Today marks one year of blogging here at Buffet o’ Blog.  We’ve come a long way from our humble beginnings, to, um, well, now.  (Maybe that’s not a good way to put it.)  Let’s move on to the statistics :

• 231 posts
• 796 comments
• 12,390 page hits
• 3,921 spam comments

Those numbers represent lots of good times.  Well, except the spam comments, obviously, but Akismet has blocked most of those.  Also, the page hits don’t count when the staff is logged in, so it’s not just us inflating the numbers.  There are actually people visiting this site, anywhere from 10 to 50 new people a day.  (You’re all welcome to leave comments, by the way.)

The staff will be going to Brick Oven Pizza to celebrate, where you can get a pizza made just about any way you want.  One of the staff favorites is the chicken/bacon/ranch pizza.  Good stuff…

I wish there was something we could do to celebrate with everyone, like giving away cookies & milk, but this is a virtual community, where we may be separated by thousands of miles.  One of the staff suggested we get a big birthday cake, use Black Cat firecrackers for the candles, douse it with gasoline, then light the fuse and wait for the explosion.  We could post a video of it for all to enjoy.  And we would, except the Buffet o’ Blog video department hasn’t opened yet.  (We do plan to open it soon, whenever we can acquire a camcorder.  We’ve got some funny ideas for homemade videos.)

Since there’s no video and no cookies, let’s take a few minutes to remember the really funny posts, and I’ll open the floor for you to share your memories.  [silence]  Don’t everyone speak at once…  [silence]  Well, I reckon there’s too many to quickly choose one.  (That must be what’s happening.)  Take your time; I’ll leave the comments section open 24/7 for your convenience.

We’ve made it through a year now, and there hasn’t been a shortage of new material.  We’ve still got lots of ideas for future posts.  Sometimes there’s a shortage of free time, but we make the sacrifices to keep this going.  It’s fun for us, and hopefully fun for you, too.  Most of us could stand to laugh more, not only because it’s fun but also because it’s healthy for you.  So come back here, because we’ll keep writing.  (Feel free to use our RSS feed to subscribe, if you have a feed reader.)  And tell all your friends.  The more, the merrier…

I was just talking with some of the staff here at Buffet o’ Blog, discussing new cars, and one guy said he wants a Sherman tank.  We got to talking about how cool that would be, and it’s not a bad idea.

New cars typically have crash-test ratings of up to 5 stars, to represent how safe they are in the event of a crash or rollover.  With a tank, you’d probably have at least 50 stars of safety.  I doubt you could roll it over if you tried, and you wouldn’t need airbags.  If someone drove through a red light and hit you, you might not even notice.  You couldn’t get any safer.  It would also be bulletproof, hail-proof, etc.  You might even be able to drive it through a tornado!

You would also gain the respect (and fear) of other drivers.  If someone were audacious enough to honk their horn at you while at a stoplight, you could turn the turret around, and their attitude would change really quick.  Of course, firing military-grade weapons at civilians is frowned upon, so you could revamp it to shoot some green glop at them, to cover their car (including the appropriate sound effect, of course).

One negative of driving a tank is that the highway department might not care for it too much, given that you could probably make ruts all over the road — even on paved roads.  But you could go off-road, too.  It would be so much better than the SUVs that are sold these days.

Now I just need to find an Army surplus store to see how much one of these would cost…

BTW, I came across a page that has pictures and a video of a someone driving a Sherman tank over a car.  I wonder what the insurance company would say about that…

If you’re interested, here’s the specs on a 1942 M4 General Sherman tank :

Weight: 29.62 tons
Length: 19 feet, 4 inches
Height: 9 feet
Armor: 0.99 – 1.97 inches
Maximum Speed: 24 mph
Maximum Range: 99 miles
Crew: 5
Armament: 75mm main gun;  3 x .30 caliber machine guns;  1 x Anti-Air Defense .50 caliber (12.7mm) machine gun;  1 x .30 caliber (7.62mm) Co-axial machine gun;  1 x .30 caliber (7.62mm) bow machine gun.
Ammunition: 97 rounds (75mm gun);  4,750 rounds (Machine guns)

I was walking through the infamous Buffet o’ Blog Research & Development department earlier today, and I overheard this phrase :

“I don’t think the world is ready yet for a computer you can pee on.”

Yep, this is from our R&D dept.  (Or would that be R&P?)  🙂

I inquired further, to see what prompted such a comment, and they were discussing using old computer hardware such as a Tablet PC and converting it to be a low-cost eBook, and converting it to run on poop.  Anyhow, whoever said the quote above is probably right.  While it would be a low-cost alternative and it would be great on camping trips, I don’t think the world is ready for that yet.  Perhaps they should just sit on that idea for a while…

At least they’re thinking outside the box, which you want an R&D dept. to do…  but sometimes they go so far away from the box that they’re like, “What box?”  🙂

I’ve been hearing a lot of people talk about some Super Bowl game today…  Is it something going on at the bowling alley?  I don’t know…  But if it’s some special bowling thing, like where you see how many pins you can knock down in 30 minutes, then your partner bowls and you see how many nachos you can eat in 30 minutes, then you keep switching, that would be pretty cool.

Or the Super Bowl could be one of those “never-ending pasta bowls” I’ve heard advertised by Olive Garden.  That could be considered a “super bowl”.  I’m all about all-you-can-eat!

Or maybe it’s referring to this show I saw part of this afternoon, called Puppy Bowl III.  It was in some sort of stadium, with green astroturf and white parallel lines painted on it.  There were various toys, and the puppies would run around, chase each other and even tackle each other.  Sometimes a man in a zebra-looking outfit would come out, blow a whistle, and say something like “illegal down” when one of the puppies pooped on the field.  It was pretty entertaining.  They also had a kitty half-time show, where they brought out this elaborate stage with lots of props.  And there were lots of people cheering.  But they didn’t call it the “Super Bowl”, so perhaps that isn’t what all the hoopla is about.  (BTW, Animal Planet has some video clips online if you want to check it out.)

I heard that some people might even skip Sunday night church to see this big game.  So it must be something really important.  I don’t know of any game that would make me skip church, so I’m feeling discombobulated about what it could be.  I just don’t know…

Oh, well…  In a way I feel like I’m missing out, since so many people are talking about it, but it can’t be better than service at church tonight.  So I’ll just have to miss this big game, whatever it is.

(Yes, I’m being somewhat facetious, if you couldn’t tell.  Except for the part about church service being better — that’s true.  And the idea of unlimited nachos and bowling sounds pretty good, too.  But not during church…)