Tag: rambling

the special days of March, pt 1

As we have done in previous months, we will look at the special days and holidays of this month.  Since it’s March, I reckon we’ll focus on March’s holidays.  🙂  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  Not only do we list the best of the unusual and strange and obscure holidays, but we add our own unique commentary and analysis.

Let’s start with looking at the month-long celebrations and observances.

  • Music in Our Schools Month — I think students should be exposed to different types of music, like with Music Appreciation classes.  But make it fun.  Too many people know only the “Top 40” stuff on the radio.
  • National Frozen Food Month — This may sound like a bachelor’s food only, but there are now some nice frozen foods, like lasagna, which are really good.  Mmm… lasagna…
  • National Noodle Month — Speaking of lasagna…
  • National Nutrition Month — I’m not sure if this should be the same month as National Frozen Food Month.  Also, I figure this would be January, when everyone is starting a diet and trying to eat healthy.  By March, most of us have given up.  (Maybe they want renewed emphasis on nutrition…)
  • National Peanut Month — Peanuts are good by themselves, but add chocolate, and they’re even better.  Or you can have something with peanut butter and chocolate, like Reese’s, which are excellent.

The only weekly celebration worth mentioning is:

  • 2nd Week National Bubble Week — A good idea for bubbles is to blow them over cubicle walls at work and act like you don’t know what happened.  Another good office prank is to rip a bubbly fart, but you surely don’t want to get caught for that one!

Now let’s look at the individual day holidays and observances:

  • 1 National Pig Day — Since most people don’t keep pigs as pets, I reckon it’s best to celebrate them by eating sausage, bacon, and ham.  Mmm…
  • 2 Old Stuff Day — Uhh… what?!?  I reckon you should be thankful for antique cars and such things.  This day ought to make the Important Evil Genius happy, because he supposedly has a rather large collection of antiquated old relics that he plans to build a doomsday device with.
  • 3 I Want You to be Happy Day — I really do want you to be happy, every day.  That’s why I publish this great blog — to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.  🙂
  • 3 If Pets Had Thumbs Day — According to some scientists who believe in evolution, this would make animals a lot closer to humans.  But that’s silly. In fact, this whole day is silly.  What’s the point of it?
  • 3 National Anthem Day — If this is for the national anthem, there’s already a holiday or two where that is traditionally sung and/or played.  But perhaps this means we should each have our own anthem this day.  I’ve always thought it would be awesome if we each had our own theme song.  It could play when we get to work (although that might reveal your lateness to your co-workers) or when we walk into a meeting at work.  Of course, we’d want the option to turn it off, for when we needed to be in stealth mode.  But I think this could be really awesome.
  • 4 Holy Experiment Day — Uhh… what is this for?  I’ll figure out something.  How about on this day you try to live a completely holy life.  Although, if you’re a Christian, you should be trying to do that every day.
  • 5 Multiple Personality Day — Isn’t that normally considered a disorder?  If so, why are we celebrating it?  It can be confusing to have multiple personalities, so I recommend against it.  Besides, if you want to add or remove parts from your current personality, you can do so without adding the disorder.
  • 6 Dentist’s Day — I appreciate dentists, but I’m not going to celebrate this day.  They already make plenty of money, plus I don’t want to go to the dentist any more than I have to.
  • lasagna6 National Frozen Food Day — This would be a good day for lasagna.  Mmm…  Of course, there are other options, like Hot Pockets, and there are some frozen desserts that are pretty good.
  • 6 On this day in 1912, Oreo cookies went on sale for the first time.  Now we might take them for granted.  But imagine eating your first Oreo, then discovering how good it is with milk.
  • 8 Be Nasty Day — Why is this a holiday?  We shouldn’t ever be nasty.  There’s a place for joking amongst friends, but we shouldn’t ever be nasty.  (I could come up with better holidays than this…)
  • 9 Employee Appreciation Day — Employees should definitely be appreciated.  This would be a good day to give everyone the afternoon off, or to let them leave early, or to at least buy their lunch.  If this day is on a weekend, it should be observed on the following Monday.
  • 9 Panic Day — This is just stupid.  If there’s a reason to panic, then panic, but don’t schedule it!
  • 9 Daylight Saving Time Begins — We’ve discussed this before, and we decided it should be changed to better accommodate the average working person.  I really don’t like losing an hour of sleep, nor does that help productivity the following Monday.  There is a better way…
  • 10 Middle Name Pride Day — This is good if you have a good middle name, but some people may not.  Also, it’s a good time to learn why you were given the name you got.
  • 11 Johnny Appleseed Day — This is to honor a man who planted and sold a lot of apple trees some 200 years ago.  He lived a simple life, and he was a deeply religious person.  And, if you’re curious, that wasn’t his real name.  I didn’t know you could be famous for planting apple trees…  He has become a legend in some ways.  I need to figure out how to become a legend, other than planting trees.  Perhaps someday this blog will be legendary.  If my blog traffic continues to grow at its current pace, eventually the whole world will be reading it.  🙂

