Tag: satire

What is LOL supposed to mean?

Did you know some people type “lol” without actually laughing out loud? Crazy… Well, now there’s a device that ensures someone actually laughed when they typed it: the LOL Verifier. It’s a USB device that goes between your keyboard and computer and only lets you type “lol” if you truly laughed out loud. There’s a short TikTok video on the page that shows it in use, in a humorous way (by trying to not be humorous).

Does the world need this? No, not really. But the world does need to stop saying “LOL” if they aren’t actually laughing. I still remember the first time I experienced that nonsense. [cue flashback sequence] I was talking to a teenage girl, and I made a joke. She replied, “LOL”, but didn’t laugh. So what does that mean? Was I funny or not? (Probably not.) Was she trying to humor me? Perhaps. But it’s still ambiguous and illogical.

Rant aside, either way, people need to laugh more. It would make the world a better place. And it would make your life better. Well, perhaps the laughing itself isn’t the key factor here, but enjoying life enough that you are laughing is good for you. Although laughing does help you actually feel better. Some say that laughing is like jogging on the inside. 🙂 If you go through a day without laughing at all, ask yourself why and if you want to live that way. Just don’t say “LOL” outloud, please. Only authentic laughing helps.

important news announcement today

Have you noticed how biased most of the news sources are today? Some “news” stations / websites blame the Biden administration for everything, saying he’s done every single thing wrong, while some other “news” stations / websites blame Donald Trump for everything wrong with America. And of course, while each blames one political party for all the problems, they ignore the problems in their own party while promoting all the good things (even if they have to exaggerate). Actually, both Republicans and Democrats don’t get much done, even when they have majority control in Congress, and that’s probably a good thing.

Anyway, the “news” you hear is mostly full of bias and opinion (particularly about politics). If you only listen to one side (i.e., conservative or liberal), you may not even notice. Here’s a quick test — if you think one party will save America and the other party is to blame for the problems, you have been fed propaganda and bias. And if you are just now realizing this, I apologize. Propaganda seems tasty at first, but when you realize what it really is, it tastes like crap. So don’t eat it!

By now, you’re probably wondering why I’m ranting about politics. Well, this is a big problem in America now, and perhaps Buffet o’ Blog should transition to be a news source you can trust, albeit with humor. (Politics is especially devoid of humor, if you haven’t noticed. It’s like they just care about making you mad these days.) So to be truly fair and balanced, we’re not going to pander to either political party. We’ll tell you the truth! Although I do wonder if the general populace is ready for the truth… here’s why — your preferred party is part of the problem. It’s hard to swallow for people that are lifelong followers of either side — Republicans or Democrats. The truth is, both parties are largely corrupt, incompetent, self-seeking, and are leading America toward eventual destruction. Both will claim they are the solution, that if only their party was fully in charge everything would be great, but it’s not true. Every few years we have one party fully in charge, and not much changes. The same problems still persist and continue to worsen.

You know, scratch that. I don’t think we could make the truth very funny. So that part about starting our own news broadcast, let’s not do that. It is April Fools Day after all, and that part was made up. (Sadly, the rest of the rant is true. Sorry to rain on your parade, but it’s important to know.) So we’re going to remain focused on humor and randomness here. Regardless of our government leading us to a bad future, we should do our best to make the most of each day. Most of us cannot do much about the political debacle other than voting, so why let it sour your attitude and ruin your day? Focus on what you can do to make today great for you and those around you.

That’s all. This was an attempt to be funny about a topic that isn’t funny, and while it probably wasn’t funny, perhaps it could help you feel better anyway. If it failed, sorry; just go to the next post and it’ll not be about politics. I was just trying to mix humor and awareness and life improvement, hoping perhaps someone will look at their “news” consumption and think, “They’re just telling me what to be mad about, and every day there’s some seemingly huge problem that is blamed on the other party. I’d be happier if I didn’t consume all this. I could find better uses of that time.” Find what works for you… personally I’ve cut back on news. Watching it was often like watching a train wreck — it’s a disaster, but it can be hard to look away. However, watching too much of it makes you feel like you were run over by the train… 🙂 And then there’s that whole taste of propaganda thing… ugh!

Oops, sorry, I meant to stop but kept rambling. That happens sometimes. This blog is supposed to be an outlet for rambling and randomness, but there I go trying to help people again. I’ll stop again. 🙂

Thank you, drive thru…

impressing the repairman

This is not my kitchen. My kitchen is used several times a day and I have better things to do than clean it several times a day.

