viewer mail, issue #7

It’s been way too long since we’ve had a viewer mailbag, so here goes.  Same format as last time, where we take actual search terms that people used to find this site, and we elaborate on them.  We do this for you, y’know… to help people like you who are searching the Internet for information.  We’re always glad to share our ignorance, er, I mean, knowledge.  🙂

  • do children enjoy cartoons? — What kind of question is this?  Of course they do!  Have you forgotten your childhood?  Or were you never exposed to cartoons?  Either way, you are missing out on a great thing!  But don’t fret, for it’s not too late — you can still enjoy cartoons.  Granted, I don’t know how old you are, but that is irrelevant here — no one is too old to enjoy cartoons.  Yes, even adults should watch cartoons.  (Note that I said “should”.)  Cartoons make you laugh, they help you use your imagination, they’re typically clean entertainment, etc.  It’s a win-win situation.  I know some people don’t understand that, so they may look at you funny, but don’t let them keep you from a good thing.
  • unlimited nachos — Now this is what I’m talking about!  Where can you get this?  If you find a place offering all-you-can-eat nachos, let me know.  I don’t know why some restaurants don’t offer this option.  I’d go there, no doubt.  I know a lot of people who would go there on a regular basis, especially if they let you put whatever toppings you want on the nachos.  Somebody should make this happen…
  • make dookie urinal — I’m not sure what the point of that is…  we already have the urinal, and we already have the toilet, which together take care of your excretion needs.  So why do you want to combine them?  Are you wanting to stand up while you poop?  That could get messy real quick!
  • chuck norris vs mr t — There’s been a lot of people searching for this, and we have a post dedicated to the topic already (click here).  At that page, there’s a link to a comic strip where they fight each other, but it’s quite cheesy.  I’d like to see them really fight, but I suspect that will never happen, because some scientists speculate that it might cause the end of the universe.  I wonder who would’ve won if they had fought in their prime…  I think Mr. T’s strategy might put him at a slight disadvantage, because he tends to take the first few punches of his enemies, absorbing their best punches and then looking really mad.  (That sure intimidated some folks!)  But perhaps he would realize the danger of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick and thus be more aggressive.  But I guess we’ll never know.  *sigh*
  • “why doesn’t robin wear pants” — This has bewildered people throughout the ages, but I think the simple explanation is that he’s a wuss.  Of course, I realize that a lot of people who are wusses still wear pants, so many people won’t accept that explanation.  Other than that, I don’t know.  Why would he never wear pants?  Does anybody have a good explanation for that?
  • chance of snow this year — Yeah, there is.  Well, in most places.  Here in central Arkansas, we probably average about 1 to 3 inches per year.  That’s not nearly enough!  But when it does snow, even if it’s just a few flurries, it’s a big deal.  (I wrote on this recently.)  I’d like for us to get at least 8″ sometime, so I can build a huge snow castle.  Someday this will happen, and it’ll be awesome.  (For those of you in the northern part of the U.S., you may think that’s nothing, but if we ever got 8″ of snow here, everything would be shut down for days.  It pretty much closes everything here with just 2″ of snow accumulation.)
  • me grimlock not afraid of decepticons wa — (from the Transformers) sure was a cool character!  It’s unfortunate he won’t be in the upcoming movie.  (Although, some may argue that due to the extreme changes to the characters and the possibility that this movie will siphon big-time, it may be better to not have your favorite characters in it.  I can understand that.  I wish Soundwave were in it, but wouldn’t want to see him as an iPod, then in robot form be totally unrecognizable.)  Anyway, Grimlock was a great character.  He enjoyed being in battle and was a great fighter, and he wasn’t afraid of anyone.

Well, that’s it for this episode.  I hope we were able to help you with something…

don’t forget Valentine’s Day if you have a woman

I got an e-mail from Thomas Wayne this morning, who apparently didn’t make it to the blog yesterday, because he forgot something important.  Check it out :

Man, there was all kinds of traffic yesterday, and it seemed like everybody had flowers and balloons in they car… was there some holiday?  Me and my woman stayed home last night and ate leftovers, and she seemed mad all day, but I don’t know why.  She didn’t want to talk at all…  What was going on?  Did you notice any strange stuff yesterday?

What can he do now?

Valentine’s Day quotes

Today is Valentine’s Day, as you probably know.  All around the Internet you can find poems, quotes, quips, anecdotes, etc. about Valentine’s Day.  Well, we aren’t any different today…  🙂  Although these quotes aren’t all mushy and sappy — they’re funny and random.  (And that’s a big difference.)  Now on to the quotes!

For Valentine’s Day I sent my wife unbleached white, whole wheat, semolina and durum, and it got me nowhere!  So much for all the effort I put into sending her flours. ~ Michael Cunningham

Saw on a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

Love is like a booger.  You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day… remember: it’s not as important as she thinks it is but it’s more important than you wish it was.

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day.  When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

BTW, if you’re sad and lonely today because you’re single, it’s okay to buy yourself some chocolate.  (And it’ll probably be marked down tomorrow, so then you can stock up on it.)  It might be a good time to order pizza, too, because most couples will be going to fancy, expensive restaurants.  And go ahead and play some video games… or if you’re not into gaming (or taking a break from it), glance around the other posts here at Buffet o’ Blog, and get involved in the conversations.  It’s a good time.  (And our humor is guaranteed!)

the hair on my chinny-chin-chin

Lately I’ve noticed a couple of grey hairs in my goatee… and some of my friends are getting a few grey hairs, too.  So I’m thinking there must be something bad in the water around here, because I can’t think of any other valid explanation for this.  We need to conduct some type of city water test procedure.  It’s gotta be the water, because I’m nowhere near old enough to have any grey hairs…  🙂

goat with goateeBTW, did you know the word “goatee” is a modified version of “goaty”?  And it’s an Americanism (one of the few words we didn’t steal from other languages).  It was invented between 1835-1844.  It’s derived from “goat”, as you might imagine, because of its resemblance to a goat’s tufted chin.  (And “tufted” is a cool-sounding word, though there’s seldom a good time to use it.)  These days, few people are bothered by a goatee, but when it was first invented, it raised a few eyebrows.  In 1842, William Tappan Thompson wrote :

One chap’s … rigged out like a show monkey, with a little tag of hair hangin down under his chin jest like our old billy goat, that’s a leetle too smart for this latitude, I think.

The first recorded occurrence of the word is from 1844, in a book by Daniel Lee and Joseph H. Frost :

A few individuals … leave what is called, by some of their politer neighbors, a “goaty” under the chin.

It’s been said you learn something every day… and today it is some useless trivia about the origins of the word “goatee”.  But at least you learned something…