How was the end of the world for you?

Did you know the world ended last Saturday?  I heard it was guaranteed.  Apparently God didn’t get the memo.

So basically there’s a “preacher” named Harold Camping who uses mathematical calculations supposedly based on the Bible to figure out when the Rapture and Apocalypse will happen.  He figured it would be May 21, 2011.  He’s not just your average garden-variety fruitcake, though.  He is rumored to have spent about $100 million advertising his “prophecy”.  He promoted it on 55 radio stations and 2000 billboards, plus all the free news coverage he got for it.

As you might have noticed, there was a lack of end-of-the-world events last weekend.  Seemed quite normal to me.  I thought maybe I just slept through it, but it seems like it would’ve been on the news had something of such epic proportions actually happened.  So it’s probably safe to say this guy was wrong.

In this day of extended news coverage, of course reporters asked this guy what happened.  How do you think he responded?

A) Admitted his mistake and apologized.
B) Said it was (another) miscalculation.
C) Blame it on Global Warming or Bush.
D) Pretend he was still right.

Well, A would’ve been the ideal thing to do, but that didn’t happen.  B is what he’s done before.  C is what some people do on all kinds of topics, whether it applies or not.  D is the craziest option, though that’s exactly what he did.  Camping said his dates were correct, that it was “an invisible judgment day” and the final judgment and destruction will happen on October 21, 2011.  He also said we cannot understand the Bible, which I thought was really ironic because he claims to be basing his “prophecies” on the Bible.  (Never mind that his prediction is unscriptural; he must have missed that verse.)

I heard of a humorous tweet about the whole thing:

If this Rapture doesn’t get started soon, my rental Ferrari demolition derby last night wasn’t as fun as I thought. ~ David Burge, 5/21/11

My favorite response so far to all the hullabaloo is this billboard that someone made after the doomsday prediction was proven false.  This is awesome.

Well played…

caption contest, crazy man on woodpile

This week’s caption contest is strange and unusual, and it borders on inappropriate.  So if you’re easily offended, you’ve been warned, and you could just skip this one.  Basically, the picture is of an older naked man sitting on a pile of wood.  Well, he has boots on and he’s holding a pan, so you don’t see anything, but still, it’s gross.  There’s a woman in the foreground who looks very agitated, along with a woman in the background who looks like she’s trying to stop something from happening.  Overall, it’s crazy-mad weird.

I’ve been posting these caption contests for a long time now, and I have to tell you, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in this picture.  So it’s up to you to figure out something funny to explain this photo.  And since the image is quite crazy to start with, your story probably can’t be too crazy for it.  So get creative.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

the most fattening meal ever

Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we’ve had a number of Buffet o’ Bacon nights, where we create original bacon dishes.  These have been wildly popular, and many people have desired to participate.  (We have talked of having one open to the public, so hang in there.)   (FYI, if you aren’t familiar with these outings, they are all documented on this blog.  The search box is at the top right of the sidebar.)

Our bacon creations have been great for the most part, although there was the gut-bomb incident…   Since then, we have decided to draw the line on some things.  Call that philosophy what you will, but we don’t want to die today.  If someone wanted to reject all sense of healthiness and longevity of life, it’s not that hard to do — just add bacon to everything and let the bacon grease cook into all the other ingredients.   Of course, people have done this.  We have written on the bacon explosion before, which is over-the-top in how fattening it is (and probably in how good it would taste).   But some people have to keep taking things farther.

The following video is by a group called Epic Meal Time, and they do create epic meals (as well as slick video productions).  Just so you know what you’re getting into, the TurBaconEpic they invented uses 10 packages of bacon and six (6) pounds of butter, as well as a whole pig.  They keep a running total on calories and fat grams, and it will blow your mind.  This is the most fattening meal I have ever heard of.  All in all, their meal had 79,046 calories and 6,892g of fat.   Just try to consider that in context with your daily recommended allowance…

All that said, here’s the video.  Are you ready?

I wish they would keep their episodes free from crude language.  So watch more of their episodes at your own risk.

I’m including this post in the Food Critic series.  It’s not a picture, but you can comment on the food creation from the video.

crazy quotes by Charlie Sheen

You’ve probably heard of the recent self-destruction of Charlie Sheen in recent interviews.  He is all kind of rambling these days… some call is Sheenglish.  I normally don’t write on Hollywood / celebrity gossip, but since this blog specializes in randomness, this fits in.   So below are some quotes by Charlie Sheen, just from the past couple of weeks.  At this time, people are wondering if he’s on drugs or if he’s gone crazy (in the literal sense).  So far it sounds like all-of-the-above.  BTW, I didn’t bother to include the context for these quotes because they still don’t make sense even with it.

“I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’ It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I’m a high priest vatican assassin warlock. I don’t know. All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.”

“When you’ve got tiger blood and Adonis DNA, it’s like, get with the program dude.”

“I’ve been the aw-shucks guy with this … rockstar life, so now I’m going to completely embrace it. I’m going to wrap both arms around it and love it violently, and defend it violently, through violent hatred.”

“I am a peaceful man with bad intentions.”

“You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like dude, can’t handle it, unplug this… It fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this terrestrial realm.”

“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm [show creator Chuck Lorrie] with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”

“There are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper.”

“[CBS] picked a fight with a warlock.”

“I think I’m worth over $1 billion but that’s just on a cellular level.”

“I dare anyone to debate me on things.”

[On salary expectations] “I’m not [broke] but I was kind of counting on some of that money to get me through the summer. Now I’ve got to like work. But that’s alright. Work’s good. Work fuels the soul.”

On that last one he sounds like a professional athlete… Still illogical considering he was making $2 million per episode, but at least he was on topic for a change.

As someone who is familiar with the flowing of randomness, I’m impressed by just how random his word associations are.  It’s hard to imagine how someone in their right mind could be quite that random that often.   It sounds like we are witnessing a train wreck in progress — you don’t want to see it happen, but yet you can’t hardly look away…