crazy quotes by Charlie Sheen

You’ve probably heard of the recent self-destruction of Charlie Sheen in recent interviews.  He is all kind of rambling these days… some call is Sheenglish.  I normally don’t write on Hollywood / celebrity gossip, but since this blog specializes in randomness, this fits in.   So below are some quotes by Charlie Sheen, just from the past couple of weeks.  At this time, people are wondering if he’s on drugs or if he’s gone crazy (in the literal sense).  So far it sounds like all-of-the-above.  BTW, I didn’t bother to include the context for these quotes because they still don’t make sense even with it.

“I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’ It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I’m a high priest vatican assassin warlock. I don’t know. All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.”

“When you’ve got tiger blood and Adonis DNA, it’s like, get with the program dude.”

“I’ve been the aw-shucks guy with this … rockstar life, so now I’m going to completely embrace it. I’m going to wrap both arms around it and love it violently, and defend it violently, through violent hatred.”

“I am a peaceful man with bad intentions.”

“You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like dude, can’t handle it, unplug this… It fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this terrestrial realm.”

“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm [show creator Chuck Lorrie] with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”

“There are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper.”

“[CBS] picked a fight with a warlock.”

“I think I’m worth over $1 billion but that’s just on a cellular level.”

“I dare anyone to debate me on things.”

[On salary expectations] “I’m not [broke] but I was kind of counting on some of that money to get me through the summer. Now I’ve got to like work. But that’s alright. Work’s good. Work fuels the soul.”

On that last one he sounds like a professional athlete… Still illogical considering he was making $2 million per episode, but at least he was on topic for a change.

As someone who is familiar with the flowing of randomness, I’m impressed by just how random his word associations are.  It’s hard to imagine how someone in their right mind could be quite that random that often.   It sounds like we are witnessing a train wreck in progress — you don’t want to see it happen, but yet you can’t hardly look away…

our 5 year anniversary

It has been five years since we started Buffet o’ Blog, and we’ve went from obscure to world-renown.  If you think about it, 5 years in Internet years is a long time.  To celebrate, we wish we could offer everyone a free bacon-themed meal, but that’s simply not possible.  See, for the Buffet o’ Blog restaurant (tentative name), we’re waiting on just one more investor… specifically, someone with about a million dollars to invest in our dream, and then it would become a reality and be perhaps [dramatic pause] the greatest restaurant of all-time! [Imagine a loud clasp of thunder right there.]   So if you’re that investor with money burning in your pockets, have your people contact my people.

So since there’s no big worldwide party possible at this time, the staff met at a local BBQ place for lunch, then there were some “fireworks” afterward.  It was a good time.   For those who couldn’t make it, you should go eat a pizza in our honor.  Or better yet, invite us along, too!

Perhaps there will be some new features added in the next week or two in honor of our anniversary.  So stay tuned!  In the meantime, here’s some stats summing up what we’ve done so far (for the nerdy types — you know who you are).

Posts: 966
Comments: 5,052
Spam Comments Automatically Deleted: 88,125
Daily traffic: 565 pageviews (average for 2011 so far)
Total pageviews: 605,958 hits

Those last two boggle my mind, that over 500 people are reading my ramblings every day and that this blog has been viewed over half a million times in just 5 years!  Out of that many people, surely at least one or two think I’m actually funny!  🙂

And last but not least, I wanna send a big shout-out to all the regular readers and subscribers here.  I’m amazed that people actually come back!  🙂  It’s only gonna get more awesome — and I don’t even need a crystal ball to see that.  I’ll keep on writing because I am too legit… too legit to quit!  (Yeah, that’s kinda lame — please don’t unsubscribe!)  There’s some cool stuff already in the pipeline… some exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else.

Peace out… adios… buenos nachos…

caption contest, boy with boombox

It’s now time for our weekly caption contest.  This week’s photo features a boy holding a dual-cassette jambox / boombox, with a couple of cans of spray paint.  Behind him is a prodigious amount of graffiti.  The young man is also making some attempt at being “cool”, wearing sunglasses and making some sign / symbol with his hand.   As always, there is no factual context behind this picture, so you get to make it up.  You can explain what he’s thinking and/or doing, what his peers think, or what has happened or is about to happen.  Basically, you can make up whatever you want.  The only rules are: keep it clean and make it funny.  Have fun!

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

caption contest, dog in Superman costume

Like clockwork, here’s this week’s caption contest.   (Actually, since it’s later than normal, the clock might be broken.)   This time the photo is of a person walking their dog, which is wearing a Superman costume.   It’s up to you to write something funny to go with this picture.  You can write from the owner’s perspective, the dog’s point-of-view, anyone watching, or even just general commentary or jokes or puns.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)