Once again it’s time for our next weekly caption contest. This week’s photo features a man eating a giant cheeseburger. And he’s wearing a helmet. Who knows why? (Hopefully you do.) Make up your best guess to explain this picture — or make a joke about it or even a pun (if you must) — and leave it in a comment.
(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)
I think one of the best jobs ever would be a food critic. You go to restaurants, your company pays for it, and you try all kinds of interesting food, then review it. Unfortunately, most of us will never get that job, so I’m starting a series where we get to be a virtual food critic. I know, it’s not nearly the same, because you don’t get to eat the food. But it can still be fun. Plus, if we discover a new dish that sounds awesome, maybe we’ll try it at one of our next “Adventures in Eating” nights (also called “Buffet o’ Bacon”, though not necessarily limited to bacon). And maybe we’ll invite all the regular readers here to these events (as we have been discussing).
Here’s how this new series will work: I’ll post a picture of some dish, and then we discuss it. If that doesn’t sound interesting, give it a chance. I’ve been involved in numerous food-related discussions with the Buffet o’ Blog staff that were a lot of fun, and we’ve come up with many good ideas.
One limitation with these pictures is that there may not be a recipe included, so sometimes we will have to guess at the actual ingredients. But if we aren’t sure what it is, we can always make substitutions (like switching bacon for an unknown meat or replacing non-potato vegetables with cheese).
In your analysis of the featured food dish, you can rate it from 1 to 10 (or any comparable scale), you can specify which ingredients / sides should be removed as well as which ones should be added, and you can explain why a particular dish would be awesome or horrendous. And remember this is a humor site, so don’t get burdened down in seriousness. This is supposed to be fun. So don’t be afraid to get extreme or go way over the top in suggested improvements.
I’ll start this new series with something we’re all familiar with — a cheeseburger. But to me, something about this burger just isn’t quite right. What do you think about it, and what should be changed on it?
(The future entries will all be filed under the category of “food critic“.)
The other day I saw a new show on the Travel Channel called MAN v. FOOD. (BTW, that’s an awesome title, especially once you learn what it’s about). The host, Adam Richman, goes around the country to various restaurants, and eats the spiciest foods, and he also takes on challenges at restaurants. That’s my kind of show.
I’ve only seen a couple of episodes so far, but one I saw was at this restaurant in Boston, and it was voted the 2nd best place to pig out in the U.S. They specialize in burgers. They sell a monster burger with fries, and if anyone can eat it all within an hour, they name it after that person and then create a bigger one. The current challenge is called the Eagle’s Burger Challenge.
The challenge is a cheeseburger with 5 pounds of beef — but it’s not one giant patty, it’s 10 half-pound patties. And it has 20 strips of cheese, 20 strips of bacon, and a LOT of fries — 5 pounds. In fact, all that together weighs 12 pounds. The owner estimates 1500 people have tried this one but no one has defeated it.
On the show, Richman competed against a former employee of that restaurant (who had obviously done some prior “training”). Richman ate almost 7 pounds of it, but his competition ate a little over 7 pounds of it. Before they got that far, though, they were sweating from processing that much greasy food. Try to imagine how that would feel…
I wonder what the “Important Doctor” thinks about that burger, since he promotes a bacon and cheese diet and has other unusual views on eating…
Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days and holidays in September.
- 15 Felt Hat Day — On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats. That’s what this holiday actually means. But I suspect this is an old tradition, because I don’t even know anyone who wears a felt hat.
- 15 Make a Hat Day — Ironically, this is the same day as Felt Hat Day. Perhaps this is when you make a new hat to replace the felt one you just put away. Again, this seem antiquated. Who makes their own hats? Who even wears hats? If I’m wanting to wear a hat, it’s to play baseball, and I’ll just wear my Boston Red Sox cap.
- 16 Collect Rocks Day — Uhh… is this day for people who don’t have a life? I mean, collecting can be fun, like with baseball cards or maybe even with coins or stamps, but rocks?!? At least it would be a cheap hobby, since you can get a lot of rocks for free. And I reckon you could build a rock garden with them, though I don’t know why you’d want to.
- 16 National Play Doh Day — Play Doh… that sounds familiar… is that the guy who was a student of Socrates? 🙂 No, not hardly. I know what Play-Doh is — this soft clay-like substance, where you shape it into various objects, then you throw it at your little brother.
- 16 Working Parents Day — Working parents should get this day off work, while their kids are at school.
- 17 Citizenship Day — I’m a citizen, so I reckon I should celebrate today. 🙂
- 17 Constitution Day — I’m thinking the U.S. Constitution should be re-read by everyone, particularly by politicians and Congress. We need to know what rights we have, and our government needs to protect and preserve those rights. But as it currently is, those rights are being eroded away, and few people seem to even realize it.
- 18 National Cheeseburger Day — This is a great use of a holiday! Obviously, this holiday means you should eat lots of cheeseburgers. That’s not a problem for me!
- 18 Mushroom Picking Day — What?!? No thanks.
