Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we want to serve the community, to bless people by making them laugh. But we also want to help people along the way, perhaps by dispensing nuggets of wisdom or expertise. And we know just about everything there is to know, so we are more than qualified to help people. (And what we don’t know, we don’t know about, so maybe we really do know everything. Who knows?) Since we have this wealth of knowledge, we have decided to share some insight based on what you, the reader, want to know. Since we don’t have a mailbag yet, we will choose some of the recent search terms that people used to find the site and we’ll offer friendly advice and suggestions based on them. Let’s get started…
- I want to buy some potato salad — I would not recommend buying this online. Surely you have relatives who make this. And, really, I’m not sure we’re even supposed to eat such things. I’ll defer this to our resident nutriticologist, who is an expert in such matters. (See the comments section for his response.)
- dookie brown — I have no idea what you intended to find with that query. However, we do sell dookie-brown sweaters, and we have numerous informative posts about toilets, diarrhea, constipation, hypnosis to soothe irritable bowels, etc. I hope you find what you were looking for.
- air conditioning side effects — The important thing is that the A/C keeps the room cool, because it is crazy-mad hot outside. We do have a post about putting laughing gas in the A/C intake vent, which would be a neat side-effect.
- In promulgating your esoteric cogitation — So you want a group of people to share their inside jokes and thoughts, huh? Well, we do that. Peruse the site for a few days and you’ll find numerous such things, where we share homemade quotes and inside jokes. We feature a world-renown buffet of randomness, free for your consuming pleasure.
- shrink ray gun — Ah, now we’re getting to something good! This is a highly-coveted item, I must say. There are so many potential uses for such things. Not only are they good for self-defense, but they are also a blast at parties! At this time, we do not sell these, unfortunately. There’s some legal nonsense about that. But there’s nothing to stop our local R&D department from developing these cool toys. And so they are hard at work developing several versions of them. We’ll have a pocket-size version, to carry with you on the go, and we’ll also have a high-powered version to mount on the back of your vehicle. (Rumor has it that the top-secret version 2.0 model will also transform into a robot that can be programmed or controlled via remote control.) We also have a mad scientist who visits the site, Mr. Destructo. He’s finishing his doctorate at the Mad Scientist Academy, so he’s very busy, but he could probably help you if you have any questions.
That’s all we have time for today. There’s a lot more in the search term mailbag, which we’ll get to at a later time. I hope we have helped you find what you were looking for. The Internet is a big place, with over 8 billion webpages, so searching for answers can be overwhelming. We will continue to provide this valuable service for free, to help the community. So stay tuned…
Buffet o' Blog 
Important Nutriticologist
As far as potato salad goes, if you ever encounter any, the most important thing to remember is DON’T EAT IT!! It’s not food, and it’s not even dead. Potato salad is, in fact, un-dead, evil and out to destroy the world. It is both the leading cause of zombie-ism and serious stomach injury in the world.
Potato de Sofa
Potato salad is so evil, I resent the use of the word “potato” in its name. Plus, its just hard to understand how someone could do that kind of evil to innocent potential french fries. Oh, the shameful waste and mistreatment!
Thomas Wayne
I am offended by the use of the word “potato” in the name. Who can I sue?
Mighty Hunter
I think you are ALL wrong! Salad is okay in my books… why? you may ask… it’s a simple trickle down theory… if we didn’t have all the green lettucy foliage & such vegetaion around us… animals would have nothing to eat… & therefore i’d have nothing to SHOOT… so YES… I vote in favor of SALADS… I just don’t necessarily eat ’em myself… (I guess the argument could be made that I eat ’em ‘indirectly’… har har) & DON’T argue with me boy… I got a gun… Har Har…
Shootin’ stuff is fun!!!
~Mighty Hunter
Thomas Wayne
Mighty Hunter, I contemplated your argument, but there’s a big flaw in the slaw. The problem is not the “lettucy foliage & such vegetation” around us — that’s fine, it’s for the animals to eat. But then your argument goes into the “toilet of logical stupidity”. We are discussing POTATO SALAD, which does not naturally exist in nature. I think it’s some type of man-made alien non-life form (in that it’s un-dead). Let the natural shrubberies and vegetation exist for the animals, then we’ll eat the animals. But potato salad is not to be tolerated. Do you want to be destroyed? Of course not. So we must not tolerate potato salad. Remember, it is evil and out to destroy the world. And your gun won’t kill it, because it is un-dead. This is a very serious issue, and you would be wise to leave your stupidity out of it.
Important Linguist
Upon careful analysis of the previous comments, I have come to the conclusion that Mighty Hunter missed one key word–POTATO!
While I’m utterly opposed to the human consumption of most vegetables, there are a few that are quite delightful–of which potatoes are chief. Now to morph these roots o’ delight into a concoction that can only be described as a horrible waste of food (there are starving children in Africa, don’t ya know), is beyond evil–it’s an abomination. Stop the madness!!! Potatoes are good in many ways as these spuds o’smiles are quite versatile. But their use in potato salad is blasphemous.
Tater Salad
Say What?! Potato Salad is ‘evil’? I fear that the Important Nutriticologist has needs to take some more on-line courses in nutrition. Potato ,or in the southern U.S., ‘Tater Salad’ is one of the most healthy substances known to man. For instance, taters provide 1/3 of a person’s daily vitamin C. Also, eggs are used and hence are good for you as well considering eggs provide the necessary protein, thiamin, riboflavin, zinc, and other good stuff. AND IT TASTES GREAT!!!!! I had a grandmother who made tater salad without mustard or other nasty stuff (like tater salad from the store, I HATE tater salad from the store).