new music that’s funny and random

I recently heard about a new music album that is both funny and random, so naturally it’s a good fit for this blog.  The album is called “Bringin’ da Phat”, by DJ Turbo-Lax and MC Refried Breeze.  That should tell you something about it right there.  (I tell ya, you can find anything on the Internet!)  As you might surmise by the artist names, the songs have random acts of flatulence in them.  So that automatically divides the audience.  If you get offended by such things, you’ve been forewarned.  But if you can laugh at farting, you might hurt yourself laughing at these songs.

I listen to a lot of music, but I must admit I’ve never heard anything like this before.  The beat changes often, jumping between genres at will.  You will be surprised.  The vocal phrases and utterings combined with the sound effects are hilarious.  So perhaps it’s “toilet humor”, but it’s clean, other than the resulting skid marks.  Some of the beats jam, too.

You can listen to it for free at Spotify, although you have to install the player if you haven’t already.  It’s also available for purchase at eMusic, Amazon, and iTunes.  Of course you can listen to samples of the tracks on those last 3 sites.

Regarding the album art, yeah, it might be a low-budget production, but the sound quality is good, and in addition to hearing a cornucopia of beats, it will make you laugh.  Not many songs can say that.

So if you can stomach this kind of humor, I recommend checking it out.

Are dinosaurs extinct because of their farting?

In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction.  Read for yourself:

Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.

The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.

Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …

“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”

“Not the momma!”

Yeah, I called it reckless farting.  (Have you ever heard those two words together before?)  It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy.  I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out.  Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs).  Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern.  Por ejemplo: [fart]  “Whew, that stinks.”  [fart again]  “That’s some stank-terribleness.”  [fart again]  “I can hardly breathe…”  [fart again]  “I’m about to die!”  The pattern is obvious.

Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas?  Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.”  You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure.  But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day.  🙂

explaining Japan’s nuclear situation to children

Someone sent me a video of a cartoon character named Nuclear Boy, who explains the nuclear disaster in Japan, but in a format for children.  This video (below) has captioning translated to English.  Apparently it was designed by someone in Japan, so I don’t think it’s meant to make light of the situation, just putting it in terms children can relate to, like passing gas / farting, poo, and diarrhea.  Yeah, this video compares radiation emissions to gas, and a complete meltdown like Chernobyl is diarrhea.

Just to be clear, this is not to make fun of what’s happening in Japan right now.  My heart goes out to them.  I can’t imagine what they’re going through.

This video is a lighter take on it, for children — well, also for teenagers and adults who are still fascinated by flatulence and poop.  Not everyone understands nuclear meltdown, but everyone understands diarrhea.

The name of the video translated into English is: A Nuclear Reactor Explained by Poop and Farts: Nuclear Reactor Boy’s Tummy Ache.

I’ve wondered if this is an actual translation, so I looked at the comments on the original video, and someone there translated it very similar, so it appears legit, as far as I know.

the EPA wants to tax dust

With this being a humor blog that specializes in randomness, you might not expect a story on regulations by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).  But we sometimes cover stupid news, partly because it can be random (in the creativity of the stupidity) and/or just funny.  This story isn’t laugh-out-loud (LOL) funny but stupid-funny (or stupid-stupid).

The EPA is considering a strict regulation with heavy fines on dust.  (Yeah, you read that right — dust, as in airborne dirt.)  According to this one website someone showed me, “Farmers could be fined for everyday activities like driving a tractor down a dirt road or tilling a field.”  Some areas have already suggested having “no till” days in response to this proposed standard.

Do I need to explain how stupid that is?  Apparently so…  To farm and raise crops, the ground must be tilled, and heavy machinery must be used to do all the planting, watering, and harvesting.  Dust is inevitable.  That’s just the practical aspect of it.   But we can get even more basic — humans are made of dirt.  It’s not like dirt is harmful to us.   You may not like getting dirty from dust, but it’s not as bad as living in a heavily-populated city full of pollution, breathing car exhaust fumes.  I’ve been in Los Angeles and New York City and Chicago, and the atmosphere in those places definitely isn’t as fresh and clean as Arkansas.  I’ve even lived on a farm.   Some dust in the air is not the problem!

Another problem with that is if there are “no till” days, then crops can ruin. When a crop is ready to be harvested, you have only a small window of time to get the best harvest, and farmers have a tough enough time making a profit as it is, without the EPA telling them they can’t drive their tractors on certain days.

One commenter on that website suggested that this move by the EPA could be to create more jobs for illegal immigrants.   If farmers can’t use their heavy machinery, they could use illegal aliens to do the manual labor.  Maybe that’s what that comment about retrofitting buses with diesel engines is about — to transport the millions of immigrants who will till the soil after tractors are made illegal.  That sounds like a conspiracy theory, but there are people scheming in politics…

I have to wonder if lawmakers don’t like farmers.   Not just because of that, but because of this other potential legislation — fining farmers for flatulence cows.   That sounds silly, but such a “cow tax” has been in consideration.  The Supreme Court ruled in 2007 that greenhouse gases emitted by belching and flatulence amounts to air pollution.  The American Farm Bureau Federation claims the EPA is proposing a required annual fee of $175 per dairy cow, $87.50 per head of beef cattle, and $20 per hog.   If this happens, it will probably get applied to more animals we consume (like chickens), and meat will become an imported item from other countries.   I’d rather that not become the standard.

I realize the government is hurting for money, but couldn’t they do something reasonable (i.e., not stupid and harmful)?  They could try the strategy of responsible spending — I don’t think they’ve attempted that one in many years…