caption contest, baseball player getting hit in a bad spot

It’s time for the next caption contest!  Since the baseball season is now at crunch time, with several close pennant races determining who makes the playoffs in October and who goes home, I’m going to use a baseball picture.  Like always, just write commentary for whoever you want — either the baseball player, or the guy behind him, or the announcers, or even yourself watching this.

Be forewarned that this picture may be painful to see for some readers, so read at your own risk.

Remember to keep your comments clean…   Now, on to the picture.

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

the special days of September, pt 3

Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days and holidays in September.

  • 15 Felt Hat Day — On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.  That’s what this holiday actually means.  But I suspect this is an old tradition, because I don’t even know anyone who wears a felt hat.
  • 15 Make a Hat Day — Ironically, this is the same day as Felt Hat Day.  Perhaps this is when you make a new hat to replace the felt one you just put away.  Again, this seem antiquated.  Who makes their own hats?   Who even wears hats?  If I’m wanting to wear a hat, it’s to play baseball, and I’ll just wear my Boston Red Sox cap.
  • 16 Collect Rocks Day — Uhh… is this day for people who don’t have a life?   I mean, collecting can be fun, like with baseball cards or maybe even with coins or stamps, but rocks?!?   At least it would be a cheap hobby, since you can get a lot of rocks for free.  And I reckon you could build a rock garden with them, though I don’t know why you’d want to.
  • 16 National Play Doh Day — Play Doh… that sounds familiar… is that the guy who was a student of Socrates?  🙂  No, not hardly.  I know what Play-Doh is — this soft clay-like substance, where you shape it into various objects, then you throw it at your little brother.
  • 16 Working Parents Day — Working parents should get this day off work, while their kids are at school.
  • 17 Citizenship Day — I’m a citizen, so I reckon I should celebrate today.  🙂
  • 17 Constitution Day — I’m thinking the U.S. Constitution should be re-read by everyone, particularly by politicians and Congress.   We need to know what rights we have, and our government needs to protect and preserve those rights.   But as it currently is, those rights are being eroded away, and few people seem to even realize it.
  • 18 National Cheeseburger Day — This is a great use of a holiday!  Obviously, this holiday means you should eat lots of cheeseburgers.  That’s not a problem for me!
  • 18 Mushroom Picking Day — What?!?  No thanks.
  • 19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day — ARR!  This day becomes more famous (infamous?) every year.   It always made working in a corporate environment a little more fun, because several people would participate.   If only the leaders would let that kind of talk continue during meetings…
  • 19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day — I figure butterscotch pudding is good, but this seems somewhat obscure.   I like the butterscotch flavor, and I like pudding, but I’ve never had them together.  Perhaps I should research it…
  • 20 National Punch Day — Is this a day to drink fruit punch or a day to punch people?   Well, the title is ambiguous, so I reckon you can interpret it however you’d like.  I might just celebrate both!  🙂  While we’re on the topic of fruit punch, I have a quick rant.  Most Mexican restaurants now serve Hi-C instead of a real made-from-fruit punch.   What’s up with that?  If it’s Hi-C, say so in the menu, but don’t call it fruit punch.  That’s misleading.
  • 21 International Peace Day — Peace, my brotha’! We should all get along, all the time, really, but at least on this day.  So set down your weapons, put aside your grudges, and let’s drink some tea together while watching cartoons.
  • 21 Miniature Golf Day — Ah, putt-putt.  That’s one of those activities that people tend to forget about, yet almost everyone who goes has a good time.  It’s not just for kids…
  • 21 National Women’s Friendship Day (third Sunday in September) — Why do women get a day to celebrate friendship?   Do they need it?  Is there a lack of friendship between women?
  • 21 World Gratitude Day — Be thankful for this blog, which is provided to you free of charge.   You get fresh, original humor on a near-daily basis, all at no cost.  (We do, however, accept donations.  We accept cash, checks, PayPal, gift cards, cookies, and compliments.)
