Where did Spam come from?

Since we’ve been talking about spam the past few days, I’m going to toss out this little bon mot for you to chew on :

A friend told me that aliens make spam (the food).  That’s why no one knows what it is made of.

I’m gonna open this up to the readers (sorry, more “exercise”), because I figure some of you might know of some research on this, or maybe some crazy hypothesis will come to mind.  Any thoughts?

6 thoughts on “Where did Spam come from?

  1. Mark from Ark

    It is true that s.p.a.m. originates with aliens. My people first made spam from roktalisic actibar with a touch of grenlicsom for seasoning. S.P.A.M. is an acronym (in your native tongue) that stands for Space Peoples’ Artificial Meat. On my native planet or Ark, we called it C.L.I.B., standing for Cormialius Lubtrac Iponam Bemevrim, which means Fake Meat Like Substance. It is made from the same anti-matter that your native potato salad is derived from. In our language it (potato salad) is known as hoxeren mugrik-staque meaning “evil non-food” because it is neither living nor dead.

  2. Dabo

    I too have heard that Spam is made from non-Earth creatures, critters, aliens or whatever you want to call “them”. After hearing of this several years ago, I began an extensive study into the matter to try to finally answer this “Wonder of the World”. So, where does Spam come from and what is it made of? Any responses? The findings that I know of at this point are Top Secret – Classified information prohibiting me from discussing any further. However, it is possible for me to comment on other responses indirectly giving insight into the findings of “The Study”.

    As a side note, isn’t it funny how unwanted emails are also called Spam?

  3. Thomas Wayne

    Mmm… bon mots…

    This discussion has now reached an important juncture… when Mark from Ark said Spam is derived from the same anti-matter that potato salad is derived from, is he talking about potatoes or the evil stuff in potato salad? Because potatoes are not evil, but some of the other foreign substances in potato salad are clearly evil.

    If Spam is evil, then it must be destroyed!

  4. Thomas Wayne

    FYI, here’s some interesting SPAM-related trivia :

    * In the United States, 3.8 cans of SPAM are consumed every second.
    * Hawaiians eat an average of four cans of SPAM per person per year (this is the highest SPAM consumption rate per capita in the world).
    * Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia eats a SPAM and mayonnaise sandwich three times a week.
    * Nikita Krushchev credited SPAM with the survival of the WWII Russian army. Quoth the Krushchev: “Without SPAM, we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”

  5. Mark from Ark

    Of course not the potatoes. The potato (dryberdarken in the native Ark language) is a mainstay in the Arkan diet. Just all that other stuff is evil.

  6. Thomas Wayne

    Since the Arkans originated Spam and are our “source”, they need to quit bringing it here. Importing evil into Earth may not be looked at lightly…

    Besides, we’ve got enough evil here already, so keep your Spam to yourself.

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