Do you know how to defuse a ninja?
You’ve probably never thought about that, but what if you suddenly find yourself in one of those movie-like situations where you have to fight a ninja one-on-one and there’s nowhere to hide? What would you do?
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Buffet o' Blog 
Fab
Chemical weapons might do the trick. I would release a gas into the atmosphere that would cause the ninja to flee for his life. Its smell would resemble the smell of cantaloupe that had been rotting in a trash can in the hot summer sun for a week. That might work, yeah.
Beppo
Fab, I think that would work for someone of your talents. But fortunately, not everyone has active gas on command. I would point behind him and yell, “IT’S CHUCK NORRIS!”, and while he turned to look, I’d run away. And he’d have to look, because Chuck Norris can beat up anybody, except maybe Mr. T. (Now, whether I could run long enough to get away is a question that I don’t want to discuss, so we’ll just leave it at that…)
someone
you could always start acting like a monkey… not only will this confuse your enemy. but the fact that you’re actively flinging ‘dung’ at them should dissuade them from any further measure…
think about it… who wants to grab hold of an individual whos hands have are covered in dookey…
Fibonacci Man
First of all, don’t ever hang out around alleys that have a lot of fog in them – ninjas really like to hang out there because they typically have problems with their sinuses drying out easily (I’m not sure why, at this point).
Second, ninjas really like rice, especially steamed rice. So, you should always carry a bunch of steamed rice in your pockets. In the event that ninjas surround you, you just whip out some rice and chopsticks and offer it to them. (It could be that they’re attacking you just because they are hungry)
After that, you just hang out and eat with them, telling stories in broken English. Ninjas love stories.
Fibonacci Man
Oh, I forgot to mention that I once diffused a ninja using a simple electromagnetic device.
Alice Jolie
I am just trying to order a blouse – have I been misdirected to a wrong website?
Alice Jolie
*(Angelina’s ‘less hot sister’ – whatever – at least all my parts are natural!!!… and no, her name is not really Angelina – it’s just Angie…)
Mango-Man
I think it’s a good idea to alway carry a full-length mirror with you… that way when the ‘inevitable’ ninja attack comes… you just whip out your mirror and put it in front of you…that way the ninja see’s his reflection & thinks you are a ninja as well… this distracts the ninja & he and goes on the defensive against the mirror… as you are hiding behind the mirror you turn 180deg & begin to run/walk/me-ander away… the ninja will never know because as everyone knows it’s never a good idea to take your eyes off a ninja…
Beppo
Some of you might think you’ll never be in such a situation, but I was watching TV tonight, and during a commercial some guy was just trimming his hedges and a ninja showed up in his yard! The guy was caught completely by surprise. Fortunately this was a friendly hedge-trimming ninja, who helped him out. But if the ninja had actually attacked this man, it would have been a debacle.
I think the commercial was for Progressive. And it shows that you just never know…