  • 22 Elephant Appreciation Day — Do all animals get a day of appreciation?  Apparently not, because I’ve now went through the whole year of unusual holidays, and there weren’t very many listed about animals.  So what makes elephants special?  Is it their size?  Their memory?  The world may never know…
  • 22 Dear Diary Day — Dear Diary, today I wrote on Buffet o’ Blog, and my ramblings were enjoyed by thousands of people (over time, perhaps).  It’s great that I get to share my awesomeness with the world, for free.  If only I could get paid for writing…
  • 22 First Day of Autumn — I suppose that it’s necessary to define the seasons by a set standard for record-keeping and statistics, but to me, I say it’s autumn / fall when the temperature reflects it.  If it still feels like summer, then it’s summer.  When it’s cool enough that I want to be outside during the day, then it’s fall.
  • 23 Dog in Politics Day — I don’t know… So I did some quick research, and found that it has to do with Richard Nixon’s dog Checkers.  Why his dog gets his own holiday, I don’t know…
  • 24 National Cherries Jubilee Day — WOO-HOO!  Let’s have a jubilee about, um, cherries.  I don’t get it…
  • 24 National Bluebird of Happiness Day — Once again, infamous explorer extraordinaire Burford had been mere feet from capturing the elusive Bluebird of Happiness.   The bird was walking toward Burford’s grasp, when a chimpanzee farted, scaring away the bird in a startled frenzy.  Burford usually laughs when chimps pass gas, but this time it was no laughing matter.  Burford walked over to the chimp and pooted in his face.  The chimp promptly slapped Burford’s butt and laughed hysterically.
  • 24 National Punctuation Day — It’s important to use punctuation otherwise your writing is difficult to read most businesses frown upon sloppy grammar skills thinking it reflects a lack of education they may also suspect the ungrammatical person didn’t try very hard in school so you should always use punctuation it’s really important
  • 25 National Comic Book Day — Didn’t we already have this holiday this year?  Either way, comic books should get more attention.  They tend to get a bad reputation in the media and with most adults, but they are a great art form.  Of course, some comics are stupid and/or not worth reading, just like with many TV shows and movies.  But some comics are entertaining and will even make you think.  So don’t just dismiss them without giving them a chance.
  • 27 Crush a Can Day — Why in the world is there a day for this?  I suppose it can be amusing to see someone crush a can on their head and inadvertently hurt themselves.  But a holiday is not needed for that.  Who decides which days get to be holidays?
  • 27 International Rabbit Day (fourth Saturday in September) — Is this a day to celebrate rabbits?  Or is it a day to have rabbit stew?  And do all parts of the world even have rabbits?
  • 28 Ask a Stupid Question Day — Ah, this one is interesting.  Think of a stupid question, then ask someone.  You can ask us here at Buffet o’ Blog, using our Contact Us form.  We may not have the right answer, but we can give you an answer.  🙂  I realize some people have said there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never worked in tech support.
  • 28 National Good Neighbor Day — Do we need a special day for this?  Ideally, no, but probably.  So here’s what you do — be friendly to your neighbor, ask them if you can help them with anything, or bake them some cookies.  But at least be friendly.
  • 29 Confucius Day — You’ve probably heard a lot of those “Confucius say” quotes.  He actually said some good things, if you look at his actual quotes, but you can search for them if you’re interested.  I’ll include just a few of the funny (non-quote) ones.  Confucius say man who run behind car get exhausted.  Confucius say man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.  (A word of warning to anyone in that mineshaft — if you don’t C Sharp, you’ll B Flat!)  Confucius say people who make Confucius joke speak bad English.  🙂
  • 30 National Mud Pack Day — What’s a mud pack?  Is that where women cover their face with mud and put slices of cucumbers over their eyes?  That’s silly.  Although, if you’re paying someone to cover you with mud and vegetables, that’s even more silly.  (But think of what kind of profit margin those businesses have!)

