I’ve heard there are some people who are vegetarians, meaning they don’t eat meat. How can this be? I’ve heard some propaganda that tried to convince me to become one, but it was stupid. Can you imagine giving up steak for carrots? Bacon for broccoli? Ham for cauliflower? Sausage for asparagus? Chicken for celery? No way! Just the thought of that would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable.
When did this rigamarole get started? Mankind has always eaten meat. We’re supposed to eat meat. Just the smell of someone putting burgers or steaks on a hot grill seems right. That smell instantly makes me hungry for that. And if I’m not the one grilling, it makes me kinda jealous… You certainly don’t get that same effect if you grill some vegetables. People would look at you funny, wondering if you know how to cook on a grill.
Mmm… look at those tasty radishes! Wouldn’t you rather eat that than shrimp? Ugh! Maybe you’d rather give up lobster for artichoke. Whatever… I mean, look at the name of artichoke — does that sound like a food? It sounds like something that might kill you!
Anyway, I could go on talking about how silly it is to be a vegetarian. But I’ll tell you a real-life testimony of how crazy it is. I had a friend who fell victim to that propaganda, and he tried it for a few weeks, then decided he didn’t need to wear deodorant anymore. I became concerned for him, because obviously he was losing his mind. He eventually came to his senses, fortunately. We have to watch who we’re listening to. There are even some celebrities who believe this nonsense. For example, Pamela Anderson has been quoted as saying, “The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet.” What in the world?!? Obviously she’s lost her mind, because that makes no sense whatsoever.
Buffet o' Blog 
nadia a
It sounds like you have never actually read about the ethics concerning vegetarianism. I encourage you to read Henry S. Salt (He influenced Gandhi…Gandhi did eat meat at one time…) for starters. That is real vegetarian ethics, not just PETA sensationalized crap. I am a vegetarian (vegan for lactose allergy)…but I am not a PETA supporter! 🙂 I have only been a vegetarian for a couple of years, and before that I ate meat at every meal and hunted and helped slaughter our ranch-raised animals. My family (the one I grew up in) is actually in the meat industry business.
Some things should be cleared up here :
a) meat as a tempting food choice is purely subjective and it can (and usually does for most vegetarians) diminishes when you don’t eat meat. Also, it is not in our nature to eat meat. Many Buddhists ( the strict vegetarian ones) who grew up not eating a single bit of flesh actually despise the smell of it cooking and would not fathom eating it…just as you have trouble fathoming that vegetables can be delicious.
b) for a lot of vegetarians, including me, it is a matter of ethics. I am a pacifist, and do not wish to take a life of an animal if I cannot help it. Just like I would not wish to harm a fellow human being unless it was self-defense on grounds of my life being threatened. So when I can get my nutrients from non-animal sources, I will do that…if I am in a place where I cannot (such as a place like a small, remote island or in an Inuit village)..then I would have to weigh my options and may have to change my mind at that point.
Also, resource waste plays a large part in the rationality of whether or not to become a vegetarian. The future water crisis is real. According to a report by Cornell University, “more than half of the U.S. grain and 40% of the world grain is being fed directly to livestock rather than being consumed directly by humans”
-Animal protein requires more than 8 times the fossil fuel than plant protein.
Also, being a vegetarian and not wearing deodorant is completely unrelated however, it is true that many vegetarians want to be as natural as possible, and that may include not putting aluminum zirconium from deodorants on their glands that are able to soak up chemicals. I am not sure if any cancer link has been proven, but some do think it is better to be safe than sorry.