This post is getting really long, so I’ll continue the list tomorrow.  (There will be a link above this post to the next one.)

celebrity voices for car navigation systems

This isn’t a new thing, but it’s the first I’ve heard of it.  One company is now offering celebrity voices as an add-on to your in-car navigation system.  The first ones chosen were Mr. T, Burt Reynolds, and Dennis Hopper.  They didn’t get a great review in this article, so perhaps the company didn’t do enough with them.  I could think of some really cool uses for their voices, but, as “real life” tends to interfere with what would be cool, some people would get offended and want to sue, so they probably have to limit what can be done.  Maybe they should offer some different rudeness settings, from “Bring It!” to “Please be gentle because I’m a wuss”.  Then again, my idea of settings to be politically correct wouldn’t be politically correct.  *sigh*

This second article explains why having your navigation system joke with you and use unusual accents is bad.  This is obviously overreacting, as long as the celebrity voices are optional.  People can use them if they can handle it.  If it doesn’t work for them, use the standard boring voice.  I tell ya, some people are just looking to get offended, even on others’ behalf.  *sigh*

In the latter article on being offended, someone said:

Even though we all realize that a car’s navigation system is a computer, our brain still responds to anything speaking to us as if it were a person.

Really?!?  Are you sure?  I think that’s stupid.  Because my wife’s vehicle has a navigation system in it, and I never confuse it with a person.  Nor do I treat it as a person.  Actually, I usually either ignore it or turn it all the way down, because I’m a man and don’t need directions!  🙂  But if it sounded like Mr. T, I would listen to it for the humor effect.

I don’t know who these people are that confuse a computer with a real person.  If this actually happens, there shouldn’t even be verbal directions, because they might think someone is in the car with them, and so they might panic and run off the road.  I know, that sounds silly, but so does their premise of confusing the voices.  And if you’re going to account for the possibility of human stupidity, then there’s a LOT of scenarios to consider.

it’s December but it’s not winter yet

The other night we got some freezing temperatures here in Arkansas.  And I heard someone saying it’s about time it started feeling like winter.  It is December, after all.  But did you know it’s technically not winter yet?  It doesn’t start under December 22 at 12:08 AM CST.

So this means that many states in the northern U.S. are getting several feet of snow in fall / autumn.  Go figure…

So why is it December 22?  Well, I could confuse you with some scientific research about solstices and equinoxes and diurnal movements and such, but that’s not really necessary, is it?  Our winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, which is when winter “starts”.  But wouldn’t it make more sense if that was in the middle of winter?

I know, some people will say you can’t change the times of winter because that’s the way it is and it’s documented all across textbooks and stuff.  Well, astronomers removed Pluto from planet status really easily, didn’t they?  Besides, schools like for textbooks to be updated so they can rip students off by not buying back their previous textbook (which was new) and charging $60 or more for a new one that has a few words different.  Although, having gone through that myself a few times, I don’t want to promote that.

Rambling aside, perhaps I should become a world-renown scientist and make some common-sense changes to how things are defined in the scientific world.  I’ve got a lot of ideas…

the special days of November, pt 2

Here’s part 2 of our analysis of the special holidays in November.  Now on to the individual days that are holidays in November :