Well, that concludes our look at the special days and holidays in September.   I hope you found some that you could celebrate.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.

the special days of September, pt 2

I’m going to continue my analysis of the special days of September.   In this post I’ll be examining the holidays on individual days.

  • 1 Labor Day (first Monday of month) — Ironically, on a day all about labor, you get off work.   So that’s kinda weird, but I am definitely NOT complaining!
  • 2 National Beheading Day — WHAT?!?   I’m definitely not participating on this holiday!   Who came up with this?   This sounds un-American!  (It also sounds like it’s bad for your health!)
  • 5 Be Late for Something Day — Okay, here’s a holiday I can support!  This won’t even take too much effort for me.  🙂  You even get to pick what you’re going to be late to.  (Ironically, I’m late in posting this series this month, but it’s not the 5th now.)
  • 5 Cheese Pizza Day — Here’s another American-sounding holiday.  Even if you prefer your pizza to be topped with lots of dead animals (meats), surely you can still appreciate the yummy goodness of a cheese pizza.
  • 6 Fight Procrastination Day — Is it a coincidence this is the day after “Be Late for Something Day”?  I’m not sure what to think about this day… I think I’ll ponder this later…
  • 6 Read a Book Day — A comic book would count — it even has “book” in the name of it.   Like discussed in the previous post on the special days of September, there are all kinds of books out there, something for everyone.  Of course, the best book to read is the Bible, because it will change your life.
  • 7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day — Was this invented by the Post Office?   Regardless, I can guarantee it’s not going to snow here on this day.   But rain would be likely, whether from afternoon summer thunderstorms or the remnants of hurricanes which pass through here after going through the Gulf of Mexico.  (I’m in Arkansas, if you didn’t know.)
  • 8 International Literacy Day — If you’re reading this, you’re already literate.   If someone can’t read, then they can’t enjoy the rambling goodness that is Buffet o’ Blog, so you should read this to them until they learn to read.
  • 8 Pardon Day — Today you should grant and request pardons freely.   So if you go up to someone and rip a loud fart, you just have to say, “Pardon me”, and they have to pardon you and not hold it against you.
  • 9 Teddy Bear Day — There have been several holidays already about teddy bears, like hugging them, taking them to work, and going on picnics with them.  So why do they get another holiday?   I figure if you still hang out with your teddy bear, you already know he’s special.  And if you’ve outgrown your teddy bears, all these holidays for them are superfluous.
  • 10 Swap Ideas Day — I reckon this is where I share an idea with you, and you share an idea with me.   I’ll go first.  When you have a job interview, eat a bunch of Oreos just before you go in, then smile a lot.  That way they’ll be staring at your teeth and not your resume.  🙂
  • 10 T.V. Dinner Day — On this day in 1954, the first TV dinner was sold (by Swanson).  Nowadays, the TV dinner aisle at your grocery store is probably running over with healthy, non-flavored microwave meals.   I’m not necessarily against healthy meals — some people enjoy them — but let’s not forget that you want to keep everyone happy, and the average American adult is overweight, so we don’t care about that healthy nonsense.
  • 11 Patriot Day — This is also known as World Trade Center Remembrance Day.   May we never forget…
  • 11 Make Your Bed Day — Making your bed is overrated.  (Can I get a witness?)   If nobody is going to see your bed but you (and your spouse), why bother making it every day?
  • 11 No News is Good News Day — I’ve heard this phrase before, but it’s not always true.  Besides, if this was true, you could just never watch or read the news, thus ensuring it would all be good.
  • 12 Chocolate Milk Shake Day — Of the smaller holidays (meaning the ones you don’t get off work for), this has to be one of the best ones.   Milkshakes are awesome!   And I’m partial to chocolate and/or cookies and creme varieties.  I also enjoy them with malt added.  On this day, all milkshakes should be half price, so people can enjoy them more.
  • 12 National Video Games Day — There was another of this day on July 8, but it wasn’t national.  I don’t know the difference, but I won’t complain that there’s two!  For those of you who don’t appreciate video games, you just haven’t found the right ones for you.  There’s something for everyone!
  • 13 Chinese Moon Festival (15th day of 8th Lunar month) — This is one of the biggest annual holidays in China.  People take off work on this day and watch the moon.   This holiday even goes back thousands of years (to when they worshiped the moon).  People also make and eat mooncakes on this day.
  • 13 Defy Superstition Day — I defy it every day.   I’m not superstitious at all.   In fact, it’s bad luck to be superstitious.
  • 13 Fortune Cookie Day — I’d like to learn to make my own fortune cookies, so I could put my own custom messages in it.  As you can imagine, it would be quite random.   Here’s a few examples: “If a scruffy-looking fellow who you’ve never seen before comes up and offers you a very strange-looking raisin muffin, it’s a good idea to decline, in this instance.”  Also, “Today is an excellent day to fly a kite shaped like a life-sized pterodactyl.   Try to get it to hover just outside someone’s office window.”   You get the idea…
  • 13 National Peanut Day — Peanuts are good in a variety of foods / dishes / candy.  Right now I’m thinking of chocolate-covered peanuts.
  • 13 Positive Thinking Day — Repeat after me: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and people like me.”
  • 13 Uncle Sam Day — Uncle Sam is getting old.   He was born in 1813.  Actually, I haven’t heard from him in a while.   Is he still alive?
  • 13 Scooby Doo’s Birthday — The Scooby-Doo cartoons premiered in 1969.  Scooby and “those meddlin’ kids” solved a lot of mysteries.   Those original cartoons are classics.   The newer ones just aren’t the same.
  • 14 National Pet Memorial Day (second Sunday in September) — Hmm, a memorial day for your pets.   I don’t think this is necessary, but to each their own.
  • 14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day — I’m all about a chocolate-filled donut!   Mmm…