But anyways, this is getting long-winded and I didn’t want to seem like I’m lecturing, so I”m sorry if this comes off a little dry 🙂
If you did want to check out the cornell report (it encourages only consuming grass-fed livestock, it doesn’t directly encourage vegetarianism)… it is from ’97, but according to the UN Crisis report, it has gotten worse since China is acquiring a taste for burgers and steaks. http://www.news.cornell.edu/releases/Aug97/livestock.hrs.html
If you want, I encourage you to check out my blog. On the side of my page, I have a list of influential people that were either flexitarian, vegetarian, or vegan. Don’t worry, I don’t support the views of PETA supporters throwing red paint on fur or harassing establishments (like KFC) that serve meat 😉
I love open debates, so feel free to comment about anything on my blog, even if you don’t agree with it (actually, especially if you don’t agree, because that way I’ll be exposed to a viewpoint other than my own which will lead to a better understanding of both of our worlds 🙂
nadia a
you know what, I just read your about section and saw that your blog is meant to be humorous. I probably should have read that before lecturing, I just assumed your rhetoric was the run-of-the-mill “vegetarians are crazy” stuff that I hear a lot of on other blogs.
So, please accept my apologies for my lecturing if your post was meant to be a type of satire…if it wasn’t meant to be a satire, than my lecturing was real 🙂
Thomas Wayne
‘Tis satire, indeed! Although, for me, it’s very much true. If I ever had to choose between meat and those radishes pictured above, I would choose meat 100% of the time. To do otherwise would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. 🙂
To each their own, though…
Fab
Plus, if you’re eating grain, grass, or plant fed animals, you’re actually eating only vegetables, in a round-about sort of way. It’s much tastier to do it that way, too. 🙂
tmad40blue
What you don’t get about vegetarians is that we don’t only eat vegetables. That’s totally untrue – I eat all the junk food I want as a vegetarian; I just don’t eat meat.
Vegans are crazy unless they have an allergy.
Thomas Wayne
tmad, that makes it sound a little better. But to never eat steak, chicken, ribs, bacon, sausage, etc., I cannot fathom it. (And I can fathom a lot — I dream all the time — but giving up meat is inconceivable.)
I like how Fab explained it — the animals can eat the plants, then I eat the animals. It’s much tastier that way.
I’m thinking about becoming a meatatarian, meaning I don’t eat vegatables… 🙂
Ciera1383
“Im thinking about becoming a meatatarian, meaning I dont eat vegetables…”
I am a “crazy vegan” and I would love to know how your “meatatarian” lifestyle works out for you. I forsee nutritional deficiencies in your future, and lots of sickness. Oh and count never moving your bowels into that future too. Those disgusting vegetables/fruit/grains/beans/etc are where you get almost all of your nutrients, fiber, vitamins, and minerals. Meat is nutritionally inadequate to sustain life (solely). So anyway good luck with that.
Thomas Wayne
The animals eat the plants, then I eat the animals. They turn those “nutritional” plants into meat, which I then eat. It makes sense to me…
I sometimes eat vegetables, like fried squash, or potatoes (in many forms). And I might put a tomato on my burgers. And I eat banana pudding, which contains fruit. So I don’t eat only meats.
BTW, I may not be the most in-shape person (though I am a shape), but I really enjoy eating, probably more than almost anyone else… 🙂
Super-Hero Wannabe
I’m looking for a Captain literal costume. Perhaps then I can dedicate my life to helping people (Ciera1383 in particular) take this blog way too seriously. 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Super-Hero Wannabe, I see your point, but don’t you think those people are already too good at taking this seriously? Maybe someone needs a superpower that helps people loosen up a bit so they’ll quit getting offended so easily.
Our politicians really need some help with that, because most of them have NO sense of humor whatsoever.
Super-Hero Wannabe
Maybe I need a Super Slacker costume to help folks ease up every chance they get. Oh, wait, I’m wearing one now! 🙂
This may be a lost cause for these veggie victims. How can people loosen up a bit when they’re so hungry for some solid nourishment? If they’d eat some steak or bacon, I guarantee they’d be feeling better and not take things so seriously. Plus, bacon is good for blood circulation, or so I’ve heard. 🙂
jc cox
Well, I’m pretty sure the smell of Human steaks grilling would be just as good. But I’m pretty sure that would repulse you and you wouldn’t eat it.
How could someone be a vegetarian??
This is how: