How about another caption contest for this week? [much cheering imagined in the background] Okay, then let’s get to it.
(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)
caption contest, two fat guys
Buffet o' Blog
Warning : May contain more than your daily recommended allowance of randomness
Buffet o' Blog 
Beppo
Man in the middle: “Will the two of you be having the buffet?”
Important Doctor
Man in Middle: We thank you two for being our guest speakers today, and for proving to the people in our support group that, just as you did, they can INDEED beat anorexia too.
mango-man
Big guy on right to less big guy on left: “You are such a wuss… you’re not HALF the man I am. Even your MaMa thinks I’m the MAN!”
skinny guy in middle: “OOOOOH! he’s talking ’bout your Mama! you’re not gonna take that are you?”
guy on left: “take it back! don’t make me have to get up from here!”
Holiday Inn Express
Guy in Middle: I present to you both the prestigious “200 Starving Africans” award, to commemorate how many people could have been fed by the food you ate today. It’s not an easy award to get, most contestants in the “Get really fat” game only make it to the “100 Starving Africans” level.
Fat Guy: I’m honored to accept this award. It wasn’t easy, but through hard work, perserverance, and eating a crapton of food, we did it!
Really Fat Guy: There’s a contest for this? I was just tired of never having any armrests on my chair, and just kept eating until I grew my own armrests.
Holiday Inn Express
Fat Guy: Oh, this isn’t actually fat. It’s the hopes and dreams of the owners of every single buffet that’s we’ve visited.
Really Fat Guy: I’m single-handedly responsible for the demise of the 24 hour buffet.
Thomas Wayne
Guy on right: “I’m glad these chairs don’t have armrests on them.”
Man in middle: “Sir, they did, until you sat down.”
Guy on right: “Huh? Did you say something? I couldn’t hear you over my stomach growling. I haven’t eaten in two hours! Where’s the buffet?”
Thomas Wayne
Guy on left: “Man, I thought *I* was fat… Good gravy!”
Guy on right: “Did someone say… GRAVY?!?“
Holiday Inn Express
Guy in Middle (waiter): Did…did you two just EAT your table?
Holiday Inn Express
Guy in Middle (sumo wrestling coach): Yes, you have to wear the diaper. No, I can’t make an exception just for you. No, I don’t think the diaper makes your butt look big.
Thomas Wayne
Guy in Middle, thinking to himself: It’s not the diaper nor your pants that makes your butt look big…
mango-man
both big guys in unison to guy in middle: mmm… you look tasty!
Important Doctor
The Guinness World Record Buffet? YEP, we ate the WHOLE thing.
https://buffetoblog.wordpress.com/2006/03/29/4-beautiful-words-all-you-can-eat/
Beppo
Man in the middle: “Guys, you have to leave now.”
Guy on right: “Why, is the buffet closed?”
Man in the middle: “No, the buffet has been destroyed.”
Holiday Inn Express
Fat Guy: Where’s the buffet table at? I don’t see it anywhere.
Guy in Middle: This is a performance by Jimmy Buffett, there’s not actually a meal here.
Really Fat Guy: Idiot! I told you we should have stopped for food on the way here.
Fat Guy: Soooo hungery. Haven’t eaten in 30 minutes…
Thomas Wayne
Guy on right: “Being fat isn’t all bad — just the other day I enjoyed the pleasure of offering my seat to three ladies.”
Bag O' Donuts
Those guys are two agents sent in by John McCain to cripple Obama’s campaign budget at the “all you can eat” fundraiser dinner.
Fat guy #1: “How many times is he going to say the word change?”
Fat guy #2: “It’s time for change…a change into a bigger pair of pants!”
Mission Accomplished
Mr. Destructo
Super-fat guy: “I had to start using the Richter Scale to weigh myself.”
Cynthia
Whoa. This was the only one that made me laugh. Too funny.
Thomas Wayne
Brotha’ in the middle: These here are some white men that can’t jump… AT ALL!
Beamis
You can call him Crisco because he’s fat in the can.
Thomas Wayne
Man in the middle: “Gentlemen…”
Guy on the left: “Are you talking to us?”
Man in the middle: “I’m going to have to ask you to please stop burping and passing gas. It is very inconsiderate of the other guests.”
Guy on the right: “Passing gas is… hold on… PBPBPBPBPB… PT!… whoa, that was a nice out!”
Man in the middle: “That was not nice, sir!”
Guy on the right: “Like I was saying, passing gas is a natural bodily function; I cannot apologize.”
Beppo
Guy on the left: “I just don’t understand why there aren’t women falling at our feet. We followed my dad’s advice wholeheartedly since childhood.”
Guy in the middle: “Women want men with flat stomachs and fat wallets. Perchance did you get that backwards?”
Guy on the right: “Oh… that might explain some things…”
Thomas Wayne
Fat guy on the right: Do these pants make me look fat?
Keyshawn
My aneorexia is in remission…
Beppo
Guy in middle: Guys, you’re gonna have to go on the disabled list. Tests shows you are suffering from a torn inseam and a stress fracture in your belt.
Cliff
The U-hauls with ramps are here..one man per truck.
Darn highway scales!
Beppo
Waiter (in middle): “Gentlemen, the buffet is now closed. You have eaten the entire buffet, and we are out of food.”
Guy on right: “But I’m still hungry…”
Waiter: “Inconceivable…”
Guy on left: “You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means…”