eating like a millionaire

I don’t make it a habit to daydream about how I’d live if I won the lottery and had millions of dollars. It’s just not all that productive or fruitful, though I admit it has happened before. But I thought of it again recently due to a news story.

Mike Lindell (CEO of My Pillow) is back in the news because the FBI “raided” him at a Hardee’s drive-thru and took his phone (with a warrant). I won’t get into all the politics of that (except to remind you to get your news from multiple sources so you get the full story and not just what fits the narrative of “conservative news” or “liberal news”). (Also let me remind you to not get into a political rant in the comments or it may be deleted. If it’s a funny joke, that may be okay, though.)

Anyway, so Lindell is a multi-millionaire, at one point worth an estimated $500 million. He can afford to eat anything he wants. And of course, he is free to choose to eat anything he wants, so if Hardee’s is his preferred place for a burger, that’s fine. It just seems odd to me. I’m not trying to dis’ Hardee’s at all — they sell fast food at a certain price point, and there’s a market for that — but there are better burgers available, albeit for a higher price. It’s just that Lindell can afford any burger he wants.

I don’t know what restaurants are available in the town where he works, and I don’t care to research that. But here’s my idea. Since he’s the CEO of his own company, he could just hire someone to grill burgers for him with an actual charcoal grill and cook whatever else he wants whenever he wants, and clean it all up, and he could write the whole thing off as a business expense. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Granted, it is somewhat extravagant to have your own personal chef, although he is a millionaire. But he could do even more with that idea — he could share that food with other people in the company, which would boost morale significantly. I used to work at a large corporation, and I still remember when they’d have free burgers. They weren’t great burgers, but they were good, and they were free. People get excited about free food. And even if the company didn’t want to add that expense, they could offer it to the employees at cost. They could even use high-quality ingredients, then. That would boost morale, and it would encourage employees to take a shorter lunch by staying on-campus. Then it becomes a win-win.

I do realize this whole discussion is based on the premise of grilling a great-tasting burger. I don’t know if most people feel this way or not. But I have researched the taste of my own grilled burgers against the burgers at various restaurants around town, and I prefer a freshly-grilled burger at home. If others don’t feel the same way, maybe that just means they’re not as good at grilling… 🙂 It is important to note that the quality of ingredients matters, too — not all beef patties are the same quality, as well as other ingredients, and technique matters.

Maybe Lindell is is penny-pinching because he’s concerned about that lawsuit over the voting machines where Dominion is suing him for all-the-money… Although one could argue that he should live it up while he can because he may soon be poor or middle-class like most of us.

Note-to-self: if any of us ever win the lottery and start a research company, we could do this food write-off proper. Well, not just proper (which is a saying), but next-level awesome. The concept could be applied to other foods, too. And while free food is great, the IRS now wants to tax employees for it when they receive free food at work, so selling it at cost might be the better option. Imagine if for your lunch break you had the option to get a steak grilled to your liking using high-quality ingredients, at cost. I figure most of us would like to eat more steak, but it’s quite expensive, especially if you want it done well. If it was at cost, it could be just a few dollars, which would greatly improve morale around the workplace…

buying all the most expensive cheese

Novak Djokovic meme - donkey cheeseThe world’s #1 ranked tennis player, Novak Djokovic, has bought the world’s entire supply of donkey cheese.  It’s the world’s most expensive cheese, and it’s called pule.  It’s made in one farm in the world, and it takes 25 liters of donkey milk to make 1 kilogram of pule.  It sometimes sells for over $500 per pound.  It supposedly has 60 times more Vitamin C than cheese from cow’s milk.

Djokovic is opening a chain of restaurants which will feature this cheese, so he bought the upcoming year’s supply of it for his own use.  Supposedly this cost him millions of dollars, but he can afford it.  He’s been a top 3 tennis player in the world for several years now, and last year he made $19.8 million.

