the dangers of selling farts

You might think the title said “the dangers of smelling farts”, which would be a more expected post, but that’s a different subject entirely, and one I don’t care to dig into. This is actually about selling farts.

Before I get into the details here, let me warn you that this is dumpster fire type material. So if you really don’t want to know, you should stop here. I’ll even provide a link to take you to a random post here (which is also in the sidebar): Random Randomness.

The story starts with a 31-year-old reality star who had a side-business of selling her farts in a jar. I’m not too surprised that someone had the idea, but I am surprised that someone actually followed through with the idea, and I’m shocked that she has made over $200,000 somehow with this “job”. Apparently she was selling them for $100 to $500 each, and she was selling a lot. I don’t get it. I figured this was satire / parody / fiction / fake news. But a search has it showing up on legit news sources. So I just don’t know… Who pays that much for stank?!? I have no idea how famous she is — I don’t follow “reality TV” at all — but it really doesn’t matter. Why would you pay money to smell anybody’s farts? Perhaps if a jar was a dollar or two, I could see a few people buying one for a prank gift or a “dirty Santa” party, but not at hundreds of dollars. (BTW, some people have “dirty Santa” parties where they expect legitimate gifts around a certain dollar value, so it’s good to know the expectations.) I’ve seen prank gifts of candles that smell like poop, but they were $20, which is beyond prank gift budget for me. But I digress…

So far we’ve discussed how this is gross and/or silly, but it gets worse — hence the dangerous part. Demand for these fart jars increased to over 50 per week, and this woman switched her diet to beans and eggs. Those foods are good and healthy in moderation, but there was no moderation here. At one point the gas pains got so intense that she thought she was having a heart attack or stroke and went to the hospital. Fortunately for her it was “just a very, very severe case of gas”. It was enough to make her retire… somewhat… (Yeah, there’s more…)

The self-described “fartrepreneur” has decided to sell digital fart jars in the form of NFTs. (If you don’t know, an NFT is basically a digital item like a picture or video that is registered in the blockchain; it’s a trendy concept right now, with many people trying to cash in with dumb stuff, looking to get-rich-quick.) Anyway, I don’t know why anyone would buy a photo of a fart jar, so I reckon I’m not the intended audience.

This isn’t the first “fart art” I’ve heard of, though… there is actually some music that has flatulence in it, in a funny way. I’ll provide a link, since if you’re still reading you must have at least some interest in laughing at flatulence (or perhaps in being grossed out by it). 🙂

I hope this doesn’t make you lose too much faith in humanity… But it is a weird world out there…

black cat takes over your favorite movies

It’s amazing what people can do with video via computer editing these days. There’s a content creator on YouTube called OwlKitty who uses a green screen to put his black cat into famous movies and video games. These are short clips and they’re worth your time (if you like cats and/or parodies). It’s not your ordinary LOLcatz videos. And I’m fairly certain this is why YouTube was invented in the first place. 🙂

OwlKitty has replaced “Baby Yoda” (i.e., Grogu) in The Mandalorian. (This is my favorite one.)

Here’s a famous Jurassic Park scene but with OwlKitty replacing the T-Rex:

Want more? Here’s a Lord of the Rings parody:

For a video game parody, OwlKitty is now a character in Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros Ultimate:

There’s more where that came from…

impressing the repairman

This is not my kitchen. My kitchen is used several times a day and I have better things to do than clean it several times a day.

There’s a repairman coming to my house this week to fix my oven, so he’s going to see my kitchen, living room, and dining room, and I really want to impress him with how clean and organized my house is. Well, except I don’t. But apparently I should. Supposedly. I don’t know. I mean, the house isn’t trashed or filthy — it just looks like a couple of young kids live here with parents who are too busy with life to keep the house spotless. Ironically, that’s true because it’s true. Well, I reckon that’s unironically, since the situation and explanation should be normal and okay. (What is it called when irony is ironic? Or if a lack of irony is actually irony? Are there terms for such confusion? But that’s a rabbit trail for another day… or not.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah, making a good impression with the repairman. I don’t know him. I’ve seen him once before, when he diagnosed the problem with my oven and had to order parts. I think I’d still classify him as a visitor, since I don’t even know his name. Maybe I should get to know him. After all, his opinion of my house is apparently really important and valuable, such that it causes stress and we need to clean a lot. So should I invite him over for dinner sometime? Although, on second thought, that might be awkward. Actually, this whole idea is awkward.

