downloading cheese dip through the Internet

Wouldn’t it be great if you could download cheese dip through the Internet?  You could just put a bowl of tortilla chips in front of your USB port, then download some cheese dip.  You’d need broadband, I’m sure, and you’d need some type of tubes for it to go through.  But according to senator Ted Stevens, the Internet runs on tubes.  So maybe we’re not that far from it…

Yeah, instead of a USB port, you could have a USC port — Unlimited Stream of Cheese.  🙂

Somebody should make this happen*.  I’d pay a couple extra bucks a month to get unlimited cheese dip!  Just imagine — cheese dip on-demand!

* I realize there’s some technical complications, but there’s some really smart people out there.  The people who say it can’t be done should get out of the way of the people trying to make this happen.  🙂

National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month

grilled cheese sandwichApril is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month.  Mmm… grilled cheese sammiches!  Gooey cheesiness on the inside, yet slighty crispy on the outside.  In addition to butter and cheese, you can put Miracle Whip inside it, too, which gives it a little extra tanginess.  Good stuff.

I realize this isn’t the healthiest of meals, and many people are trying to watch their weight by not eating stuff like this.  But it’s a national holiday, so you have to eat it.  At least eat one this month…  If you don’t, it’s just not patriotic… well, it’s at least doing a dishonor to grilled cheese sandwiches if you intentionally neglect the holiday.  You don’t want to be dishonorable, do you?

FYI, you can make these in a waffle iron, which does a pretty good job.  We did this a lot in the college years.  And Cheetos go well with it.  And sweet tea is the beverage of choice.  (For some reason I’m getting hungry…)

dealing with too much gas

I just received an e-mail from the indiscriminate Thomas Wayne, who would like some advice on a situation he is facing.

I had pizza last night, and it was excellent, but today I have lots of gas.  Excessive amounts, even.  But I work in a cubicle / cube farm, and some of my coworkers don’t appreciate the novelty of a rank fart.  And it’s not convenient to go to the bathroom every time I need to rip one — that would take way too much time (plus I’m lazy).  Also, I’ve heard that repressing your farts is bad for your health.  So what are my options?

Does anyone have any suggestions for Thomas Wayne in dealing with his exorbitant levels of flatulence?

top posts

I’m trying a new widget in the sidebar, to list the “Top Posts”.  However, it’s disappointing, in that it’s not listing the top posts of all-time or even since they started giving per-post statistics.  It’s listing the top posts of the last 24-48 hours, which is not what I want.  But I’ll leave it up for a while, to see if the statistics start counting today, making it eventually show the top posts of all-time.

Since it’s not showing the top posts, I’ll list for you what have been the most popular posts :

For those of you that have been here a while, these will bring back some good memories.  If you’re (relatively) new to the site and missed some of these, now you have a “greatest hits” collection to catch up with.  (Of course, you’re always welcome to peruse all posts in the archives, and you can comment on any post, regardless of how old it is.  None of them have passed their expiration date, so they’re all still fresh and tasty.)