The Buffet o’ Blog staff has talked about opening our own restaurant, but we’ve never considered cornering the market on a single ingredient.  There’s an obvious reason for that — it takes beaucoups of money.  Instead, we’ll just have to create the most awesome restaurant, which I’m confident we could do, given a reasonable amount of investment.  Somebody out there has more money than ideas, and we’re still waiting for their people to contact our people.  If you know one of these people, give ’em a swift kick or light a fire under ’em (not literally), to push them in the right direction.  I know there’s already some great restaurants, but it’s clear that many places just don’t get it.  For example, I know of restaurants that don’t use any bacon… for anything.  Obviously, you don’t have to, but given the fact that bacon makes almost any dish considerably better, why would you not have bacon in your restaurant?  These things seem like common sense to us, but as the saying goes, common sense isn’t.

more of The 3 Stooges, please

The staff here at Buffet o’ Blog all recently saw The 3 Stooges movie.  With us being all guys, we thought the movie was awesome.  It could’ve done without the woman dressing immodestly — there was no need for trashiness.  Overall, we thought it was very funny and mostly true to the original series.  However, somehow the movie concluded without there being a food fight. I don’t get it.  Such a scene was all setup at one point, and we all thought it was coming, but it never happened.  Were the directors trying to psyche us out, or did they just forget?

Anyway, this isn’t just a review of the movie.  I got to thinking about a further application of something that happened in the movie.  (Mini-spoiler alert.)  When Moe went to be on the reality TV show Jersey Shore, that was hilarious.  None of us watch Jersey Shore (do I even need to explain why?), but we all joked that it might be worth watching if someone like Moe was actually on the show.  (Well, I still wouldn’t watch that show because of all the immorality, but follow the idea.)  There are many shows that could benefit from the addition of The 3 Stooges.  The most obvious application is a parody movie involving them (or a reasonable facsimile) inserted into scenes reminiscent of other movies and/or TV shows.  But the concept could be expanded to all kinds of television shows.

I realize there are legal complications with this idea, but that’s for lawyers to iron out.  The point is, this idea would make many TV shows and movies more interesting, and you’d get more men to watch, which makes more money, so it’s a win-win situation.  Add The 3 Stooges to a chick flick, and it would become a romantic comedy that’s actually funny.  (Although the idea might not resonate well with women — some women find their brand of humor repulsive.  I don’t understand… wait, I already said that.)  🙂  Regardless of the gender culture gap, this could help many shows.

The next time you watch TV, imagine how the inclusion of The 3 Stooges would impact what you’re watching.  And if you want to take the idea even further, check out our post on how to make any movie awesome.  This idea fits in perfectly with that concept.  In fact, combine both ideas — take any show or movie, add the 3 Stooges, plus ninjas, car chases, wrecks, military-grade weapons, explosions, epic fight scenes, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Mr. T, Buford T. Justice, Rosco P. Coltrane, etc., and it would be awesome beyond description.  (We should definitely be directing movies!)

devastating explosions

Some friends recently told me about a website caused Devastating Explosions, at the touch of a button.  I have to say, this is one of the coolest websites I’ve ever seen.  All it is is explosions that you detonate, but what more do you need?  I recommend you make your web browser full-screen for this page.

The website is courtesy of Old Spice.  I’m not really sure what deodorant has to do with explosions, but it’s cool nonetheless.  (Yeah, I realize it’s a marketing ploy to get them recognition, and it’s a good one.)

Anyway, back to the explosions… One of them has two tanker trucks blowing up in an intersection, which seems odd.  But then an old car drives through the explosion area like nothing happened.  Another scene has a huge explosion and there’s somebody walking along casually.  I’m thinking if there’s a massive explosion that close to you and you aren’t either admiring it or running away, then you had something to do with it and are trying too hard to look innocent.

There needs to be more websites like this… and they should be made into TV commercials.

We need to figure out how to get paid for making video clips of explosions!  Surely there are many amateur / indie movie-makers who would like to add more explosions to their films (who wouldn’t?), but they don’t have the budget for it.  Plus it would be awesome to try to build the most complete library of explosions ever!  How many unique explosions could we think up?  I don’t know, but I’ve got quite a few ideas already…