Yesterday I tried Ben & Jerry’s AmeriCone Dream ice cream, designed by the one and only Stephen Colbert.  It’s some good stuff!  It’s vanilla ice cream, with pieces of waffle cone covered with fudge, and with swirls of caramel.  I found it at Walmart, and had to try it, so I could review it for my readers.  (Yeah, I make sacrifices like this all the time for you.  If you only knew…)  My official review : it’s good, and you should try it.

I think there should be a Buffet o’ Blog ice cream flavor.  It would start with sweet cream ice cream, with crumbled up Oreos (cookies ‘n cream) and graham cracker crumbs.  That’s what I get at Cold Stone Creamery, and it’s scrumptious.  If I could buy that at the grocery store, I’d get it all the time.  And if it had our name on it, we’d become even more famous, because word would get out and we’d be famous for designing the best ice cream mixture ever.  (Hey, Ben & Jerry, have your people contact my people, and let’s make this happen.)

The most popular football video game has been the Madden series for a few years, but I’d like to see one that has a lot more funny and random features.  They’ve got the realistic / simulation aspect covered.  I want a game where I can do whatever I want.

Let’s see, if I created a football video games, what would I add in as options…

• Control the weather.  If I want them to play in 12″ of snow, then I’ll make it happen.  Or if I’d rather the field be muddy from 8″ of torrential downpours, let that be an option.  And of course the gameplay has to reflect the difficulty of the weather.
• Choose from hilarious broadcasters.  I don’t want the same old play-by-play that most of these games feature.  I want someone with a lot of character and personality, who isn’t afraid of showing it.  It’s a video game, not real life, so let it loose.  Have someone who makes comments like, “His uniform should have number 2, because that’s how crappy his playing is.”  Another announcer could have lots of attitude, saying things like, “I know he didn’t!” and “If that was me, I wouldn’t tolerate that crap.”  Make it lively.
• When fights break out, zoom in and let the gamers control the fighting between individual players.  Let them get suspended, but allow the fighting.  (I suspect most teams would have some “expendable bench players” who tend to fight a lot.)  🙂
• Have a cheat code where you can make the center rip a loud fart while the quarterback is calling the play, then hear players chuckle.  (You know this feature should be in the game!  There would probably be casual fans buy the game primarily because of this.)
• Be able to customize the fields.  I know, most football stadiums are very much alike, and the fields are all the same size, but that can be boring.  I want to change the size of the field, the shape, and put random objects out there.  How about putting a mudhole the width of the field between the 10 and 20 yard lines?  Seems like it would add drama to the game.  I’d also put a flock of sheep at one end.  The options are endless.  This would increase replayability.

If you have any other suggestions, put them in the comments section.

Does your restless mind keep you awake?  Do you lie awake at night, wondering how to fall asleep?  If that’s you, then you should let some butterflies into your room at night.  It works in the commercials — those people go to sleep quickly, instantly even.  Although the butterflies are glowing, like they’re radioactive.  I don’t know where you can get any of those, though…  Even if you could get some, it might be a violation of federal law to use them in a manner inconsistent with their labelling.  And helping you fall asleep is probably not one of the intended uses for mutant butterflies.  Although those commercials have been on TV for a while now, so maybe they’ve found some loophole or something.  But I still don’t know where you can acquire any of those mutant butterflies…

This morning some of my co-workers expected me to get to work by 8:00 AM, so I didn’t have time for a fair and balanced breakfast.  That meant no cereal and certainly not anything more elaborate.  I didn’t want to skip out on breakfast, because it’s one of the three most important meals of the day.  Fortunately I found some raw cookie dough in the fridge.  Of course there wasn’t time to cook it, but it turned out that this was some of that new “slow-bake” cookie dough.  Now, by the name, you might think it would take longer to prepare, but the irony is that it’s much quicker.  See, it bakes at 98.6 degrees.  You don’t have to wait on the oven to preheat, because your stomach is already preheated to this exact temperature.  So you just eat the raw cookie dough, and nature naturally takes care of it for you while you go on about your business.  It’s quite convenient!

BTW, of course I had milk to go with it.  You’ve got to have milk with chocolate chip cookies!  It was 2 percent milk.  (Yes, that’s because I’m overweight.)  Hopefully these were some specially-formulated low-fat cookies.  I didn’t have time to read the nutritional info on the package to verify this, though…