This morning I was eating some sausage balls as part of a balanced breakfast, and I thought about how they’re part of 3 of the 4 main food groups (as considered by many). It covers meats, dairy, and grains. All I needed was fruit and vegetables, which I could’ve added by drinking some orange juice, but I opted for egg nog instead. Who knew sausage balls were so healthy? (FYI, if you’re not familiar with sausage balls, they’re becoming a holiday tradition in these parts; they’re made from Bisquick, sausage, and cheddar cheese.)
I was later discussing these nutritional “facts” with the “Important Doctor” that visits this site, and he suggested that mayonnaise is part of the meat group. This seemed strange (which is normal coming from him), but he explained it thusly : Mayonnaise is made with eggs, and eggs come from chickens, which are made of meat; once a meat, always a meat; so if you make mayonnaise from meat, it’s part of the meat group. I suppose that makes sense. But I’ve never heard that anywhere else before.
I reckon that means my egg nog is also in the meat group… so I’ll consider it a protein shake. 🙂
You learn something every day…
Buffet o' Blog 
D-Prime
Speaking of food groups (sausage balls), I was thinking, then, that you should try adding some A-1 steak sauce to your egg-nog or to your mayonaisse (sp?). After all, they are really meats. Bisquick, on the other hand, should be outlawed from use in sausage balls because it sets up in your bowels like concrete, which is not meat, or any food group of any sort. Which would lead me to the question – is Bisquick really concrete? I may try building a simple adobe hut with bisquick and twigs to see if it will hold up to the elements…maybe put a little shellac (sp?) on the outside. Wow! That would be cool! A house made of “edible” sunstance. Maybe they could use that in third-world countries? They’d have a nice, warm (I think the insulative qualities of Bisquick would be substantial) hut to live in. Then, if the food supply is low, they could just take a hunk out of the wall and slap some jelly on it and chow down.
Thomas Wayne
Talk about eating yourself out of house & home! 😮
HairFro
Would the “Important Doctor” also conclude that mascara is of the meat group? Should we be including mascara as part of our balanced diet? Also, what about milk? Hmmm…I wonder what a Mascara Mayo Milkshake with Oreos would be like.
Thomas Wayne
The (self-proclaimed) “Important Doctor” seems to be on hiatus — perhaps his license to practice got revoked (or was found to have never existed). So I will answer your question, HairFro.
Mascara is most definitely NOT part of the meat food group. To be part of any food group, a basic requirement is that it be a food. Mascara is not a food, by any stretch of the imagination. It really is that simple.
I reckon milk would be part of the meat food group… so a milkshake is somewhat like a protein shake. So I reckon I should drink milkshakes every day as part of my bodybuilding routine… (This blog is awesome!!! I learn so much helpful stuff!)
Important Doctor
I’d like to take this opportunity to explain my lack of response to this question.
1) it was a stupid question
now I’ve heard the old adage about no question REALLY being stupid… but in this case it is.
and i’ll tell you why. As TW pointed out for mascara to be a part of the meat group it would have to 1st and foremost… be edible!
mascara is most definitely edible and furthermore mascara is made from bat quano… which if you look up what bat guano is made from you will find it is actually bat POOP… that’s right! POOP!!!
why would you EVER want to eat poop?!? so now I hope you understand my silence on this subject. you were comparing MEAT… to POOP!!! what an outrage!
futhermore TW milk is NOT part of the meat group it is dairy! Dairy products are obtained by collecting the excretions of a member of the meat group (note: this does NOT inclue poop or urine) however oddly enough sweat in some circles* are included in the dairy group.
*this are VERY small circles
Thomas Wayne
Uhh, “Important Doctor”, you just said: “mascara is most definitely edible”. I don’t know anyone else who believes that, so apparently you’ve done your own “research” into this… and about that, I have to say GROSS!
I see where you tried to explain why no one would eat mascara, and those are valid points, but your Fraudian slip tells more than we need to know about you.
I always suspected you were a fraud, but now your credibility has been permanently damaged!
Important Doctor
okay… obviously my response has been tampered with! some people will stop at nothing to try and discredit the experts in their field of um… expertise.
obviously that line was to read “mascara is most definitely NOT edible” I think I made it clearly clear in the remaining post that I am blatantly against comparing meat (edible and tasty) to poop (non-edible and one would assume not tasty)
Thomas Wayne
Like I said before, that was one of those Fraudian slips. Trust me, I know all about psycho-therapy!