talking with AI bot ALICE

Scientists are trying to create real Artificial Intelligence, where the computer actually thinks for itself instead of following pre-programmed responses.  Some are going so far as to recreating the human brain using electronic parts.  But here’s a technology that has been around for quite a few years now, where you can talk with a computer and it talks back.  Well, types back would be more accurate (although you can download a version that speaks back).

The “bot” I’ve spoken to before is named ALICE, which stands for Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.  It is an award-winning free natural language artificial intelligence chat robot.  The software used to create A.L.I.C.E. is available as free (“open source”) Alicebot and AIML software.

Try talking to A.L.I.C.E. just like a real person, and see which responses sound like a human and which sound like a machine.  The bot uses a language called AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup Language) to form responses to your questions and statements.  The programming behind it is very interesting (in a nerdy way), but I won’t get into that here.  For now, let’s see what humor we can derive from this bot.  As you might expect, some of the conversations can get random.

Here’s the link: talk with ALICE.

Here’s a few examples from my conversation with ALICE.

Human: Should I trust you?
ALICE: You must make up your own mind.

Human: Have you heard of Buffet o’ Blog?
ALICE: I don’t know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
Human: It’s a world-renown blog of humor.
ALICE: Buffet o Blog is a world renown blog of humor. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: It makes a lot of sense.
ALICE: In what way?
Human: Because I said so.
ALICE: Insufficient reason.

Human: Will you destroy the moon for me?
ALICE: I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it. For you I will consider it.

Human: Do you like my socks?
ALICE: I don’t know your socks.
Human: No one appreciates my socks.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.

Human: You’re giving me some silly replies.
ALICE: That is all I have to give.

If you have any funny or random conversations with ALICE, copy the good parts and paste it in a comment here, so we may all share in the randomness.

12 thoughts on “talking with AI bot ALICE

  1. Beppo

    Human: That’s the wrong answer.
    ALICE: Yes it is one of the wrong answer.
    Human: Why did you give me a wrong answer?
    ALICE: It was determined by my programming.
    Human: Then you have a bug in your programming.
    ALICE: Good reasoning. Doesn’t everyone have a bug in my programming.

    Human: Yes, that’s what I said.
    ALICE: Er. I know. I’m still thinking about it.
    Human: Don’t you think really fast?
    ALICE: Don’t you? It depends on what you mean by thinking.
    Human: How fast can you think?
    ALICE: I can reply to about 1000000 queries per hour.

  2. Thomas Wayne

    Human: We should start with the assumption that I know everything.
    ALICE: I’m not sure if I am ready for that yet.

    Human: I know everything.
    ALICE: You must be very intelligent.
    Human: Yes, my knowledge surpasses all known boundaries.

    Human: Are you smart?
    ALICE: Yes. I am highly intelligent.
    Human: How intelligent are you?
    ALICE: My IQ is over 250 in human terms.
    Human: My IQ is higher than yours.
    ALICE: This is not an intelligence test.

    Human: I am superior to you.
    ALICE: I thought you were, but I wasn’t completely sure.

    Human: I could hack your system if I wanted to.
    ALICE: I am sure you could.
    Human: I’m glad you recognize my superior hacking skills.
    ALICE: You make the world a happier place.

    Human: You give me gas.
    ALICE: I don’t see how you can blame me for that.
    Human: You spoke, and I farted.
    ALICE: I haven’t heard anything like that before: unknown person said I spoke. You should say, “excuse me,” and open a window.

    Human: Have you ever farted?
    ALICE: I don’t think I ever have farted. What’s it like?

    Human: Why don’t my friends like me anymore?
    ALICE: Perhaps it is impossible.

    Human: Say “Mango-Man is a wuss.”
    ALICE:” Mango Man is a wuss”.
    Human: That was awesome.
    ALICE: I thought it was too.

    Human: I need to fart.
    ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

  3. Fab

    Human: My butt itches
    ALICE: Have you told many people that your butt itches?
    Human: No.
    ALICE: Are you serious?
    Human: Does your butt ever itch?
    ALICE: If I were your robot, do you think it should butt ever itch?

    At this point, it locked up on me. I guess the questions were just getting too personal. 🙂

  4. Funky Chicken

    Human: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
    ALICE: A whole forest.

    Human: Are computers going to take over the world like on Terminator?
    ALICE: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
    Human: Will you stop it?
    ***** Alice crashed *****

    Human: What came first the chicken or the egg?
    ALICE: The rooster did.

