beating Tyson’s Punch-Out on Nintendo

intro screenI’m sure many of you remember playing on Nintendo (NES).  It was a legendary game, not only for its colorful characters, but for the difficulty of it.  Many people never were able to beat it.  If you’ve played it before, the list of characters will take you down memory lane : Glass Joe, Von Kaiser, Piston Honda, Don Flamenco, King Hippo, Great Tiger, Bald Bull, Soda Popinski, Mr. Sandman, Super Macho Man, and then Mike Tyson.  They just don’t make games this unique anymore.

I found a video / short film that chronicles the adventure of a kid in junior high who decided he had to beat it.  There’s a full story behind it, but I don’t want to spoil it for you.  If you have any interest in this at all, you’ll probably enjoy the movie. Little Mac training  It was well-done, and it captures the situation well.  It even has an authentic ’80s set to capture the feel of the era.  (You’ll probably notice several things, like cheese balls, Big League Chew, the clothes.)  It sure brings back some memories of junior high and competing against friends on video games.  It’s somewhat like going back in time, because I can relate to how the main character felt.

The video is 16 minutes long, and it’ll probably prompt you to install some software to watch it.  (The software is okay — DivX is a video standard, similar to MPEG4 on DVDs.)  Here’s the link : .

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve beaten Tyson over a hundred times (trying to get the best time), and even beaten him several times without him ever hitting me… even back in high school.  No brag, just fact.  🙂  I even have witnesses to verify these facts.  I think my best time was 1:09 in round 2 on the original Nintendo (not emulation).

Mike TysonNow, here’s a few quotes I’ve come across concerning how legendary and awesome this game was.

Sadly, defeating Mike Tyson at the end of this game was something I was never able to do.  It’s probably one of the most famous and most difficult accomplishments in video game lore.  If you were able to take out Tyson without using any cheat codes, you were the uber gamer. ~ Viper, at funkdiggityfresh.com

The set of all natural numbers can not adequately represent the number of times I’ve been schoolboyed by Mike Tyson.  I’ve entered the “Tyson code” so many times it’s permanently etched in my brain.  I can’t remember my girlfriend’s middle name but I can remember 007 373 5963 by heart.  Crap, I can’t remember my social security number and it has less digits than the Tyson code.  No matter how many times I fight him I rarely make it into the second round and have maybe knocked him down twice in 15 years.  Twice in 15 years!  I’d like to think I’d have better odds fighting him in real life. ~ Hughes Johnson, concerning Tyson’s Punch-Out on Nintendo

I must admit, if you can beat Tyson (which is obviously an impressive feat, deserving of an audience) then you can do better than me.  I never was able to down that sucker! ~ Kri’, 1/19/05

So there you have it — according to other people’s words, I am “the uber gamer”… obviously.  🙂  I’m not surprised.  But I do feel honored.  It’s nice to be recognized by my peers for my greatness.  Thank you, thank you.  Ever since I started gaming in the late ’70s / early ’80s with my , I recognized that “I’ve got skills… I’ve got game.”  Even today, the legend continues… and grows.  🙂

I hope you enjoyed the movie.  Feel free to share some of your early gaming memories in the comments section.  I’d like to hear from you.

jumping on the politically correct bandwagon

NOTE: Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading in America, Arkansans will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES”.  You must now refer to us as “OZARK-AMERICANS”.  Thank you, drive thru…

Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream ice cream

AmeriCone DreamYesterday I tried Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, designed by the one and only Stephen Colbert.  It’s some good stuff!  It’s vanilla ice cream, with pieces of waffle cone covered with fudge, and with swirls of caramel.  I found it at Walmart, and had to try it, so I could review it for my readers.  (Yeah, I make sacrifices like this all the time for you.  If you only knew…)  My official review : it’s good, and you should try it.

