Category: Random

Exercise Is Bad For You, New Study Shows

CHICAGO, IL – Scientists at Loyola University have proved what many of us have suspected all along – exercise is bad for your health.

Dr. Harold Crampe of Loyola University and his colleagues spent six months studying the effects of exercise, comparing a group of men aged 20 to 50 who walked or ran at least 3 times a week with a control group of men in the same age range who spent the same time on the couch, watching TV.

Dr. Crampe says they were surprised by their findings. "You have a 4000% higher risk of being hit by a car or other motor vehicle, if you're out running," he says, "and some of the other risks are even higher."

Runners and walkers were nearly 3 times more likely to be attacked by dogs, 5 times more likely to sprain or break a limb, and nearly 50 times more likely to be struck by lightning.

"You're even 12 times as likely to be mugged," says Dr. Crampe. "Normally, when we study things like this, we find small effects at most – a few percentage points difference between the groups. In this case, we're seeing double or even triple digits or more!"

Asked if the couch-bound control group had any problems not seen by the exercise group, Dr. Crampe said "Well, we had a couple of guys who got a crick in their neck, but after we showed them how to slouch more naturally, that cleared right up."

You want to know about this!

There's a new idea in the pipeline that is gonna be BIG! Not only will it revolutionize this site, but it will impact the whole country, if not the world. It will shake our political world to the core, upheaving the antiquated system; it will cause you to get more excited about work; it will get you free food; and more!

Now, I can tell some of you don't believe me. I can feel the skepticism growing in the room. (Um, wait a minute… I'm the only one in the room. So that can't be right… I know, I can sense it across the Internet. There's some weird vibe emanating from my cable modem in the corner. Yeah, that's it.)

Anyway, I know some of you won't believe me. Perhaps you think a site so random as Buffet o' Blog couldn't possibly have such a revolutionary idea. Well, it's definitely random, so it fits in well here. And plus we thought of it, so here it goes. As the funds start pouring in, we may dedicate a whole new website to this project.

But in the meantime, I can't tell you what it is. See, this idea needs to get all hyped up. So we're taking a page out of Apple's playbook by telling you there's an exciting, fun, new project about to be announced, but we aren't going to tell you what it is yet. So let the anticipation build!

Like I said, I know some of you are doubting my words… my trusty cable modem tells me so, with its flashing orange lights. But consider this — what if I'm right? It would be worth your time to come back to this site on a regular basis. If you read this and then miss out, great will be your loss. We're trying to change your life with this incredibly exciting new project, and you can make time for that. If you can't, then you need to make time to get a life.

At this time, a release date has not yet been set, but official discussions were taking place in the camp this very afternoon. Just stay tuned… you will hear it here first!

I’m hungry now…

I’m hungry now… and while I’m not craving a particular food, I’m thinking what sounds good is something with a combination of the words chili, spicy, cheese, jalapeno, and fries.

how to defuse a ninja

Do you know how to defuse a ninja?

You’ve probably never thought about that, but what if you suddenly find yourself in one of those movie-like situations where you have to fight a ninja one-on-one and there’s nowhere to hide? What would you do?