talking smack without backing it up

The competitiveness of sports leads to some great smack-talking sometimes.  You may not hear it as much on the professional level, but sometimes it’s there.  Today we got to witness that, at the 2009 Wimbledon.

To set up the story, Roger Federer played Robin Soderling in the final at the 2009 French Open less than a month ago.  Before that match, Soderling had joked with his coach that nobody beats him 10 times in a row, because he was 0-9 against Federer.  As you know, Federer won that match fairly easily.  After the match, Soderling told everyone about that conversation, even saying it to Federer, and then joked that nobody beats him 11 times in a row.  Which leads us to today’s match, where they met again.

Soderling’s game translates better to grass, so one would expect this match to be closer.  The score was close, even though Federer won in straight sets.  I’m curious what Soderling will say this time…  🙂

the special days of June, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in June:

  • Candy Month — This is a good one to start with.  The best way to celebrate candy is to eat it!  So choose whatever you like, such as candy corn, candy bars, etc.
  • nachos (click to enlarge)Dairy Month — Dairy products include milk and cheese and ice cream.  That would also include chocolate milk, nachos / chip-n-dip, and milkshakes.  And this holiday / celebration lasts all month!  I can get excited about this one!
  • National Adopt a Cat Month — Doesn’t this seem kind of mean?  If you adopt a cat for a month, feeding it, playing with it, then you take it back to the pound or just release it into the wild — isn’t that mean?  Did someone create this as a secret way to treat cats badly?  I’m not going to participate in this one.
  • National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month — Who comes up with this?  I’m boycotting this holiday.   Besides, meat is a better meal than vegetables — even the Bible tells us that.
  • flowersRose Month — There’s a certain reader here who will appreciate this one.  (He also gets a kick out of this particular picture, for some reason.) 🙂
  • Turkey Lovers Month — Shouldn’t this be in November, because of Thanksgiving?  But I reckon people already eat lots of turkey then, so whoever created this wants us to eat it at other times.  I wonder if this was created by people who sell turkeys for consumption…
  • Great Outdoors Month — More outdoors, less work.  (Although, if you work outdoors, you might want a holiday for staying home to watch TV or play video games.)
  • National Iced Tea Month — This is what I’m talkin’ about!  Since I already drink tea on a regular basis (and you should too), here’s how this should be celebrated : all restaurants offer tea (both sweet and unsweet) for free for the whole month of June.
  • National Tennis Month — Tennis is an excellent sport!  Everyone should play.  It’s even fun if you don’t understand the rules and just want to hit the ball hard at each other.  🙂
  • Potty Training Awareness Month — Let’s face it, if you aren’t potty trained, you should be aware of it if you’re older than 2 years old.  If that’s you, the people around you are certainly aware of it!  I don’t think we need a holiday for awareness of this.

Now let’s move on to the weekly celebrations:

  • Week 2 — Email Week — Send a personal e-mail to all your friends.  And remember that you can use our Contact Us page to ask any question whatsoever.  I’ll be your friend.  (Sing with me: “Won’t you be my neighbor?”)
  • Week 4 — National Camping Week — Camping can be a good time.  Go out in nature and “rough it” for a few days.  Catch your own food and cook it over an open fire.  Sleep under the stars.  Or do like many people do — take a camper to sleep in, where you have a toilet and a real bed.  That’s not really “roughing it”, but it can still be a good time.  It’s refreshing to be out in nature, away from civilization.  Take some time away from technology, like TV, cell phones, the Internet (unless you’re out for several days and need to keep up with the latest randomness at this blog).  🙂

This is becoming a long list, so I’ll continue it in the next post.  Click here to search for the other entries for June.

the special days of February, pt 2

We now continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances in February.