- 19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day — ARR! This day becomes more famous (infamous?) every year. It always made working in a corporate environment a little more fun, because several people would participate. If only the leaders would let that kind of talk continue during meetings…
- 19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day — I figure butterscotch pudding is good, but this seems somewhat obscure. I like the butterscotch flavor, and I like pudding, but I’ve never had them together. Perhaps I should research it…
- 20 National Punch Day — Is this a day to drink fruit punch or a day to punch people? Well, the title is ambiguous, so I reckon you can interpret it however you’d like. I might just celebrate both! 🙂 While we’re on the topic of fruit punch, I have a quick rant. Most Mexican restaurants now serve Hi-C instead of a real made-from-fruit punch. What’s up with that? If it’s Hi-C, say so in the menu, but don’t call it fruit punch. That’s misleading.
- 21 International Peace Day — Peace, my brotha’! We should all get along, all the time, really, but at least on this day. So set down your weapons, put aside your grudges, and let’s drink some tea together while watching cartoons.
- 21 Miniature Golf Day — Ah, putt-putt. That’s one of those activities that people tend to forget about, yet almost everyone who goes has a good time. It’s not just for kids…
- 21 National Women’s Friendship Day (third Sunday in September) — Why do women get a day to celebrate friendship? Do they need it? Is there a lack of friendship between women?
- 21 World Gratitude Day — Be thankful for this blog, which is provided to you free of charge. You get fresh, original humor on a near-daily basis, all at no cost. (We do, however, accept donations. We accept cash, checks, PayPal, gift cards, cookies, and compliments.)
- 22 Elephant Appreciation Day — Do all animals get a day of appreciation? Apparently not, because I’ve now went through the whole year of unusual holidays, and there weren’t very many listed about animals. So what makes elephants special? Is it their size? Their memory? The world may never know…
- 22 Dear Diary Day — Dear Diary, today I wrote on Buffet o’ Blog, and my ramblings were enjoyed by thousands of people (over time, perhaps). It’s great that I get to share my awesomeness with the world, for free. If only I could get paid for writing…
- 22 First Day of Autumn — I suppose that it’s necessary to define the seasons by a set standard for record-keeping and statistics, but to me, I say it’s autumn / fall when the temperature reflects it. If it still feels like summer, then it’s summer. When it’s cool enough that I want to be outside during the day, then it’s fall.
- 23 Dog in Politics Day — I don’t know… So I did some quick research, and found that it has to do with Richard Nixon’s dog Checkers. Why his dog gets his own holiday, I don’t know…
- 24 National Cherries Jubilee Day — WOO-HOO! Let’s have a jubilee about, um, cherries. I don’t get it…
- 24 National Bluebird of Happiness Day — Once again, infamous explorer extraordinaire Burford had been mere feet from capturing the elusive Bluebird of Happiness. The bird was walking toward Burford’s grasp, when a chimpanzee farted, scaring away the bird in a startled frenzy. Burford usually laughs when chimps pass gas, but this time it was no laughing matter. Burford walked over to the chimp and pooted in his face. The chimp promptly slapped Burford’s butt and laughed hysterically.
- 24 National Punctuation Day — It’s important to use punctuation otherwise your writing is difficult to read most businesses frown upon sloppy grammar skills thinking it reflects a lack of education they may also suspect the ungrammatical person didn’t try very hard in school so you should always use punctuation it’s really important
- 25 National Comic Book Day — Didn’t we already have this holiday this year? Either way, comic books should get more attention. They tend to get a bad reputation in the media and with most adults, but they are a great art form. Of course, some comics are stupid and/or not worth reading, just like with many TV shows and movies. But some comics are entertaining and will even make you think. So don’t just dismiss them without giving them a chance.
- 27 Crush a Can Day — Why in the world is there a day for this? I suppose it can be amusing to see someone crush a can on their head and inadvertently hurt themselves. But a holiday is not needed for that. Who decides which days get to be holidays?
- 27 International Rabbit Day (fourth Saturday in September) — Is this a day to celebrate rabbits? Or is it a day to have rabbit stew? And do all parts of the world even have rabbits?
- 28 Ask a Stupid Question Day — Ah, this one is interesting. Think of a stupid question, then ask someone. You can ask us here at Buffet o’ Blog, using our Contact Us form. We may not have the right answer, but we can give you an answer. 🙂 I realize some people have said there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never worked in tech support.
- 28 National Good Neighbor Day — Do we need a special day for this? Ideally, no, but probably. So here’s what you do — be friendly to your neighbor, ask them if you can help them with anything, or bake them some cookies. But at least be friendly.
- 29 Confucius Day — You’ve probably heard a lot of those “Confucius say” quotes. He actually said some good things, if you look at his actual quotes, but you can search for them if you’re interested. I’ll include just a few of the funny (non-quote) ones. Confucius say man who run behind car get exhausted. Confucius say man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner. (A word of warning to anyone in that mineshaft — if you don’t C Sharp, you’ll B Flat!) Confucius say people who make Confucius joke speak bad English. 🙂
- 30 National Mud Pack Day — What’s a mud pack? Is that where women cover their face with mud and put slices of cucumbers over their eyes? That’s silly. Although, if you’re paying someone to cover you with mud and vegetables, that’s even more silly. (But think of what kind of profit margin those businesses have!)
Well, that concludes our look at the special days and holidays in September. I hope you found some that you could celebrate. Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.