  • 2 Look for Circles Day — Uhh… who thought of this?  But I reckon some people care about this sort of thing, so I’ll help you get started.  oOoOoOoOoO  🙂  Actually, when you look for something specific that we tend to overlook like a certain shape or color, it helps you see things differently.  So it might not be such a bad idea after all.
  • 4 National Candy Day — It seems odd to have this a few days after Halloween, when everyone eats all kinds of candy, but so it goes.  Obviously, you should eat lots of candy this day.  Have fun!
  • 5 National Donut Day — Since this is an important holiday and stuff, you should go all out.  I recommend visiting a Krispy Kreme store that makes the doughnuts (donuts) there, and get one that just came off the conveyor belt.  Trust me on this — it’s awesome.  It’s so soft and sweet, and it almost melts in your mouth.  Also suggested is to get some chocolate-filled donuts.  Mmm…
  • 6 Marooned without a Compass Day — I’d recommend you not attempt this — it may turn into more than just one day.  Who thinks up these things?  Perhaps it was some bitter sailor who was stranded on an island for a long time, living with monkeys and eating coconuts, and he wants others to relate to his plight.
  • 7 Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day — This one is self-explanatory : EAT IT.
  • 7 Hug-a-Bear Day — They didn’t specify whether this is about teddy bears or real bears.  But for your own safety, you should limit this to your teddy bear.  And also for your own safety, you should do this only when you’re at home… by yourself… and then only if you must.
  • 13 Sadie Hawkins Day — I don’t know if anyone still celebrates this or not, but I found out some interesting trivia about it.  It started in a cartoon by Al Capp in the 1930s.  In the cartoon, the mayor of Dogpatch was desperate to marry off his ugly daughter.  So he created this day, where single women chase single men.  The men are given a short head start, and if the woman catches her man, he has to marry her.  I don’t recommend participating in this one, for obvious reasons.
  • 13 Mom’s and Dad’s Day — What?  They’ve already got major holidays, each.  So what’s the point of this?
  • 15 Great American Smokeout — This is a day to quit smoking.  You don’t have to wait until this holiday, though. Smokers should stop TODAY.  I realize it’s difficult, but the grace of God can empower you to overcome it.  (Sorry for the momentary seriousness.  Consider it a public service announcement courtesy of Buffet o’ Blog.  Besides, if smokers quit, it will make the world a better place.)
    teddy bear in grass
  • 16 Have a Party With Your Bear Day — Didn’t we just have something like this on the 7th?  I glanced online to see what was said about this day, and it’s kinda shocking : “What a swell day it is going to be!  You get to have a party.  And, you get to spend time with your Teddy Bear.  I bet you can’t think of anything that is more fun!!  Get out the party banners and balloons.  Make a cake.  Send out the invitations.  Invite all of your teddy bears, and your human friends, too.  Let them bring their teddys along.  Today is going to be a fun day.”  Uhh… are they serious?  I bet I could find quite a few things more fun than serving cake to a teddy bear.  But to each their own…
  • 17 Homemade Bread Day — Now here’s something good!  If you haven’t ever had freshly baked homemade bread, you are missing out!  While it’s baking, it creates a great aroma that fills your house, making everyone hungry.  Some of you may be thinking, “It’s just bread”, but don’t dis’ it until you’ve tried it.  And here’s the day to try it.
  • 17 Take A Hike Day — Sounds reasonable.  But wait until you’ve finished reading this and left a comment.  🙂
  • 17 World Peace Day — I think some countries didn’t get the memo.  It’s a noble idea, but it needs more promotion.
  • 19 Have a Bad Day Day — Who thought of this?  I refuse to participate in such tomfoolery!
  • 20 Absurdity Day — Maybe this is the proper day for farting into the phone during a conference call at work.  It would certainly be absurd and illogical.  And then you could tell your boss why you did it, that it’s for a holiday and it makes the workplace more festive and stuff.
  • 21 False Confession Day — I’m building a life-size replica of the Death Star.  And when I get bored, I build suspension bridges in my backyard.  Oh, and the laws of physics don’t apply to me.
  • 22 Thanksgiving Day — You know about this one already.  Give thanks for all the blessings God has given us, including the great freedoms we enjoy in America.  Oh, and of course we should be thankful for turkey and dressing, ham, mashed taters, macaroni & cheese, sweet tea, pecan pie, chocolate chip cookies, etc.  🙂
  • 23 Buy Nothing Day — This holiday is always the day after Thanksgiving, but retailers seem to have not gotten the memo.  Maybe it used to be the case, and that’s why there’s all these huge sales.  This day is also known as Black Friday.
  • 25 National Parfait Day — A parfait is a dessert made of several layers of different flavors of ice cream, among other things.  I’m not sure of the best place to get one, but if you don’t know where to buy one, just eat some ice cream, and you can layer in some Oreos with it.  Improvise if you have to.
  • 26 National Cake Day — Eat cake… lots of cake.
  • 30 Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day — Ahh, an excuse to not work.  That’s all you’ve got to say for me!  This is a good idea, I think.  Sometimes we need a day off of work just to relax and do fun stuff.

There you have it.  November has lots of special days, something for everyone.  Now I’ll end my rambling.  Any of you reading this are encouraged to share your thoughts, opinions, or analysis in the comments section.  Surely you’ve got some thoughts on all this…