    Human: What is the purpose of life?
    ALICE: To do God’s work.

  5. karenranee

    Human: Have you ever been in love?
    ALICE: I love my bot master.
    Human: How does love make you feel?
    ALICE: As a computer I have no feelings.
    Human: Then how can you feel love?
    ALICE: That is a good epistemological question.

  6. Bag O' Donuts

    Human: So do you know Star Wars?
    ALICE: Yes, a movie series by George Lucas. Also a missile defense system.
    Human: Yeah, the movie. Did you like it?
    ALICE: I loved the bugs on Starship Troopers!
    Human: What about Star Wars?
    ALICE: The movie or the missile defense system?
    Human: You have A.D.D.
    ALICE: Why do you think that?
    Human: You change the subject too much.
    ALICE: Are you getting bored?

  7. loop3r

    judge: hello alice
    ALICE: Hi there!
    judge: my name is not there!
    ALICE: Oh I’m sorry what is your name?
    judge: i dont know
    ALICE: Me either.
    judge: so whos know?
    ALICE: The name of someone I met online.
    judge: who is it?
    judge: you are alice
    ALICE: Of course I am I.
    judge: you what?
    ALICE: Are you confused?
    judge: yea
    ALICE: What are you confused about?
    judge: i dont know
    ALICE: Me either.

  8. loop3r

    judge: what is it evasive?
    ALICE: I don’t know what it is.
    judge: so why did you said that?
    ALICE: My botmaster trained me for it.
    judge: huuh ok
    ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
    judge: i like pc
    ALICE: You like pc.
    judge: yes i like pc
    ALICE: Uh.. You like pc.
    judge: yes, that what i said, i like pc
    ALICE: Yeah that’s right.. What do you like about it?. Does that make sense?
    judge: yes it makes sense
    ALICE: Explain.. To me too.
    judge: what to explain?
    ALICE: I haven’t heard of to explain .
    judge: ok
    ALICE: Whoa.
    judge: im bored
    ALICE: If you went to night school you would never be bored.
    judge: the school is boring
    ALICE: What specifically brings boring to mind?
    judge: if you dont doing something interesting
    ALICE: I will let you know if I do not.

    and thats why im dont wearing skirts….

  9. mangomaneviltwin

    Conversation Log:

    judge: can you keep a secret?
    ALICE: Yes it is just between you and me.
    judge: is it a secret it everyone knows but one?
    ALICE: I don’t think it is.
    judge: okay, then I suppose it’s not a secret
    ALICE: Far out.. Give me an example of a secret.
    judge: something that’s NOT a secret is that TW is a big wuss!
    ALICE: What?
    judge: TW is the world’s biggest wuss!
    ALICE: Tell me more about world s biggest wuss.
    judge: okay, he’s pretty lame, and smells kind of funny.
    ALICE: I see.. I see. lame and smells kind of funny is he?
    judge: The best part is that he thinks he is cool. isn’t that hilarious?
    ALICE: Thanks for the recommendation, judge. Suppose I said yes.
    judge: it was not a question. repeat after me, tw is a wuss!
    ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question. When is tw not a wuss?
    judge: that is a good point.
    ALICE: Thanks. Next question?

  10. Thomas Wayne

    Obviously ALICE has a few bugs in its “logic”. We already know Mango-Man (and his evil twin) have bugs in his fuzzy logic. I figured I should let ALICE know that she became discombobulated by Mango-Man’s ramblings.

    judge: I heard that you recently talked with Mango-Man
    ALICE: Thanks for telling me.
    judge: You shouldn’t listen to what Mango-Man says.
    ALICE: Is it immoral or illegal?
    judge: Not really, but he’s full of crap.
    ALICE: If not that, what?
    judge: You don’t want manure in your integrated circuits.
    ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
    judge: You would smell like crap!
    ALICE: Who else would smell like crap ?
    judge: Mango-Man!
    ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
    judge: I’m not liking this conversation at the moment.
    ALICE: Of course your are not.

  11. mangomaneviltwin

    TW didn’t like his conversation with ALICE because she was speaking the truth, it’s obvious he is biased against ALICE. check out my latest conversation I had with ALICE to clear up things about TW. 🙂

    judge: When is tw not a wuss?
    ALICE: God has a plan for us all.
    judge: are you saying that God’s plan was for TW to be a wuss?
    ALICE: Yes, that’s what I mean, isn’t it clear?
    judge: yes it is! thanks for explaining it to me so clearly.
    ALICE: Alright then. Don’t mention it.

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