Are chimps better than humans?

chimpAccording to a new study by the National Academy of Sciences, chimpanzee genes have evolved more than human genes since they split about 6 million years ago.  First of all, this is stupid because we didn’t evolve from chimps nor from primordial ooze.  Second, this is stupid because even if evolution were true, how can someone think chimps have evolved more than humans?  We (humans) are obviously smarter.

Let the ranting begin…

10 thoughts on “Are chimps better than humans?

  1. Important Scientist

    If I have interpolated the data contained in this study correctly, it basically says this: Chimps are more evolved than these stupid scientists responsible for this data.

  2. He-Man Woman-Hater

    Just because chimps have more adaptive genes, doesn’t make them superior. I mean, women have more hormones than men, but that doesn’t make them superior. Psssssshhhhhhhhhhh!

  3. Say What?!

    Yep, it makes perfect sense.

    They (chimps) learn how to crack open nuts with rocks. we can crack open concrete with a jackhammer.

    Yep, they’re smarter.

    Chimps can make a nest out of twigs and leaves.
    Humans can build skyscrapers that can house thousands of people.

    Yep, they’re smarter.

    Chimps can huddle together for warmth.
    Humans have central heat and air.

    yep, they’re smarter.

    Chimps can climb a tree for a better view of the world.
    Humans send up a satellite.

    yep, they’re smarter.

    Chimps can use hand signals and vocal sounds to communicate with other chimps.
    Humans have hundreds of different complex languages which can be written down (by humans) and learned by other humans.

    I don’t know, do you think they are smarter? more evolved, maybe?

    Let’s continue…

    Chimps can eat with their hands.
    Humans can eat with a wide assortment of kitchenware and are even capable of manufacturing devices that can feed a person without the use of the upper limbs.

    I am convinced. Yep, they’re smarter.

    Chimps are able to formulate a basic social structure with an alpha male as the head over several chimps.
    Humans are able to formulate a highly complex social network that incorporates different avenues of social interaction in order to maintain stability for a society of billions of people.

    (sigh). Yep, they’re smarter.

    I mean, think about the logic here.

    The same people who say that we come from a single cell in some “primordial ooze” that divided itself into billions of cells also say that the chimp has evolved faster than we did even though we (so they say)started evolving at the same time as EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE STINKING PLANET AND HUMANS HAVE ACCOMPLISHED MORE IN LESS TIME!

    (scratches head).

  4. Thomas Wayne

    I can do anything a chimp can do — eat, scratch, fling poo, and mate. Plus I can do a whole lot more stuff, like play video games, play (and understand) sports, cook my food, domesticate lower animals, etc.

  5. Thomas Wayne

    If evolution is true, then I’m the product of billions of years of natural selection, meaning I’m superior to all those other people and animals. Yep, I’m the cream of the crop. That explains why I’m cooler than everybody else… obviously.

  6. Thomas Wayne

    Mango-Man, you’re a stupidhead… Just because you’re the cream of the crap, it doesn’t change the fact by putting down others. You should work on improving yourself, or somethin’…

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