Tag: rambling

selling a permanent vacation

I saw a commercial from a company that sells timeshares, and as part of their promotional offer, they said:

“Wouldn’t it be great if you could make your vacation last the rest of your life?”

Yeah, of course it would!  Who wouldn’t buy that?  But of course they aren’t really offering that.  They want to sell you a place you can go on vacation that’s always there.  Although, you can’t go at any time or an unlimited amount, because you’re sharing it with other people in the program.

If you think about it, there are nearly endless vacation opportunities that are always there, whether you buy into this program or not.  Granted, their plan might be good if you want to go to their places on a regular basis, but that particular commercial was misleading.  If they were selling me a vacation that lasted the rest of my life, I’d buy it!  That’s like selling someone an early retirement.  If I could quit working and just vacation all I wanted to, I would, and I wouldn’t have to buy their program to do it.

If someone could sell an early retirement, that would be a highly desired product, because everyone wants that.  But, it would be crazy expensive, and the people who could afford it are the ones who can already afford to retire early…

offended at poop

Look at this…

poop in yard

I don’t have to tell you what this is.  This is poop.  You can call it crap, turds, or whatever colorful euphemism for feces you want.  Either way, it’s gross.  (As the saying goes, poop by any other name smells the same.)  But there’s no need for you to get offended… it’s not real poop.  It’s a picture of real poop, so what we have here is a virtual representation.  It doesn’t stink, and it won’t make a mess.  Go ahead and touch it.  See, nothing happens.  So don’t get all offended.

But I am offended.  The problem with this poop is that it’s in my yard.  But I didn’t put it there, neither did anyone associated with my household.  I have no pets at this time.  And I did not sign up for the fertilize-your-yard chain letter.  So this pile of poop was placed in my yard illegally.  Yeah, someone was trespassing.

I figure it was someone’s dog, but that’s still WRONG!  People shouldn’t let their dog poop in my yard!  If I knew who it was, I could toss it on their driveway, to make sure they took notice of it.

Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again, before bad things happen…

the wonder of lightning bugs

Do you ever watch lightning bugs?  I was standing on my back porch last night, and there’s a huge open field behind my house.  I could see hundreds of lightning bugs, all of them flashing their patterns.

lightning bugThey’re also known as the firefly.  They create the light using certain enzymes that react together.  They use this light for our enjoyment.  🙂  No, really, it’s for mating purposes.  They create unique courtship patterns.  I don’t understand this.  Does this female firefly get interested because one guy has 5 flashes in quick succession?  Or does the rhythm of the flashing make her want to dance?  I guess it doesn’t matter…

Scientists are trying to reproduce this chemical (luciferase) in the lab through genetic engineering for other purposes.  So far they have been able to synthesize it and get other living things to produce the protein, such as mice (of course), silkworms, and potatoes.  [Ed. note: potatoes?!?  Would you eat glowing potatoes?]

What if they can cause humans to produce it?  Wouldn’t it be weird if we could make our butts light up?  🙂

aerosols reduce global warming

In an online discussion of global warming and whether or not man caused it, I found something interesting :

Between 1961 and 1990 (actually it’s more like 1940-1970), there was not a cooling. There was a halt of global warming. There is evidence that this was caused by aerosols. However, it is difficult to prove with any certainty.

And think about this — in the 1990s, the government started banning aerosols.  (That might’ve helped the decline of the ’80s “big hair” debacle.)  So when aerosols went down, global warming increased.  If that correlation is true, then I’m going to start spraying aerosols to offset all this global warming!  Now, to some of you, that may sound boring, but that means you’ve never sprayed an aerosol towards an open flame such as a lighter.  You have an instant flamethrower.  I’ve always wanted to build a flamethrower.  I might also look into building a jetpack based on the burning of aerosols.  That way I could get around quickly and save the environment!

Yep, I think it’s time for the Buffet o’ Blog Research & Development department to start building a flamethrower and jetpack using aerosols.  Both of these products would sell on their own, but if they’ll reduce global warming, then they’d sell like hotcakes (or better, even).  I wonder what Al Gore will think about this?  Maybe I’ll make my own movie and make millions…