Category: Random

selling a permanent vacation

I saw a commercial from a company that sells timeshares, and as part of their promotional offer, they said:

“Wouldn’t it be great if you could make your vacation last the rest of your life?”

Yeah, of course it would!  Who wouldn’t buy that?  But of course they aren’t really offering that.  They want to sell you a place you can go on vacation that’s always there.  Although, you can’t go at any time or an unlimited amount, because you’re sharing it with other people in the program.

If you think about it, there are nearly endless vacation opportunities that are always there, whether you buy into this program or not.  Granted, their plan might be good if you want to go to their places on a regular basis, but that particular commercial was misleading.  If they were selling me a vacation that lasted the rest of my life, I’d buy it!  That’s like selling someone an early retirement.  If I could quit working and just vacation all I wanted to, I would, and I wouldn’t have to buy their program to do it.

If someone could sell an early retirement, that would be a highly desired product, because everyone wants that.  But, it would be crazy expensive, and the people who could afford it are the ones who can already afford to retire early…

how to eat a chicken sandwich

Today I was out on the town during the lunch hour, so I stopped by Chick-fil-A to get a chicken sandwich.  (Is there a better chicken sandwich?  That is, getting it without pickles and adding cheese and mayo.)  Anyway, I’ve always eaten it with my hands, because that’s what you do with sandwiches.  But the woman at the drive-thru window put a straw in my bag, even though I didn’t order a beverage.  What was that for?  Did she expect me to use the straw to drink my sandwich?  Silly woman… straws are for beverages!

Peter Griffin forms the NAAFP

I don’t watch The Family Guy on a regular basis, but I’ve seen a few episodes and clips here and there, and this is one of the funniest.  It’s not complicated humor in this one, but some of you will really like it.  Peter Griffin formed the N.A.A.F.P. — The National Association for the Advancement of Fat People.  Their first meeting is hilarious.

Unfortunately, the full clip of this scene got removed from YouTube, but here’s the Spanish version of it, which is still funny.  Really, with this clip, the dialogue isn’t really needed, because I’ve already told you what it’s about.  The humor results from bodily functions, which naturally translate into any language.  🙂  Click here to watch the video.

Someone took the English audio from this clip and applied it to President Bush’s last State of the Union address.  Click here if you have a taste for such things…

the cost of being honored

My brother got a letter in the mail offering him membership in a group called “Outstanding Intellectuals of the 21st Century”.  Sounds all fancy, doesn’t it?  Supposedly the book with people’s names in it will be stored in the Library of Congress, so perhaps that makes it all “official”.  I also wonder why he was chosen to receive the offer, although being related to me, I could see it happening.

But here’s the catch.  If you want a copy of the book for yourself, the Grand Edition is $300!  That’s a LOT of money for a single book!  If you want the full package, you can get the Grand Edition, a fancy diploma, and a silver medal for $825.

I’m thinking if I’m all that famous as an “outstanding intellectual”, they should pay me to put my name in their book.  And if you’re one of the outstanding intellectuals of the century, you probably already have a diploma or two…

Maybe I need to start one of these groups, to make a lot of money.  I figure some people will buy that stuff, to make them feel all important.