The other day I went to Larry’s Pizza, and I wondered if I should get a salad. Now, before you judge me, hear the rest of the story. I realize that the official Buffet o’ Blog stance on the salad bar at Larry’s Pizza is that it’s there just for decoration. I understand that and agree wholefartedly. But this was a unique visit to the restaurant.
Accompanying me on this pizza quest was my wife, her mom, and her sister. Predictably, they all got a salad to go with their all-you-can-eat pizza. (Ironically, it’s impossible to eat all-you-can-eat pizza if you also eat a salad, since you’re wasting calories on greenery.) Anyway, I am trying to lose weight (which is why I intentionally limit my trips there). Also to consider is that it’s important to try to make a good impression on the in-laws. Even though they know me by now, I still may be judged for what I do and don’t do, which can make life more complicated.
So now you understand my dilemma. Obviously I don’t want to get a salad, and I especially don’t want to eat one there. (I don’t know if their salad bar is good or not — I honestly have never looked at it closely. All I see there is pizza!) Of course my options were to either get a salad or not, but there are potentially even more options. So I figured I’d put out a poll where you can vote on what I should’ve done. I’m just curious what the general populace thinks on such issues.
Your vote is anonymous, and after you vote it will show you what the current tally is.
As you know, bacon makes almost everything better. And for most guys, salads need quite a bit of improving. ThinkGeek.com has just what you need (again): Bacon Flavored Croutons. Here’s an excerpt from the site:
Bacon Croutons – Salads just got cool
Bacon Croutons are about to change the salad game. Remember the revelation you had when you realized that salads could be a vehicle for ranch dressing? You’re about to have a similar life-changing experience. And don’t limit yourself to salad! Bacon Croutons are great on soup, crushed up on top of baked macaroni and cheese, as breading for fried chicken, and of course, used in your favorite Thanksgiving stuffing recipe. Bacon on, friends!
Now, you may be thinking this is truly awesome, and, taste-test pending, just might be, but before the hype gets too big, there was a statement at the bottom of the page that might make you say hmm…
Weirdly enough, these are vegetarian.
That is a source of skepticism, for me. Veggie bacon just sounds… unnatural. But if they actually taste anything close like bacon, it would have to help salads (when I have to eat one). So I’d still like to try them, just to know. When I do, expect a review on this blog.
As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month. As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere. But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one. This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis. In other words, we try to make it more fun. And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.
Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances:
Date Your Mate Month — Ideally your special relationship wouldn’t be too much different from dating to marriage, but it usually changes anyway. So this is a good idea, to go out on a date, putting aside all the marital responsibilities and just have fun and get to know each other more.
National Barbecue Month — I like the food holidays! BBQ is excellent, and it can apply to many different kinds of meats : pork, beef, chicken, etc. Since this holiday lasts all month, that gives you time to make multiple visits to local BBQ restaurants (or cook your own), so you can try the different varieties.
National Blood Pressure Month — I have blood pressure every month, so I don’t see why there’s a holiday for it. It’s not something you need to think about. On the other hand, if you have high blood pressure, that’s something to think about, but the holiday isn’t named high blood pressure month. Besides, if your blood pressure is high, you need to think about it more than just one month per year. And (another) besides, we’ve already discussed this (in a humorous context). Next, please…
National Hamburger Month — Ahh, did I mention that I like the food holidays? :) Hamburgers, or, should I say, cheeseburgers, are one of the best foods ever. This is especially true when you grill it yourself. For some reason, restaurants usually don’t make them as good, even if you’re using a gas grill at home. Since this is an official holiday, I reckon I should grill burgers at least every week this month, if not more often.
National Photograph Month — Here is a photo of a burger. 🙂 This looks like art to me!
National Recommitment Month — Some of you need to reconsider your commitment to reading this blog. By that, I mean you should come here every day, or close to it, to read the new posts and check out the latest comments and write some comments. The more, the merrier…
National Salad Month — It doesn’t seem like a good idea to me for this to be in the same month as the hamburger and barbecue. I mean, who’s gonna choose salad over those other options? Pass!
Older Americans Month — I wonder if there’s a month for younger Americans…
Asparagus Month — I’m not sure if asparagus is even food. Look at it — would you eat that? It looks like weeds in an untended field. I make a motion that we declare it a non-food. Do I hear a second? Also, does it even have any good uses?
Flower Month — There’s a certain reader here who will appreciate this (both the month and the picture).
National Mental Health Month — If you have mental health, you should celebrate it, perhaps by eating a bacon cheeseburger. 🙂 While you’re at it, go ahead and eat two. Your mental health is not affected by fattening foods, so eat all you want. 🙂 Also, know that laughing is an important component of mental health. Some say laughing can add about 7 years to your life. Plus, it’s fun to laugh. So it’s win-win for everyone. And that’s what this blog is here for — for everyone to win. 🙂
National Strawberry Month — It seems odd to dedicate a whole month to strawberries, as small as they are, but since chocolate-covered strawberries are scrumptious, I’ll include them in this listing.
Now let’s move on to the weekly celebrations:
Week 2 — Wildflower Week — Uhh… what are you supposed to do with this? Plant more wildflowers? But if you plant them, are they really wildflowers? Maybe that “certain reader” can explain the appeal of this holiday, because I sure don’t get it.
Week 2 — National Pet Week — I reckon this is a good week to have a pet. :) I’ll include a picture for your inspiration. (I normally don’t care much about dressing dogs up, but getting him to look like Yoda is cool.)
Last Week — National Backyard Games Week — This is kinda vague. There’s a lot of games you can play in your backyard, if it’s big enough. But either way, the point I want to make with this holiday, is that you should invite some friends over, play outdoor games while the weather is still good, and either grill burgers or barbecue. That way you’re celebrating several of these special holidays at once, and everyone is happy (if they’re invited).
This is getting long, and I’ve been told some of my posts are too long, so I’m going to break this up into multiple parts. To be continued… (click here to search for the other ones.)