As is usual on these special days lists, this is getting long, so I’m going to finish the list in the next post.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.

the special days of September, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.   As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.   But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.   This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.   And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in September:

  • Classical Music Month — I know, some people equate classical music with elevator music or new age music or Yanni, and that’s not accurate at all.   Some of it jams.   I’ve heard someone say, “People who don’t like classical music just don’t listen to it loud enough.”  There might be some truth to that.   Also, don’t forget that a lot of your action movies have classical music in them.  Take notice next time…
  • International Square Dancing Month — I’m not much into square dancing, but if it’s your thing, more power to ya.  But I do have one bit of advice which I heard on Lester “Roadhog” Moran’s album Live at the Johnny Mack Brown High School: if you change partners, be sure to change back!  Failure to revert to your original partner can cause some “disagreements”, as evidenced on Roadhog’s album.  AWW-RIGHT!
  • National Courtesy Month — Courtesy can be applied to many areas, so this is a good idea.  If there’s only one piece of fried chicken left, it’s good courtesy to offer it to me.   Or if you’re in a multi-stall public bathroom, a courtesy flush is much appreciated.  I could go on, but you get the idea…
  • National Chicken Month — Speaking of fried chicken…  There’s a lot of ways to cook chicken that is excellent.   Of course, you can’t go wrong with fried chicken.  There’s also Mexican Chicken, which is my favorite dish.   Mmm…
  • National Piano Month — More focus on music — I like it!  The piano is my favorite musical instrument.  This would be a good month to go hear a live performance, like at a local college or university, or if a professional artist is in the state.  Or if you’ve always wanted to play, start taking lessons.  (I do offer lessons, but even if you don’t learn from me, it’s a great skill to develop.)
  • National Honey Month — Supposedly honey is the only food that never spoils.   Whether that’s true or not, I just know that I like honey, especially on some warm rolls…  Mmm…
  • Self Improvement Month — Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we encourage people to laugh more, which is a form of self-improvement.  The world really needs more laughter.   If you want more meaty forms of self-improvement, check out my other blog.
  • Better Breakfast Month — I’m all for this!  Now, some health nuts may argue that this means eating a healthier breakfast, but that’s not the case here.  If that’s what the holiday’s creator wanted, he/she should’ve called it Healthier Breakfast Month.  But it’s “better”.   And the definition of “better” includes “superior to another in desirability”, which for me, would mean more bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy, chocolate milk, etc.  There’s no need to even debate this, as far as I’m concerned.   🙂
  • National Rice Month — Most of the world eats rice on a regular basis, particularly those in poverty.  So please take a few minutes to play the Free Rice game to donate rice to those in need.   Remember, it costs you nothing but a few minutes.
  • Read-A-New-Book Month — If you don’t like reading, you just haven’t found the right books.  Even if you read humor or comic books or scientific books or historical books, there’s got to be something you’d enjoy.  Plus, reading is good for you: it stimulates (exercises) your brain, plus you learn things you didn’t know before.   And it’s good to learn, so you’ll be less ignorant.   🙂

Now let’s look at the week-long observances in September:

  • 2nd Week: International Housekeepers Week — I wish I had a housekeeper, so I didn’t have to ever do dishes and clean the bathrooms…
  • 3rd Week: National Farm Animals Awareness Week — Most of us don’t see farm animals very often anymore, at least in live form.   So when you’re eating farm animals this week, be thankful and appreciate of how tasty they are.
  • 3rd Week: National Flower Week — I know who this is for…  🙂
  • 4th Week: National Dog Week — Dogs are much better than flowers, at least to most guys…  🙂  With women, that might be debatable, although it shouldn’t be.

This list is getting considerably long, so I’m going to break it up into several posts.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.