some random quotes for your Monday morning

Here’s a few quotes to lighten up your Monday morning.  Go ahead, laugh a little.  At least smile.  If you can’t smile, then the forces of Monday have overpowered you and you need help.

Did you know, 50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.

I’m going to ask you a question, and I want the truth!  Do you know how to breakdance? ~ “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

To make your bathroom breaks at work more fun for everyone, you should cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

I was thinking about how the status symbol of today is those pagers that everyone has clipped on their belts.  I can’t afford one so I’m wearing my garage door opener.

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

I think the key to my homemade “olde-tyme” peanut butter cookies is the great care I put into crunching up real peanuts into a smooth consistency.  Either that or the added saliva. ~ Brad Simanek

My wife must think I’m an idiot!  “Separate the white clothes from the colors.”  Ha!  Whether I separate them left-to-right or top-to-bottom, the washing machine will still mix them all together anyway! ~ Chuck Bonner

Did you laugh or at least smile?  If no, then you need help.  I’m sure someone here can help you.  First, try reading many posts at this site.  There’s some funny stuff here.  If you still never get amused, then there’s some serious issues.  You might’ve become a zombie, or a femi-nazi, or a “workaholic coworker”, or a politically correct person.  If any of these things apply, seek professional help.  It’s important to laugh!  If you are getting offended a lot, that’s a problem also; that would mean you need to get a life.  Our time on this earth is too short to waste it being offended at people’s stupidity or to walk in self-righteous indignation (which is also stupidity).  (Hey, maybe I should write some proverbs… hmm…)

Anyway, laugh often.  If there’s not enough humor happening around you, try to be funny yourself (if you can).

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