I know that most of the regular readers here at Buffet o’ Blog are guys, and some of them are married, so those of you who fit that category know that sometimes your wife is in a bad mood. It can happen for a number of reasons. Maybe it’s that time of the month (PMS); maybe the house isn’t decorated enough yet; maybe her husband is lazy and slacks a lot; maybe her husband wasn’t enthusiastic enough about doing the chores (even if he agreed to help); etc. There’s a lot of reasons this scenario could happen — too many to list here. But you most likely know what I’m talking about.
So what should the man of the house do in this situation? If you tell her she’s in a bad mood and why she shouldn’t be, that probably won’t help at all, and it may make matters considerably worse (so beware, because you don’t want her to have an “emotional meltdown” or “emotional explosion”). Another option would be to ignore her attitude. Men are naturally good at compartmentalizing things, so this is somewhat natural. But your wife probably won’t like this response either. You could try hugging her and listening to her, and sometimes this is the right thing to do, but if you’re the source of her frustration / anger, then that won’t help any.
So sometimes there is no good solution. But you shouldn’t just ignore it, so men need some way to express their displeasure with the situation, so she’ll know that you do not approve of the environment at that time. One possible solution would be to fart and belch as loudly and as often as possible. She won’t like this, but perhaps she will begin to associate these things with her bad mood. An association of that sort would make her want to avoid that situation, which is what you want.
This is really basic psychology principles here. (My psychology teachers from school would be so proud! I learned that sometimes you need to just rip a big fart to help motivate others to deal with their problems.) If I may make a small disclaimer on this, I will say that I haven’t personally conducted experiments on this yet, but logically it should work. Feel free to share your success stories in the comments section, so married couples may benefit of your testimony and make their marriages happier. And then the world will become a better place… 🙂
Buffet o' Blog 
persistentillusion
“One possible solution would be to fart and belch as loudly and as often as possible.”
Are you kidding??
Seriously, please read David Deida’s “The Superior Man”. Do it fast before any belching or farting commences. It can’t possibly end well.
I love how you reference a woman’s moods like they are these ephemeral things with no reason. It is true that you can’t REASON with a woman in a bad mood, but you can meet her emotionally. David Deida explains it better.
Dr. Phil
i bet if you tried to fart, but instead [crapped], that would lighten the mood. c’mon, [being a woman] must be tough.
[edited by Moderator — please keep it clean]
Thomas Wayne
I can see this discussion becoming a debacle real quick. Let me paste a couple of sentences from the “About” page :
“This blog is meant to be humorous. (Hopefully that’s obvious!) So don’t take it too seriously.”
Also, the sub-title above is supposed to be a clue also.
Oh, and sometimes a woman’s moods seem to have no reason. Sometimes women don’t even understand why they feel bad. I can’t comprehend that…
Not a Psychologist, but stayed at a Holiday Inn Express
My favorite approach to dealing with the irrational emotions of the female kind is to calm them down with a chemical sedative. Obviously, trying to deliver said sedative yourself while the lovely lady is in one of these moods is hazardous to your health. So I use a blowgun. I keep a pygmy from Borneo on retainer for just this occasion.
Fab
The pygmy from Borneo thing is still hilarious, even after 3 1/2 years.
Fab
“I keep a pygmy from Borneo on retainer for just this occasion.”
That has to be the funniest line I’ve read in a long, long time.
Famous Artist
My dear blogger friend, I’d like to share a story with you that I think may shed some light on your hypothesis for treating women’s moods. My husband once tried to reveal his displeasure with my “emotional meltdown” by employing your methods listed above. I threw him out the window.
Dr. Phil
you sound like a very scary woman. was it an open window?? not a car window, i hope?
DDave
Bet you’ve been dumped!
Thomas Wayne
Poor Mr. Famous Artist! I hope you also threw out his video game system (and remembered the games and accessories). 🙂 If not, he can come stay with me for a few days until things return to normal.
BTW, it sounds like your “emotional meltdown” was more of an “emotional explosion”… but I suppose it doesn’t matter either way.
Famous Psychologist From a Far Away Land:
Either this will work seamlessly or it will get you thrown out of your house (quite literally sometimes). Of course this is only my clinical opinion, I have no first hand experience from being married to an explosive artist.
PS. HELP ME!!!!!! There’s no video games and it’s starting to rain! 😉
Famous Artist
Warning: first person to touch the Wii gets thrown off the roof.
Thomas Wayne
I know the Bible says something about a man being on the roof of his house when his wife is contentious / quarrelsome, but that’s not always convenient, like when it’s too hot or cold or rainy. So y’all in that situation can come hang out with me for a few days. I’ve got a Nintendo Wii, and we won’t tell Famous Artist where we’re at. 🙂
Sumbul
I need more information on bad mood and frustration not beeing in a relationship
Sumbul
Modd swings
Sigmund Fraud
May I suggest the subtle art of creative ignoring? What you do is you look straight at (through) your wife and nod as if you’re paying attention when in reality, you were concentrating your considerable brain power on eating the Bacon Explosion or the Bacon Weave. This way, you’ll be smiling and (seemingly) listening to and affirming your wife. If this doesn’t work, may I suggest you do as Not a Psychologist, but stayed at a Holiday Inn Express does and keep a pygmy from Borneo on retainer for accurate use of the blow gun complete with tranquilizer darts filled with happy juice. 🙂
I read it in a newspaper, it must be true
The tranquilliser of choice is vodka – I try applying to her first, if no success, I apply to me. Fairly soon I find out what the problem is…. “I’ve got a problem with…. BLAH …. And all you can do to help is get drunk” – is how it usually starts. And if you don’t find out the problem – who cares??? You’re toasted!
It worked on all my six previous wives too.
Important Philosopher
The irony of the advice in the post is that you’re using illogical methods to combat illogical emotions. So at least you’re fighting on a level playing ground at that point. 🙂
FARS
women,,women,,women,,,,after 5 years of marriage,,,,i started TO HATE WOMEN,,,,,,,
localamos
It’s bad enough this she looks at me as though I’m stupid… Now you advice me to fart? Oh come on!
Thomas Wayne
There is more than a pinch of irony in the post above… it’s funnier if you can find it. 🙂
Dr Flame
Haah! Why is this only happening when married? You know what I’v e noticed is that when there’s visitors staying over the moods disappear, and I take advantage of that. Women are just silly cause they know are weakness as men, is lack of emotions. “Emotions” is a very powerful tool.
Important Philosopher
Some guys at lunch today were discussing this very topic, wondering if farting could help solve the world’s problems. Of course, when dealing with women this could cause more problems. So someone said, “Obviously you need to fart more!” But then the whole situation can spiral out of control, with irrationality flowing freely, and no one knows what the original problem was. Although, sometimes that just gets you back where you started in these cases… so it becomes recursive, where the solution is part of the problem, or vice versa.
Thomas Wayne
I have a friend who found a woman who appreciates his farts and actually joins in. I remember the first time she ripped one in front of him on purpose, he told us, “She’s the one!” And they did get married and have been together over 13 years now.
Apply that “research” to the post above and real life however you wish… 🙂
albert kaplan
as my experience show, the only way to boost her mood is by showing that you don’t know she is in a bad mood.and you act normally. If she start screaming let her talk and listen quite till she finish then reply with sorry. Even you are right say sorry.and when she is calmed down explain her your side of view .its works wonderfully!!