world record birthday Cheetos

I figure at some point most everyone thinks it would be neat to somehow get in the Guinness Book of World Records.  Today I had a random thought along those lines, but not for that purpose.  I recently had a birthday (which was cancelled, BTW, for everyone who keeps bringing it up), and I was craving Cheetos.  (We have some baked Cheetos here, which are good, though not quite the same… more like cheese popcorn than Cheetos.  But I digress…)  Anyway, if only I had a bag of Cheetos for every time someone said I was getting old…  🙂

Then I wondered what the world record would be for the most bags of Cheetos received as birthday gifts.  That would be a fun record to break.  🙂  The concept could also be applied to Oreos…

Cheetos - many industrial sized bags, $65 per bag supposedly

I searched for a picture to go with this post and found this one.  Supposedly the guy in the picture bought these industrial-sized bags of Cheetos direct from the factory for $65 per bag and bought 28 bags.  I’m not sure I have sufficient space to store that many Cheetos in my house, and I’m most certain that the WAF (Wife Approval Factor) of that would be near 0.  So maybe I won’t be chasing this world record after all… (though I still must admit it would be fun to try).

world record lunch break

I would like to hold the world record at something.  I wonder what the record is for the longest lunch break…  That sounds like something I could accomplish.

World Record Burger

I was showing some of the guys pictures of the “twin towers of cholesterol” today, and they were curious to see what the biggest burger ever made looked like.  So after much research* I found what I was looking for…

* research consisted of a quick google.

Behold the “Absolutely Ridiculous Burger”:

world record burger -- largest

This burger weighs in at a Artery Clogging 164.5 lbs… yes, that’s right — 164.5 pounds!

They claim that this is the “largest hamburger commercially available.”  And I would believe it!  Look at this monster!   For only $399 and 72 hours notices you can order your very own.   It’s actually on the menu!  (They also sell a 10-pound burger, plus a 1/2 pound burger for wusses.)

It appears we need to have another cookout at Fab’s to see if we can top this one.

I also found another burger that deserves “honorable mention” — they call it the bacon-cheese-pizza-burger!

bacon-cheese-pizza-burger

Want to make one?  They describe how:

“Just take a giant beef patty, eggs, bacon, colby, pepper jack cheese, and throw everything in-between 2 large meat pizzas.”  Yum.

The site also states that they “will not be held responsible for your upcoming heart attack if you decide to eat one these monstrosities.”

the mystery of belly button fluff

One of my readers recently heard a strange news story on the radio, so they found the link and sent it to me.  The article is called “Revealed: The secrets of belly button fluff“.   They said it sounded like something that should go here.  (I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.)

Dr. Steinhauser, an Austrian scientist, has solved the “mystery” of belly button fluff.  He studied 503 pieces of fluff from his own belly button, and ran chemical analysis on the samples.  He works at the Vienna University of Technology, which doesn’t seem to fit with the story.  He said that shaving your belly will result in a fluff-free navel, but only until the hairs grow back.  And he said body piercings, such as belly button rings, help sweep away the fluff before it goes in your navel.

You may be wondering who cares about all this…  But Dr. Steinhauser said, “The question of the nature of navel fluff seems to concern more people than one would think at first glance.”  So maybe some of you have wondered.  I’ve never cared, though.  A similar Australian study concluded that the typical carrier of navel fluff is “a slightly overweight middle-aged male with a hairy abdomen.”  So it’s mostly older, hairy, fat men.  (Fortunately that does not include me.)  That study collected 5,000 samples.  Can you imagine studying other people’s belly button lint?

The article says Dr. Steinhauser also works on other projects, such as monitoring the erosion of his wedding ring.  I suppose if you want a research project that will last you the rest of your life, that would be one.   That sure sounds boring, though.  Also mentioned in the article is Graham Barker, who has been collecting his navel fluff in jars every day since 1984.   He’s now in the Guinness Book of Records for the world’s largest collection of navel lint.  I realize many people want to be famous, but there has to be a better way…