how to make any movie awesome

If you watch movies with any regularity, you have realized that some movies just aren’t that great.  Well, let’s be honest, some movies siphon (that’s a nicer way of saying they suck).  Perhaps it is inevitable.  As the great philosophers Beavis & Butt-head once said, “You have to have stuff that sucks so you can tell the stuff that’s cool.”  As crazy as it sounds, there’s some sense to that.  If everything was at the same quality level, nothing would stand out as exceptional.  But I think there are exceptions to that.  For example, there are some things that are just always cool when done right in a movie, like explosions, car chases, incredible wrecks, massive destruction, tanks, powerful weapons (like rocket launchers, grenade launchers, flamethrowers, etc), Chuck Norris, Mr. T, etc.

What got me to thinking about this was a discussion that restarted at one of our popular posts: I want a tank to drive around town.  A couple of movies were referenced that have tank chases in them.  I’ve seen the one in Goldeneye (a James Bond movie), and I could watch it over and over because it’s so awesome.  Thomas Wayne said this about tank chases:

Seems like more movie directors would find a way to work it in.  I know, it may not seem to fit in all movies, but when you have full access to the script, you can make it fit!  Well, perhaps not everyone has the creative prowess of yours truly, but the movie studios could submit it to Buffet o’ Blog and collectively we could make any movie awesome!  🙂

I have to agree — we could make any movie awesome.   Just look at our free-for-all stories.  So much creativity and humor and action — something for everyone.   So I started wondering if it would indeed be possible to make any movie awesome by making a few modifications to the script.  For instance, if a movie was getting too bogged down with depressing emotional scenes, just have someone pull out a flamethrower and add a few explosions, or have Mr. T come in and talk some sense to them, or have someone drive a tank through the room.  (Or even better, have some crazy amalgamation of all that — Mr. T driving a tank into the room, jumping out, yelling at some stupid people, punching a few folks, then taking a flamethrower to the place, resulting in massive explosions!)  Surely that would make the movie better!  And of course it would add value to the movie, therefore viewers wouldn’t think they were getting ripped off by high ticket prices.   So it becomes a win-win situation.

So the next time you’re watching a TV show or movie that starts getting boring and you can’t change the channel or leave, think about what could be done to make the movie better.  Just imagine how one of these scenarios would improve the movie.  And if you come up with some awesome ideas we haven’t mentioned yet, tell us about it in a comment to this post.  Or add it to our current free-for-all story (the first story at the link above).  Anyone can contribute to those, and the rules are simple.  (And you can subscribe to just that post, so you’ll automatically receive the next chapter via e-mail.  It’s a guaranteed good time!)

Mr. T commercials for Snickers

Today I’m going to link to some videos of commercials.  Now before you give up on this post, know that these commercials feature Mr. T, and they’re awesome.  One of them is perhaps the best / greatest commercial ever.

First, Mr. T is in the back of a truck that jumps through a house, and he is shooting a chain gun that shoots Snickers candy bars at a guy who is speedwalking.  (This commercial was pulled from British TV, because someone got offended and complained about it.)

This next one is probably the best of all the Snickers commercials with Mr. T.   A soccer player pretends to get hurt, so Mr. T drives up in a tank, running over cars, and telling the soccer player to quit acting like a crazy fool.  I don’t think commercials get any cooler than this!

Here’s Mr. T in a helicopter, going off on a guy who thinks the water is too cold in his pool.

Here’s the video where he created his chain gun that shoots Snickers.   It reminds me of the A-Team TV series, where B.A. Baracus would take whatever scraps he could find and build some type of armored vehicle with weapons.  In a way, B.A. was like MacGyver, except much more awesome.

As far as I’m concerned, all companies should hire Mr. T to promote their products!  Commercials wouldn’t be so annoying if they were cool, like these are.

how to convert your car into a tank

In a previous post I wrote about wanting a tank to drive around town.  Unfortunately, tanks tend to be out of the budget, and I don’t know of a used tanks surplus emporium.   But now that’s okay, because someone has figured out how to convert your car into a tank.  You use the frame and engine of your car as is.  You drive up on the tank tread assembly, remove the tires, make some changes to how it’s all connected, and then your car drives like a tank.   The video below illustrates this.

My Russian translation skills are somewhat lacking, but I’m pretty sure somewhere in the video they said the equivalent of “this is one of the coolest things ever”.

BTW, if you do this, you’re on your own.   That would probably void your warranty.  And I’m pretty sure the highway department would frown upon such use, at least on major roads.  But in the deer woods, this would be great!