  • 9 Toothache Day — I will pass on this one!
  • 11 Don’t Cry over Spilled Milk Day — You shouldn’t ever cry over spilled milk, so I don’t know why there’s an individual day for it.
  • 13 Get a Different Name Day — This is the time for you to go by your favorite nickname or alias.
  • 14 Valentine’s Day — This is the day when florists raise the price of roses by a few hundred percent, and when your wife / girlfriend expects red roses and chocolates and a card.
  • 15 Singles Awareness Day — I imagine singles are plenty aware of their singleness after Valentine’s Day, so this holiday is totally unnecessary.
  • 17 Random Acts of Kindness Day — The key here is that the acts of kindness are random.  There are a ton of possibilities here.  For example, you could give someone a pet turtle; just leave it on their desk at work.  Pets make people happier, I’ve heard.
  • 18 President’s Day — Some of the famous presidents already have their own holidays, so this is for the presidents that you don’t remember.  I don’t know what you should do to celebrate, unless it means getting off work.  Unfortunately, most companies don’t observe this one.
  • 19 National Chocolate Mint Day — Your actions this day should be obvious : eat foods with chocolate mint.
  • 20 Hoodie Hoo Day — According to my research, you are supposed to go outside at noon to shout “Hoodie-hoo!” to scare away Winter and make way for Spring.  Um, is this for real?  Apparently there are people who actually meet to do this.  To each their own…
  • 22 Be Humble Day — I try to be humble, but it’s difficult when you’re this cool…  🙂
  • 22 International World Thinking Day — This is a holiday celebrated by the Girl Scouts and other girl groups.  On this day, they should set aside some time to think about things.  🙂
  • 23 International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day — Your dog probably already appreciates them plenty, but what about you?  This day, you should eat a dog biscuit or two so you can fully appreciate them.  I know, this is unconventional, but trust me — it’s a good time.  It’s best to do this with some friends over.  I guarantee there will be some laughs.
  • 23 Tennis Day — Tennis is an excellent sport and is a great source of exercise, but this should be in the spring, I think.  The weather in February might not be too cooperative for outdoor sports.
  • 24 National Tortilla Chip Day — Eat tortilla chips.  Note that cheese dip goes extremely well with tortilla chips.
  • 27 No Brainer Day — By definition, a “no brainer” is something that’s simple, easy, obvious, and/or logical.  So on this day, you should only do simple stuff, like eating and sleeping and watching TV.  For those things that require thinking, you shouldn’t do it today.  So obviously you shouldn’t be working this day.
  • 28 Public Sleeping Day — Work is in public, right?  🙂
  • 29 Leap Day — As you know, this day occurs once every four years.  I happen to know someone who was born on Leap Day, so she has a birthday only every 4 years.  That’s kinda neat.  I think businesses ought to give their employees the day off on Leap Day, since it’s a bonus day.  It should be like an extra Saturday during the weekend.  Someone should make this happen.  If we have to work on the extra day of the year, we should be paid extra.  It makes sense to me…

Well, that’s all, folks.  Tune in next month for the next one.  Wait, actually, you should tune in every day, because there’s all kinds of funny, exclusive content here on this blog.  That way, you won’t miss anything.  So just bookmark the homepage (click on the name in the logo at the top of the page to get to the homepage), and tell your friends.  See you next time!

crazy excuses by professional athletes

Professional athletes are known for making excuses why they lose or don’t perform well.  Here’s a couple of funny ones.

Chuck Nevitt at North Carolina State was nervous in practice, and his excuse was : “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”

British soccer coach Alex Ferguson talked his way out of a speeding ticket by explaining that he had diarrhea and that made him be in such a hurry.

Latrell Sprewell was griping about his contract for $14.8 million per year, saying, “I’ve got a family to feed.”  I just don’t know how someone can live on that…

Pitcher Greg Harris said he got an elbow injury that put him on the disabled list because he was flicking too many sunflower seeds during games.  Maybe he should work out more…

A British shotputter failed a steroids test and said it was because of drinking shampoo.  Uhh…

There are a lot of excuses out there and this could go on for a long time, but in closing I want to share one that has to be near the top for being random, creative, and stupid.  This is from a tennis player who lost to a hated rival in 1992 :

“Musumba Bwayla is a stupid man and a hopeless player.  He beat me because my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves he farts, and that made me lose my concentration, for which I am famous throughout Zambia.” ~ Lighton Ndefwayl

I wish I could’ve seen the reaction by the reporters and journalists in the room when he said that.  That is just a classic quote!