name your disease contest

I recently came across an article from 2002 titled “Leading Causes of Mortality Throughout the World, 2002”  

First off I noticed the #1 cause of mortality was missing…  Death!

That however, is not the reason for the post…   It seems that 3.1% of the people that passed away in 2002 died of “Diarrheal Diseases”  Seriously!  You can’t just make this kind of stuff up!  (look here for the page) This got me to thinking…  Our culture has much too grim a view of death…And so in order to help counter this I am instituting the ‘name-your-fictional disease’ contest. 

If you ‘had to go’ what would be the method you’d prefer? 

I’m thinking I’d choose something along the lines of ‘Hilairia’ … it’s a bit like malaria… but you die laughing…

Twinkie recipes

I heard on the radio recently that for Twinkie’s 75th anniversary, Hostess had people submit recipes using Twinkies and they created a cookbook.  The items included a Twinkie burrito and, get this, Twinkie lasagna.  I’m hoping the “lasagna” is only made with sweet stuff or that’s just gross…

I’m all for innovation, but they should invent more stuff like cookies and nachos.  There’s no need to combine things together that don’t go together.

Life-Saving advice here!

I was online recently and came across some articles about ‘worst case scenarios’.

These are articles written with the purpose of helping readers survive a tragedy should they be faced with one.  I understand that there are also books on this topic as well.

I want to mention 2 articles that I found to be ‘particularly’ helpful, and pass on the sage words of wisdom found here.

In the article “How to survive a volcanic eruption” (click here)  they recommend ‘staying away from the Lava”. 

In the other article “How to navigate a minefield” (click here).  They state that “Fields with large quantities of mutilated ani-mals may indicate a minefield.”

I thought the public should be aware of this potentially life saving advice. 

Now… I want to open this post up to our loyal readers.  Do you have some potentially ‘life-saving’ advice that you’d like to share?  Post it here!  The welfare of others could be at stake.

viewer mail!

It’s time for another installment of viewer mail.  Well, we don’t actually have viewer mail yet, but we have talked about it!  Perhaps in the near future we will have a place for you to ask your questions to our panel of experts.  In the meantime, we will use some of the actual search terms used in finding this site to see what you, the reader, are interested in learning more about.  Enjoy!

  • stupid plans for world domination — I’m not sure why you’re looking for the stupid plans, unless you want to see if your plans are listed.  Regardless of your intent, we do have some here.  A fellow who called himself “Important Evil Genius” had some idea of making pickled zombies, and that’s definitely stupid.  There’s also a post called “what would be your method of choice for World Domination?”, and it has some ideas.  There’s some info by Mr. Destructo, who sounds like he knows a thing or two about doomsday devices.  (Let’s hope he decides to use his powers for good.)
  • dentist puns — Unfortunately, we have some of these on the site.  Our buffet of randomness includes all kinds of humor, even some non-humorous items on the side like puns.  Search for dentist (from the box in the right sidebar) and you’ll find them.
  • memoir about my childhood life — I think you’re confused.  You want to find memoirs about your own childhood life?  Shouldn’t you already know them?  And if there are some posted online, shouldn’t you know about them?  Either way, we do not have your childhood memoirs at this time.  If there’s enough interest, we could write some for you.  But we do have some of Thomas Wayne’s memoirs, and he’s had an interesting life.
  • fat inducing virus — This sounds like it should go with the “stupid plans for world domination” search.  Why else do you want to make everyone fat?  Or are you trying to make the rest of the world like America?  Or are you about to start selling some fat-reducing medicine?  Hmm…
  • WORKAHOLIC COWORKER — We have this covered already.  Search the site for “workaholic”.
  • blogs high blood pressure — Boy, do we have something for you!  Search for a post called “reducing high blood pressure”.  It’s a good time.  (However, if you have serious problems, you should be visiting a doctor instead of reading this.)  Here, we debate things like whether eating bacon can lower your blood pressure.  Yeah, that stands in the face of conventional wisdom, but bacon sure is good!
  • golf is boring — True dat!  We here at Buffet o’ Blog have noticed that, too, when they waste precious time during SportsCenter to show golf highlights.  So we started a post called “making golf less boring”.  The ideas presented here are definitely radical, but we think they would greatly improve the ratings and make people more interested in playing.  Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section.

That’s all for today.  Stay tuned for the next installment of this valuable series.