So what’s going on here? Basically, the post is satire but is based on actual events. The confusion is real. The awkwardness is unfortunately real. But here is the dramatic twist in the narrative — you can be the hero! Yes, you! Wait, before you click away, I’m not dragging you into this quagmire. There’s no further need to judge my house or repair my oven. Where you can help is by explaining what’s going on here. Why should I care what the repairman thinks of how clean and organized my house is? Are there legitimate reasons, or is this a load of malarkey? I report, you decide. If you understand, please leave a comment.

invisible sculpture for sale

From the department of “you are not going to believe this”, there’s an Italian artist named Salvatore Garau who recently auctioned a sculpture that does not actually exist and someone paid $18,300 for it! Literally, there is nothing but a certificate of authenticity and some instructions for how to display it. He calls it an “immaterial sculpture”. And this isn’t even the first time he’s “created” an invisible statue / sculpture — he’s made one that’s supposedly inside some white tape on the ground (see video image at the link above).

The “artist” explains it this way (from Snopes.com):

Rather than invisible sculptures, I would define them as immaterial sculptures. My fantasy, trained for a lifetime to feel differently the existing around me, allows me to “see” what apparently does not exist. The intangible sculptures are works that I feel as physical. Into the void there is a container of positive and negative possibilities that are constantly equivalent, in short, there is a density of events. Furthermore, the void is nothing more than a space full of energy, even if we empty it of electromagnetic fields, neutrinos, dark matter – in a way that nothing remains – it stands out that according to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (which I recently read with enthusiasm) nothing has a weight! Therefore, it has an energy that condenses and turns into particles, in short, in us!

Now, if you aren’t experienced in the finer nuances of modern art, you might think this is all just jibber-jabber nonsense with a few scientific words included to confuse ignorant folk. But apparently he’s onto something, if multiple people are willing to bid tens of thousands of dollars to buy this art. And I completely understand what he’s talking about.

However, this is way too “high society” for most people. Honestly, middle class people just can’t afford $18,300 to buy any art piece, no matter how good it may or may not appear. Plus his requirements of five feet by five feet is a lot of spare room that most people just don’t have in their house. I get that. That’s where Buffet o’ Blog comes in.

We have for sale similar sculptures, made affordably for you. Each piece is unique, yet immaterial. It’s random, yet profound. Amusing, yet contemplative. Each order includes a certificate of authenticity. And it requires only about one foot by one foot, so you can put it on a coffee table or your bathroom counter or for your dining table centerpiece (it’s a great conversation starter!). It can be enjoyed anytime, but for optimum experience, we recommend you contemplate the depth of it while consuming your favorite beverage (like sweet tea). We also made them easier to understand — no need to ponder the uncertainty of neutrinos or any such scientific stuff. Anyone can comprehend what ours is all about.

See how much better this looks?

How much would you pay for something like this? $5,000? $10,000? It could be worth that. These are hand-crafted here in the USA — no imported ingredients ever. We pay attention to detail, and they all pass multiple stages of quality control. But because we want everyone to be able to enjoy these in the comfort of your own home, we are offering them for the low, low introductory sale price of $120 each. That’s over 95% off the MSRP!

Order now! Supplies are limited! If you pass on this offer, you might have regret for a long time (which might feel like indigestion… or bad gas).

Seriously, we priced it low so you can enjoy it. This is for your benefit. These are super premium quality — pictures don’t do it justice, you need to see it in your home. It’s not every day you can get world-famous-style art in your home for such an affordable price!