Plants play an important role in preventing global warming, because they absorb carbon dioxide (CO^2) and convert it into oxygen via photosynthesis. Well, I’ve heard that global warming is on the rise because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. So this obviously means that plants aren’t doing their job. I mean, that’s the main task of plants, right? I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to eat them (although animals do, which is important, I reckon), so their main purpose of existence is to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.
Since plants obviously aren’t fulfilling their basic life requirements, it’s time to take action. I’m going to start suing greenhouses and plant outlets who are selling us defective plants and shrubberies and trees. You may think this is crazy (and maybe it is), but hear me out. Mother Nature has taken care of Earth for thousands of years. Plants always did their job, and life continued on as it was designed to. But in recent years, there have been stores that sold us plants, some of which were genetically mutated and stuff. Obviously that’s why the plants are malfunctioning.
Someone has to hold these places accountable. I should’ve seen this a long time ago. The grass in the field behind my house grows just fine naturally, but when my yard was sodded for the first time, the grass didn’t grow well at all. Why? Because it was bought from a store. And that’s not all — my wife got some flowers from the store and planted them, and they died not too long after that. They were even watered extra beyond what the rain naturally sends, yet they died. That’s just not acceptable. That’s causing us to spend more money, and now I learned that the early death of these plants can contribute to global warming! I shudder to consider how many people buy plants and shrubberies that die before their time, and now there’s too many greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. What is this world coming to?
Buffet o' Blog 
Important Evil Genius (E.D)
I see you’ve stumbled upon another of my plans for world domination! genetically faulty plants!!! Mass dying off of plants will send the people to my warehouses to buy my almost lifelike faux-plants. they will tear up there lawns and replace it with my G.R.A.S.S. (grass replacement artificial synthetic sod) I’ll make trillions. They will chop down tree’s and by my T.R.I.E.S. (Tree replacement imitation ersatz) then once all the real plants in the world are gone then world green house gases will rise at an unprecedented pace. Only ‘I’ will have the answer… if they bow to me in submission (or pay a hefty price) the solution? real non-genetically altered plants!!! (like you see growing in the field behind your house) the world will pay dearly… and will fall to me!!! mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!
Important Doctor
I am offended by the picture of the flowers you have used. something about it ANNOYS me…
btw… I see by your post that you are a ‘flower lover’ as made clear by the fact that you want sue greenhouses and plant outlets to hold them accountable. I bet you not only “shudder” when you think about plants (aka flowers) dying before their time, but I bet you cry too!
Thomas Wayne
Hmm… two quick comments by two fraudulent people…
Why would you call someone a “flower lover” who is talking about global warming and has uncovered one of the I.E.G.’s evil plans (if he is to be believed)? Are you trying to stand up for that guy who likes flowers (who appears to be Mango-Man)? What is your angle on this, and why do you even care?
Maybe the original writer wants to sue greenhouses to stop global warming… or maybe he wants to do that and make millions of dollars… those are good reasons, I think.
Fab
Mango-Man, you should tell the writer of this post how to properly care for flowers. I hear you’re a nancy-boy flower lover. 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Since there needs to be more plants to save the environment, I’m not going to mow my yard next summer. I’ll make that sacrifice to help save our planet.
mothernatureandson
I’m not sure that you are really looking at the right places for your frusterations. I grow edible plants that humans use to cook with. I also grow and use plants for medicinal purposes. One of the factors that you need to consider when you are talking about plants that are grown and then sold is that they were never ment to be put into a place they cannot survive in. Plants grow well on their own in nature because they have several elements that together produce an enviroment suitable for living. Did you ever consider this with the flowers that were planted, you overwatered and then they died? Did you check to see if the soil was right for them, that they had the proper drainage, or even the right amount of sunlight? How about the tempature or root production? There is so much more that is looked at when planting then just setting something in its place because it looks right. Yet I would not put the blame on you because the place where you purchased your plants from did not educate you on where to plant or on how to plant them. I have actually started a blog and a website for my company to address this specific issue because when there is one person that has a question about a plant, there are many more that never ask the question, but never acutally ask it.
Buffet o' Blog Administrator
Actually, I think I have found the right place to take out my “frusterations”. This is a humor blog, where randomness abounds. (That means it’s not to be taken seriously.) I have no plans to sue plant stores. I know nothing about taking care of plants other than dirt, sunlight, water, and mowing. The rant above is all for humor purposes. I’m sorry you missed the humor in it.