In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction. Read for yourself:
Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.
The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.
Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …
“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”
Yeah, I called it reckless farting. (Have you ever heard those two words together before?) It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy. I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out. Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs). Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern. Por ejemplo: [fart] “Whew, that stinks.” [fart again] “That’s some stank-terribleness.” [fart again] “I can hardly breathe…” [fart again] “I’m about to die!” The pattern is obvious.
Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas? Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.” You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure. But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day. 🙂