new cookie dough technology

This morning some of my co-workers expected me to get to work by 8:00 AM, so I didn’t have time for a fair and balanced breakfast.  That meant no cereal and certainly not anything more elaborate.  I didn’t want to skip out on breakfast, because it’s one of the three most important meals of the day.  cookieFortunately I found some raw cookie dough in the fridge.  Of course there wasn’t time to cook it, but it turned out that this was some of that new “slow-bake” cookie dough.  Now, by the name, you might think it would take longer to prepare, but the irony is that it’s much quicker.  See, it bakes at 98.6 degrees.  You don’t have to wait on the oven to preheat, because your stomach is already preheated to this exact temperature.  So you just eat the raw cookie dough, and nature naturally takes care of it for you while you go on about your business.  It’s quite convenient!

BTW, of course I had milk to go with it.  You’ve got to have milk with chocolate chip cookies!  It was 2 percent milk.  (Yes, that’s because I’m overweight.)  Hopefully these were some specially-formulated low-fat cookies.  I didn’t have time to read the nutritional info on the package to verify this, though…

how cereal makes me smarter

This morning I had cereal for breakfast.  This may not seem newsworthy, but this isn’t a news service.  🙂  I had Cocoa Dyno Bites, which are the “generic brand” equivalent of Cocoa Pebbles (and are also part of a balanced breakfast).  What makes this event special is that it was the last bowl of the bag, which means it was extra-chocolatey.  And so it was extra delicious.  (Those of you who have experienced this will understand.)  I wonder if the nutritional info applies to the last bowl also.

The Dyno Bites don’t come with a toy, but they give you more cereal for a cheaper price, and it tastes about the same.  Not that I need a toy (especially one in the less-than-$1 range).  But there is that saying, “Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.”  But I still choose cereal based on flavor, which is based largely on the amount of sugar and chocolate in it.  This confirms what I already know — I have not yet reached middle age.  I plan to stay in the “young adult” range for a while.  (I also plan to live forever.  You may laugh, but so far so good.)

There’s also another quote about middle age that I know of : “Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.”  The broadness of the waist has started happening already, but my mind continues to broaden.  In fact, my knowledge continues to grow exponentially.  (That means a LOT, for those of you who aren’t sesquipedalianists or who dislike obfuscation.)  So obviously that proverb doesn’t apply to me, either.  I sometimes wonder if there is a limit to how much knowledge the human brain can store.  I doubt anyone has ever reached that limit, if one exists.  But I’m aiming for the world record of most knowledge accumulated by one person in memory.  I’m well on my way already, and I haven’t even reached middle age yet.

You may now be wondering what all this has got to do with cereal (or did you forget about the cereal already)?  Nothing, really.  It just shows how many neural and synaptic connections can be made off any random point, due to the immense storehouse of knowledge and stuff.  I also wonder if it’s possible that one can increase their randomness quotient by increasing their intelligence…  I’m not sure yet, but I will continue my personal research in this matter (and then I will know even more!).  See, I can start talking about eating the last bowl of my cereal and then come up with original theorems / postulates / hypotheses in the same article.  Sometimes I amaze myself with all these cognitive acrobatics.  The randomness continues to flow, more than this post can contain.

(BTW, I realize some people may think this is pure rambling, but consider if it just might be the essence of distilled wisdom.  And maybe next time you’re eating cereal you’ll start to expound on various truths and such.  It’s a good time.)

walking hitters with the bases loaded

On Sunday, there were two major-league baseball games where a pitcher walked a batter with the bases loaded.  Cubs relievers walked the bases loaded, then hit the next guy to bring in the winning run in the 11th inning.  And Yankees reliever Scott Proctor issued two walks with the bases loaded — to tie the game, then to give away the lead.  And both teams proceeded to lose the game, as they should when walking someone with the bases loaded.

Why do managers let this happen?  I know I’m not alone in thinking that it’s never a good idea to walk someone with the bases loaded.  I’d pull any reliever who already walked two in an inning.  But if a pitcher walked someone with the bases loaded, I’d pull him immediately.  There’s no excuse.  It forces in a run.  Even if you have to throw it down the middle, there’s at least a chance that the hitter will miss it or hit it at someone.  But when you walk them, the chance of them scoring is 100%.

Here’s what a manager should do.  He should keep himself in shape, practice his pitching, then when a reliever implodes on the mound again, walking people with the bases loaded, the manager should go to the mound and demote that guy to Triple-A right then and there.  He could act like an umpire, making the motions for “You’re outta here!”  Then replace his spot on the roster with yourself.  Proceed to pitch out of the jam and tell your reliever, “This is how it should be done!”

If the manager is just too old to pitch, he could arrange to have someone in the stands behind their dugout who he knows can pitch.  When you pull your pitcher out of the game, go grab that guy out of the stands and bring him into the game, putting him in.  And of course don’t let anyone know that you rigged it.  This way it’ll look like you just pulled a random person out of the stands who can pitch better than the guy you just took out.  That’ll teach him to walk people with the bases loaded!  Plus it’ll create lots of publicity for yourself and the team.

You can be like spidey!

With all the hype around the recent release of the new Spiderman movie it’s clear that many of us wish that we had Spiderman like powers. well now you CAN! check out this (admittedly graphically challenged yet fun) ‘Spiderman-esqe’ game called double wires that I found on the web. Now anyone can be spider man! (costume sold separately) Try it HERE