today’s lunch at a Chinese buffet

Today I had lunch at a local Chinese restaurant, and when we got to our table, we noticed a woman lying in the floor with a man crouched by her.  This gave me pause about eating there, but it turns out she just hadn’t taken her medicine and was fainting.  On the way out she fell down again.  Poor lady… she should’ve eaten more to gain some strength.  I would’ve gladly demonstrated how much one should eat there (to get your money’s worth, of course), but she left when I was getting started.  I went ahead with the demonstration, though, just in case someone else was watching and not sure if they should get that second plate or not…

I noticed on the buffet this time they had some chicken strips, where were actually pretty good.  But what amused me about it was the name above them :

CHICKEN STRIP

Without the plurality, it makes you think of it with a Chinese accent or in Ebonics.  “I’m gonna go get me some more of them chicken strip.”  (Yeah, sometimes I’m amused by simple things…  I try to enjoy life everywhere I’m at.)

And one typical characteristic of Chinese food holds true again today — just a few hours later, I’m hungry again.  So now I’m eagerly waiting for my next eating adventure.  🙂

unknown names on my caller ID

I don’t know who would name their child “Blocked Call”, but I wish they’d quit calling my house and not leaving a message.  It’s getting rather annoying…

random facts about hippos

I was flipping through the TV channels recently and came across a show on Animal Planet about hippos (that is, hippopotamuses, or is it hippopotami?).  I ended up watching a few minutes of it, and I learned that they are more advanced than humans in a few areas, which surprised me.  Obviously they’re better at being fat, but that’s not something to be jealous of.  Well, maybe they’re just big-boned… because consider this : hippos can run up to 30 mph on land.  30 mph!  Considering that they weigh anywhere from 3,000 to 7,000 pounds, and that’s quite an achievement.  They even have stubby little legs.  It’s very impressive that they can reach such speeds given those conditions.  And then all of a sudden I realized what an advantage I have in running, yet I’m pretty sure I can’t get anywhere close to 30 mph, even for a very short run.  That ain’t right!  But that’s okay, because I’ve got a number of other inherent advantages over the hippo (the main one being infinitely more intelligent).

hippoAn interesting little bit of trivia about the hippo is that their skin secretes a natural sunscreen substance, to prevent them from getting sunburned.  It’s initially colorless, then turns red-orange within minutes, then turns to brown.  Sometimes I wish I had a natural sunscreen, like when I want to spend a summer day at the pool or playing baseball.

Another interesting bit of trivia is that the hippo can consume 150 pounds of grass each night.  That’s a LOT of grass!  I couldn’t eat even half of that in a day, even if it was steak with bacon and shrimp.  But that’s okay, because I’d rather not be as big as a hippo.  🙂

Also, I found something we sort of have in common with hippopotami :

Most of their defecation occurs in the water, creating allochthonous deposits of organic matter along the river beds.  These deposits have an unclear ecological function.

Most of us humans prefer to use toilets instead of rivers and lakes, creating deposits of “organic matter” in sewage treatment plants.  And like the hippo, these deposits have an unclear ecological function.  🙂

Speaking of defecation…  🙂  I heard this on the TV show and found it amusing :

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over the greatest possible area.  Hippos also urinate backwards (are retromingent), likely for the same reason.

I had never heard of that before…  Try to picture that…  I glanced around on YouTube to find a video for your viewing pleasure, and actually found one.  It’s neat to hear the surprised screams of people who are dangerously close.  (On a side note, isn’t the Internet awesome???  You can find anything on it!)  Also, I found where a South African family has a hippo living in their house as a pet.  Now picture the hippo spinning his tail while pooping to distribute his poop over the greatest possible area — in their house.  I would find that hard to live with, but maybe that’s just me.  One of my house rules is no pooping outside of the designated toilet areas.

Glancing at Wikipedia (where I confirmed this data), I found something else kinda amusing :

Hippopotamuses appear to communicate verbally, through grunts and bellows, but the purpose of these vocalizations is unknown.

I’m no important scientist, but I suspect they say the same type of stuff other animals do, like even cats and dogs.  A grunt may mean, “That’s my food, get back!” or “Hey, baby…” or “Whew! I just farted underwater and it’s all kind of stank!”  (My interpolations of their grunts are subject to dispute with certain other scientists, but I happen to know a thing or two about hippopotami.)

