Chuck Norris vs a bear

What would happen if a bear attacked Chuck Norris?  There is a video from Walker Texas Ranger that resolves the question.

As you can see, the bear made a surprise attack on Chuck Norris from behind.  Obviously the bear didn’t realize who he was messing with.  Fighting a bear while laying on the ground would be a losing proposition for most people.  You might have dreams of how you would fend it off, but a bear is so many times stronger than a normal human.  But of course, in this video, this isn’t an ordinary human — it’s Chuck Norris.  So he wrestles the bear back, stands to his feet, and then stares the bear down.  I figure his “death stare” was probably conveying the information “I’m Chuck Norris, and if you don’t depart immediately, you will surely die.”  Wisely, the bear left.

I like how they used a judicious amount of slow-motion footage, to add drama to it, even though there’s no way Chuck Norris gets killed by a bear.  And it’s humorous how the woman picked up a stick like she was gonna help, but she just stood there watching.

Oh, and BTW, Chuck Norris doesn’t bleed.  I know it looks like there was some blood on his shirt and hand, but it was either the bear’s blood, or he had some ketchup packets in his pocket.

caption contest, Chuck Norris

It’s Monday, and some of you are probably anxiously awaiting the next caption contest.  (If you’re not, you should be, because this is awesome!)  🙂  Anyway, regardless of your expectations, here it is.

This week I’m using an animated picture, featuring Chuck Norris and some woman in a car.  I don’t know exactly what the context is for this scene, but that’s part of the fun in writing captions — you get to decide.  You can write dialog for Chuck Norris, the woman, or provide narration.  However you do it, have fun.

chuck-norris-dealing-with-woman-wanting-to-drive

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

finding Chuck Norris

You wanna see something random from a large corporation?  This is from Google, which has quite a sense of humor for a company.  Here’s one I found recently.

Go to the main Google search page, then type “find Chuck Norris” (with or without the quotes), then click “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

Try it…

Be sure to continue reading through the suggestions.

Super Chuck Norris Bros.

What would happen if you mixed the classic Nintendo NES game Super Mario Bros. with Chuck Norris?  Someone has, and so they created Super Chuck Norris Bros. (Click on the title to watch a short demo video of it.)

This game would be the awesome!  Although, the difficulty would need to be turned up, because it is Chuck Norris, and he can’t be stopped.

The on-screen messages go too fast, but the first two say “Chuck Norris doesn’t need mushrooms!” and “Chuck Norris needs a shotgun!”  🙂  Actually, he would win without the weapons, but equipping him with a shotgun, grenades, flamethrower, and a chainsaw, makes him unstoppable.  He even destroys trees and clouds in the game!

I’d like to see adaptations of other games featuring Chuck Norris!