hot that if someone says “Hot enough for ya?” you’re allowed to punch them.
* Did you replace my sweet tea with jalapeno juice?
* It feels like I’m on fire
* I’m on fire
* No really, I’m actually on fire it’s so hot

 

caption contest, firefighters watching fire tornado

It’s even hotter than normal for August here in central Arkansas (as the last post so deftly explains), so I thought this week’s caption contest could have something to do with extreme heat.   I chose a picture of firefighters watching a fire tornado.  You get to write a caption explaining how this happened, or what the people are thinking, or what the cameraman is looking at instead of the fire tornado, or make up a story that’s somehow related to what’s happening in the photo.  Use your imagination…  see if you can surprise me…  🙂

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)