Now don’t you feel more educated about hippos?  🙂  You learn something every day, they say…

the special days of November, pt 2

Here’s part 2 of our analysis of the special holidays in November.  Now on to the individual days that are holidays in November :

  • 2 Look for Circles Day — Uhh… who thought of this?  But I reckon some people care about this sort of thing, so I’ll help you get started.  oOoOoOoOoO  🙂  Actually, when you look for something specific that we tend to overlook like a certain shape or color, it helps you see things differently.  So it might not be such a bad idea after all.
  • 4 National Candy Day — It seems odd to have this a few days after Halloween, when everyone eats all kinds of candy, but so it goes.  Obviously, you should eat lots of candy this day.  Have fun!
  • 5 National Donut Day — Since this is an important holiday and stuff, you should go all out.  I recommend visiting a Krispy Kreme store that makes the doughnuts (donuts) there, and get one that just came off the conveyor belt.  Trust me on this — it’s awesome.  It’s so soft and sweet, and it almost melts in your mouth.  Also suggested is to get some chocolate-filled donuts.  Mmm…
  • 6 Marooned without a Compass Day — I’d recommend you not attempt this — it may turn into more than just one day.  Who thinks up these things?  Perhaps it was some bitter sailor who was stranded on an island for a long time, living with monkeys and eating coconuts, and he wants others to relate to his plight.
  • 7 Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day — This one is self-explanatory : EAT IT.
  • 7 Hug-a-Bear Day — They didn’t specify whether this is about teddy bears or real bears.  But for your own safety, you should limit this to your teddy bear.  And also for your own safety, you should do this only when you’re at home… by yourself… and then only if you must.
  • 13 Sadie Hawkins Day — I don’t know if anyone still celebrates this or not, but I found out some interesting trivia about it.  It started in a cartoon by Al Capp in the 1930s.  In the cartoon, the mayor of Dogpatch was desperate to marry off his ugly daughter.  So he created this day, where single women chase single men.  The men are given a short head start, and if the woman catches her man, he has to marry her.  I don’t recommend participating in this one, for obvious reasons.
  • 13 Mom’s and Dad’s Day — What?  They’ve already got major holidays, each.  So what’s the point of this?
  • 15 Great American Smokeout — This is a day to quit smoking.  You don’t have to wait until this holiday, though. Smokers should stop TODAY.  I realize it’s difficult, but the grace of God can empower you to overcome it.  (Sorry for the momentary seriousness.  Consider it a public service announcement courtesy of Buffet o’ Blog.  Besides, if smokers quit, it will make the world a better place.)
    teddy bear in grass
  • 16 Have a Party With Your Bear Day — Didn’t we just have something like this on the 7th?  I glanced online to see what was said about this day, and it’s kinda shocking : “What a swell day it is going to be!  You get to have a party.  And, you get to spend time with your Teddy Bear.  I bet you can’t think of anything that is more fun!!  Get out the party banners and balloons.  Make a cake.  Send out the invitations.  Invite all of your teddy bears, and your human friends, too.  Let them bring their teddys along.  Today is going to be a fun day.”  Uhh… are they serious?  I bet I could find quite a few things more fun than serving cake to a teddy bear.  But to each their own…
  • 17 Homemade Bread Day — Now here’s something good!  If you haven’t ever had freshly baked homemade bread, you are missing out!  While it’s baking, it creates a great aroma that fills your house, making everyone hungry.  Some of you may be thinking, “It’s just bread”, but don’t dis’ it until you’ve tried it.  And here’s the day to try it.
  • 17 Take A Hike Day — Sounds reasonable.  But wait until you’ve finished reading this and left a comment.  🙂
  • 17 World Peace Day — I think some countries didn’t get the memo.  It’s a noble idea, but it needs more promotion.
  • 19 Have a Bad Day Day — Who thought of this?  I refuse to participate in such tomfoolery!
  • 20 Absurdity Day — Maybe this is the proper day for farting into the phone during a conference call at work.  It would certainly be absurd and illogical.  And then you could tell your boss why you did it, that it’s for a holiday and it makes the workplace more festive and stuff.
  • 21 False Confession Day — I’m building a life-size replica of the Death Star.  And when I get bored, I build suspension bridges in my backyard.  Oh, and the laws of physics don’t apply to me.
  • 22 Thanksgiving Day — You know about this one already.  Give thanks for all the blessings God has given us, including the great freedoms we enjoy in America.  Oh, and of course we should be thankful for turkey and dressing, ham, mashed taters, macaroni & cheese, sweet tea, pecan pie, chocolate chip cookies, etc.  🙂
  • 23 Buy Nothing Day — This holiday is always the day after Thanksgiving, but retailers seem to have not gotten the memo.  Maybe it used to be the case, and that’s why there’s all these huge sales.  This day is also known as Black Friday.
  • 25 National Parfait Day — A parfait is a dessert made of several layers of different flavors of ice cream, among other things.  I’m not sure of the best place to get one, but if you don’t know where to buy one, just eat some ice cream, and you can layer in some Oreos with it.  Improvise if you have to.
  • 26 National Cake Day — Eat cake… lots of cake.
  • 30 Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day — Ahh, an excuse to not work.  That’s all you’ve got to say for me!  This is a good idea, I think.  Sometimes we need a day off of work just to relax and do fun stuff.

There you have it.  November has lots of special days, something for everyone.  Now I’ll end my rambling.  Any of you reading this are encouraged to share your thoughts, opinions, or analysis in the comments section.  Surely you’ve got some thoughts on all this…