There’s a repairman coming to my house this week to fix my oven, so he’s going to see my kitchen, living room, and dining room, and I really want to impress him with how clean and organized my house is. Well, except I don’t. But apparently I should. Supposedly. I don’t know. I mean, the house isn’t trashed or filthy — it just looks like a couple of young kids live here with parents who are too busy with life to keep the house spotless. Ironically, that’s true because it’s true. Well, I reckon that’s unironically, since the situation and explanation should be normal and okay. (What is it called when irony is ironic? Or if a lack of irony is actually irony? Are there terms for such confusion? But that’s a rabbit trail for another day… or not.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah, making a good impression with the repairman. I don’t know him. I’ve seen him once before, when he diagnosed the problem with my oven and had to order parts. I think I’d still classify him as a visitor, since I don’t even know his name. Maybe I should get to know him. After all, his opinion of my house is apparently really important and valuable, such that it causes stress and we need to clean a lot. So should I invite him over for dinner sometime? Although, on second thought, that might be awkward. Actually, this whole idea is awkward.

So what’s going on here? Basically, the post is satire but is based on actual events. The confusion is real. The awkwardness is unfortunately real. But here is the dramatic twist in the narrative — you can be the hero! Yes, you! Wait, before you click away, I’m not dragging you into this quagmire. There’s no further need to judge my house or repair my oven. Where you can help is by explaining what’s going on here. Why should I care what the repairman thinks of how clean and organized my house is? Are there legitimate reasons, or is this a load of malarkey? I report, you decide. If you understand, please leave a comment.

invisible sculpture for sale

From the department of “you are not going to believe this”, there’s an Italian artist named Salvatore Garau who recently auctioned a sculpture that does not actually exist and someone paid $18,300 for it! Literally, there is nothing but a certificate of authenticity and some instructions for how to display it. He calls it an “immaterial sculpture”. And this isn’t even the first time he’s “created” an invisible statue / sculpture — he’s made one that’s supposedly inside some white tape on the ground (see video image at the link above).

The “artist” explains it this way (from Snopes.com):

Rather than invisible sculptures, I would define them as immaterial sculptures. My fantasy, trained for a lifetime to feel differently the existing around me, allows me to “see” what apparently does not exist. The intangible sculptures are works that I feel as physical. Into the void there is a container of positive and negative possibilities that are constantly equivalent, in short, there is a density of events. Furthermore, the void is nothing more than a space full of energy, even if we empty it of electromagnetic fields, neutrinos, dark matter – in a way that nothing remains – it stands out that according to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (which I recently read with enthusiasm) nothing has a weight! Therefore, it has an energy that condenses and turns into particles, in short, in us!

Now, if you aren’t experienced in the finer nuances of modern art, you might think this is all just jibber-jabber nonsense with a few scientific words included to confuse ignorant folk. But apparently he’s onto something, if multiple people are willing to bid tens of thousands of dollars to buy this art. And I completely understand what he’s talking about.

However, this is way too “high society” for most people. Honestly, middle class people just can’t afford $18,300 to buy any art piece, no matter how good it may or may not appear. Plus his requirements of five feet by five feet is a lot of spare room that most people just don’t have in their house. I get that. That’s where Buffet o’ Blog comes in.

We have for sale similar sculptures, made affordably for you. Each piece is unique, yet immaterial. It’s random, yet profound. Amusing, yet contemplative. Each order includes a certificate of authenticity. And it requires only about one foot by one foot, so you can put it on a coffee table or your bathroom counter or for your dining table centerpiece (it’s a great conversation starter!). It can be enjoyed anytime, but for optimum experience, we recommend you contemplate the depth of it while consuming your favorite beverage (like sweet tea). We also made them easier to understand — no need to ponder the uncertainty of neutrinos or any such scientific stuff. Anyone can comprehend what ours is all about.

See how much better this looks?

How much would you pay for something like this? $5,000? $10,000? It could be worth that. These are hand-crafted here in the USA — no imported ingredients ever. We pay attention to detail, and they all pass multiple stages of quality control. But because we want everyone to be able to enjoy these in the comfort of your own home, we are offering them for the low, low introductory sale price of $120 each. That’s over 95% off the MSRP!

Order now! Supplies are limited! If you pass on this offer, you might have regret for a long time (which might feel like indigestion… or bad gas).

Seriously, we priced it low so you can enjoy it. This is for your benefit. These are super premium quality — pictures don’t do it justice, you need to see it in your home. It’s not every day you can get world-famous-style art in your home for such an affordable price!