under the weather

There’s been a lot of people complaining about global warming in the past few years.  But there’s another aspect of the weather that doesn’t get much press, despite it affecting almost everyone.

Today I’m feeling under the weather.  That means I’m sick, I have a cold.  Since people say that is being “under the weather”, then obviously it’s the weather’s fault.  So why hasn’t anyone put forth a global campaign to destroy this weather oppression?

While someone figures out how to stop it, I think we should consider an idea I had a while back: recycling boogers.  I know, that’s thinking way outside the box and it’s gross, but boogers and snot are organic so they might be carbon-based, and there’s an endless supply from colds and allergies.  If someone could figure this out, they’d easily make billions of dollars…

recycling boogers

Here’s some thinking “outside the box” for you…

If a company could figure out how to recycle boogers for some type of production, they could have an endless supply, and it would be very affordable.  They’re all organic, so they’re good for the environment.   And they’re naturally remade every day, all over the world.  And if people got paid at all for their contributions, they’d be compensated more when they have a runny nose, like from allergies or a cold or just a general abundance of snot.  So it would make those times a little easier to bear.

I wonder why no one has thought of this before?

paper made from elephant poop

Did you know that some paper is made from elephant poop?  ‘Tis true!  It’s called “elephant dung paper”.  Who would’ve thought of doing this?  Here’s the story:

The man behind the paper is Mr. Wanchai. On his way home from work he used to pass a natural paper factory and was impressed at the simplicity of the process that used natural tree fibers to make high quality hand made paper. He then took a trip to the Thai Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang Northern Thailand and saw piles and piles of dung. He looked at the dung and noticed that the dung was very fibrous. This was the birth of the idea.

The next step was to take home a carload of dung to his house. His wife was amused and at this stage very patient. Try as he could he could not get the paper just right. He used the family food processor to cut the long fibers to a shorter length — his wife finally lost her patience.

I can see someone getting upset with putting poop in the food processor.  I’d be leery of using it for food ever again, no matter how much cleaning.  Anyway, as you might imagine, he eventually figured out the process, and now sells it.  You can read more at the official website: the history of Elephant Dung Paper.

This is good for the environment, I reckon — they’re taking waste and making a useful product with it.  And each elephant produces enough poop for about 115 sheets of paper a day.

That isn’t the only company that does this, either.  There’s another one that makes “Poo Poo Paper“.  They use “naturally dried elephant dung”, then they rinse it off, then put it in boiling water, then add some fruit fibers, then separate it into “cakes” or “wafers”, and then let it dry.  They can make about 25 large sheets of paper from one turd.

Would you buy Poo Poo Paper or Elephant Dung Paper to help save the environment?