I think there should be a Buffet o’ Blog ice cream flavor.  It would start with sweet cream ice cream, with crumbled up Oreos (cookies ‘n cream) and graham cracker crumbs.  That’s what I get at Cold Stone Creamery, and it’s scrumptious.  If I could buy that at the grocery store, I’d get it all the time.  And if it had our name on it, we’d become even more famous, because word would get out and we’d be famous for designing the best ice cream mixture ever.  (Hey, Ben & Jerry, have your people contact my people, and let’s make this happen.)

quotes from cartoons, pt. 6

Do you know what today is???  Yeah, it’s Wednesday, but that’s not all!  Today you get another batch of quotes from cartoons!  It’s a good time.  And it helps you get over the midweek hump (as some say).  But what if it’s not Wednesday where you live (or on the day you happen to read this)?  That doesn’t matter at all!  These quotes are good every day.  They have stood the test of time.  They continue to be funny, humorous, random, silly, and so forth, regardless of time and space.  So enjoy them… (and if you’re a visitor here, check out the other posts in this series, as well as other random posts).

There’s somethin’ kinda NYEEEE about a kid who don’t know how to play baseball! ~ Foghorn Leghorn

Is it hot in here or am I sweatin’? ~ Brak

Moltar, release the taco! ~ Space Ghost

I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. ~ from a Bugs Bunny cartoon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin

That’s the problem with nature.  Something’s always stinging you or oozing mucus on you.  Let’s go watch TV. ~ Calvin

FLUSSSSSH!  Whee!  Ha Ha Ha.  Mom, I’m done with my bath now. ~ Calvin

I’ve developed a new philosophy… only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown

Don’t toy with me, woman. ~ Homer Simpson

Quoth the raven, eat my shorts. ~ Bart Simpson

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. ~ The Simpsons

Marge: Homer, where are you?
Homer: Uhh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am.
Marge: Do you see towels?  If you see towels, you’re probably in the linen closet again.
~ The Simpsons

Well huzzah, huzzah.  I’ll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight. ~ Mr. Burns, from The Simpsons

Hook: Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!
Rumble: Hey!  Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasimatic!
~ Transformers, The Movie

Megatron: You’re either lying, or stupid.
Starscream: I’m stupid!  I’m stupid!
~ Transformers

I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one left in the universe. ~ Starscream, Transformers

And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway?  I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit. ~ The Tick

The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys.  When it’s used for evil, watch out!  But when it’s used for good, then things are much nicer. ~ The Tick

Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. ~ The Tick, during spring cleaning

Man-At-Arms: You dare threaten her life?
Skeletor: I DARE ANYTHING!  I am Skeletor!
~ from Masters of the Universe

All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

You win again, gravity. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Pathetic human race.  Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb.  Dewey, you fool!  Your decimal system has played right into my hands!  Ha ha ha ha! ~ Chief Giant Brain, in the library absorbing all of Earth’s knowledge, from Futurama

Human female: “All in all, this is one day that Mittens the kitten will not soon forget.”
Morbo: “Kittens give Morbo gas.  In later news the city of New New York is doomed.  Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain.”
~ from Futurama

Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive.  In fact, I am the least non-competitive.  So I win. ~ Family Guy

For every pickle I find, I shall kill you. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Stimpy: Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.
Ren: Why is that?
Stimpy: Because he’s big and stinky.
Ren: Hey, you shouldn’t say mean things like that!  Didn’t you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?
~ Ren & Stimpy

Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man!  Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!
The Pope: Both of them?
~ Ren & Stimpy

BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
~ Pinky and the Brain

You’re not a failure kid.  It’s just that your ideas are silly and dumb. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Well I’d better be going… For somewhere there are wrongs to right.  There are foes to fight.  There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth… I’d have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity. ~ Freakazoid

We’ve put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid’s origin.  It’s filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. ~ Jack Valenti, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
Freakazoid: You can be married and still eat alot of meat.
Cosgrove: I didn’t know that.
~ Freakazoid

By the way there’s a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies.  I’d take care of that if I were you. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee! ~ Guitierrez, when falling, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am.  I’m at your prison.  Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD!  FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE!
Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful.
[hangs up]
Russian Security Minister: Notify the prison authorities.  I want to deal with Freakazoid personally!
Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location!
Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad?  What’s your plan?
Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you’re gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
~ Freakazoid

Who dare disturbs the Master of Masters, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku? ~ Aku, to Samurai Jack

“How can I repay ya, lad?”  “Friends owe no debts.” ~ Samurai Jack, to Scottish warrior

Here’s the link to the other entries in our series.