the special days of May, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances:

  • Date Your Mate Month — Ideally your special relationship wouldn’t be too much different from dating to marriage, but it usually changes anyway.  So this is a good idea, to go out on a date, putting aside all the marital responsibilities and just have fun and get to know each other more.
  • National Barbecue Month — I like the food holidays!  BBQ is excellent, and it can apply to many different kinds of meats : pork, beef, chicken, etc.  Since this holiday lasts all month, that gives you time to make multiple visits to local BBQ restaurants (or cook your own), so you can try the different varieties.
  • National Blood Pressure Month — I have blood pressure every month, so I don’t see why there’s a holiday for it.  It’s not something you need to think about.  On the other hand, if you have high blood pressure, that’s something to think about, but the holiday isn’t named high blood pressure month.  Besides, if your blood pressure is high, you need to think about it more than just one month per year.  And (another) besides, we’ve already discussed this (in a humorous context).  Next, please…
  • bacon cheeseburgerNational Hamburger Month — Ahh, did I mention that I like the food holidays?  :)  Hamburgers, or, should I say, cheeseburgers, are one of the best foods ever.  This is especially true when you grill it yourself.  For some reason, restaurants usually don’t make them as good, even if you’re using a gas grill at home.  Since this is an official holiday, I reckon I should grill burgers at least every week this month, if not more often.
  • National Photograph Month — Here is a photo of a burger.  🙂  This looks like art to me!
  • National Recommitment Month — Some of you need to reconsider your commitment to reading this blog.  By that, I mean you should come here every day, or close to it, to read the new posts and check out the latest comments and write some comments.  The more, the merrier…
  • National Salad Month — It doesn’t seem like a good idea to me for this to be in the same month as the hamburger and barbecue.  I mean, who’s gonna choose salad over those other options?  Pass!
  • asparagusOlder Americans Month — I wonder if there’s a month for younger Americans…
  • Asparagus Month — I’m not sure if asparagus is even food.  Look at it — would you eat that?  It looks like weeds in an untended field.  I make a motion that we declare it a non-food.  Do I hear a second?  Also, does it even have any good uses?
  • Flower Month — There’s a certain reader here who will appreciate this (both the month and the picture).
  • National Mental Health Month — If you have mental health, you should celebrate it, perhaps by eating a bacon cheeseburger.  🙂  While you’re at it, go ahead and eat two.  Your mental health is not affected by fattening foods, so eat all you want.  🙂  Also, know that laughing is an important component of mental health.  Some say laughing can add about 7 years to your life.  Plus, it’s fun to laugh.  So it’s win-win for everyone. And that’s what this blog is here for — for everyone to win.  🙂
  • National Strawberry Month — It seems odd to dedicate a whole month to strawberries, as small as they are, but since chocolate-covered strawberries are scrumptious, I’ll include them in this listing.

Now let’s move on to the weekly celebrations:

  • Week 2 — Wildflower Week — Uhh… what are you supposed to do with this?  Plant more wildflowers?  But if you plant them, are they really wildflowers?  Maybe that “certain reader” can explain the appeal of this holiday, because I sure don’t get it.
  • dog costume YodaWeek 2 — National Pet Week — I reckon this is a good week to have a pet.  :)  I’ll include a picture for your inspiration.  (I normally don’t care much about dressing dogs up, but getting him to look like Yoda is cool.)
  • Last Week — National Backyard Games Week — This is kinda vague.  There’s a lot of games you can play in your backyard, if it’s big enough.  But either way, the point I want to make with this holiday, is that you should invite some friends over, play outdoor games while the weather is still good, and either grill burgers or barbecue.  That way you’re celebrating several of these special holidays at once, and everyone is happy (if they’re invited).

This is getting long, and I’ve been told some of my posts are too long, so I’m going to break this up into multiple parts.  To be continued…  (click here to search for the other ones.)

a unique way to remove wasps

I was just outside in the yard, weed-eating around the house.  (“weed-eating”???  I know people say that, but it sounds weird.)  Anyway, I went in the garage to put the weed-eater up, and I found a couple of flying stinging bugs.  They were small like a bee, but they might’ve been small (midget?) yellow jackets.  Either way, it had a stinger, and that means it was illegally trespassing on my property.  All such insects are exterminated upon detection, in accordance with my policy.

This evil insect was between me and the door, so I couldn’t get to the wasp spray, therefore I took a different, unorthodox approach.  I have no problem with using some creativity.  I waited for the opportune time, and I killed it with the weed-eater.  🙂  I cut off his tail / stinger, and the rest of him was not to be found.  The second insect met the same fate, although none of him was ever seen again.

That may sound harsh, but they were illegally on my property and refused to leave when I showed my discontent.  So they had to face the consequences.  The penalty for wasps (or similar creatures) in my yard is death.  It’s non-negotiable, too.  If they won’t accept the terms and thus live somewhere besides my premises, then they will be removed by force.

dreaming altering reality

Recently I had a dream where I needed to hit the snooze button a few times for something to take effect.  I don’t remember now what was happening in my dream, but it was something good, and pushing the snooze button was supposed to finalize it.  And (not) coincidentally, this was happening while my alarm clock was buzzing.

Obviously it was all a dream and had nothing to do with reality, but it’s obvious that my body was trying to tricks me.  Perhaps my body was reverting to sneaky tactics to persuade me to get more sleep.  Was my body saying that I’m sleep-deprived, that I need more rest?  Or does it mean my body just wanted to be lazy and sleep later into the morning?  I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s fair that my body is interfering with my dreams.  It’s especially not right that my alarm clock is appearing in my dreams!  My dreams are supposed to be happy places, where I’m the superhero who saves the world each night, and where alarm clocks don’t exist, and where I can eat as much pizza as I want to without gaining weight, and… well, you get the point.

Perhaps my subconscious was trying to remove me from the reality of alarm clocks, to take away the annoying effect of them.  No longer was the loud buzzing a sign to get up — it had become part of completing a good project.  This is all good in my dream world, but in real life it’s inconvenient, because I’m not getting up when I should be.  But what can I do?

I reckon I should take it as a sign that I should be sleeping later.  After all, don’t all those important doctors and physicians tell us we should listen to our body?  Yeah, I recall that.  So I’m going to start sleeping in when this happens.  I just need some way to convince my boss that this is what I should be doing… perhaps there should be some medical research in this area, to prove what I’m claiming.  I’m sure there’s proof, somewhere out there… I just have to find it.  🙂

I don’t own a bed

I’ve been married a few years now, so I’ve learned a few things about relationships.  And I’ve learned that women sometimes see things differently than men do.

Just recently I learned that we do not have a bed in our bedroom.  This was quite the surprise for me, because I always thought we were sleeping in a bed.  I mean, it’s a bed frame with a couple of mattresses, along with pillows, sheets, and blankets.  To me, that’s a bed.  But apparently it’s not a bed.  I’m not sure what it is, then.  Can anyone explain this?

I did find out why it’s not a bed, though — it doesn’t have the decorative headboard and footboard on it.  Supposedly that makes it a bed.  Uhh, yeah…  So I’m still not sure what we have, but I’m going to call it a bed anyway…