This week’s caption contest features a Batman wanna-be. Or, if it actually is Batman, he’s really let himself go. Either way, it’s up to you to figure out something funny to explain this picture. Remember that you can create a backstory however you want, to setup any particular jokes or puns (if you must). You can even tie your explanation in with current events or Batman movies or a previous caption contest (links are allowed). The only rules are to keep it clean and make it funny.
(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)
Buffet o' Blog 
Beppo
There are several ninjas in the picture, but it appears that “Batman” isn’t aware of them…
Beppo
Ever since Bruce Wayne had Alfred install a soft-serve ice cream dispenser in the Batcave, weight management has been a problem…
underwhelmer
It’s not my fault if Commissioner Gordon is an insensitive prick who keeps shining the Batsignal over Taco Bell.
Holiday Inn Express
Good thing the Batsuit is one size fits all.
Thomas Wayne
I don’t know what happened, but I bet you a dollar a donut that Batman started carrying Bat Snacks on his utility belt…
Thomas Wayne
“Hi, I’m Batman, and I can open a can of spinach using my butt muscles.”
Holiday Inn Express
As part of a new anti-mugging initiative, all shoppers are to dress as Batman. That way, the mugger thinks you are Batman and leaves you alone.
Fab
This is what Darth Vader wears when his other suit’s at the cleaners.
Mr. Destructo
This picture could use an explosion or two… When do we get to the action scenes?
Thomas Wayne
Batman, to guy off-screen: “Now, come. We mustn’t linger. It is not safe here at night.”
Other guy: “It’s day.”
Batman: “Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.”
Thomas Wayne
I was wondering when Bruce Wayne would start eating like a billionaire… (I tell ya, if I had billions of dollars, I’d have chefs on-staff who could fix anything I wanted at any time.)
Thomas Wayne
Is that Mango-Man?!?
Thomas Wayne
Batman: “It is inconceivable that this hasn’t attracted the womens…”
Thomas Wayne
What’s going on with his shoes? Are they some type of new weapon or just defective?
Holiday Inn Express
After years of fighting crime, the utility belt had accumulated so many gadets that Batman had to grow a larger waist to hold it all.
Beamis
You can call him Crisco because he’s fat in the can.
Beamis
“The perpetrator was last seen running around like some kind of butt monkey. Huh huh hmmh hmmh”
Mr. Destructo
“You must be in awe of my super colossal strength!”
Thomas Wayne
“I saw a yard gnome once. It didn’t scare me!”
Thomas Wayne
Announcer: “When the conditions are right, The Thing That Should Not Be will awaken from its eon-long slumber, to conquer the world. This must not happen!”
Batman: “I’m not worried, because I’m Batman! So I’m going to continue eating all the Cheetos I want!”
Important Philosopher
Why would Batman need a pass? He’s Batman!
Important Philosopher
Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.
Important Philosopher
He’s the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is…
Mr. Destructo
It may be time for Batman to recalibrate those grappling hooks he uses, or he might get stuck in the air…