Well, we just had Groundhog Day. It’s too bad the holiday isn’t anything like the movie. That would be great if we got to live the same day in a row a few times. 🙂 Anyway, supposedly the groundhog saw his shadow, so we have more winter. Whatever…
The news on this day should be what it means that a groundhog bit New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg during their ceremony. Yes, their little festival had violence. I’ve wondered why groundhogs participate in this stupid tradition, when they should be hibernating. Well, “Staten Island Chuck” decided to take matters into his own hand… er, mouth.
But now the bigger question remains unanswered — what does this physical violence mean for the rest of the winter? Does it signal the worst winter ever? Does it foreshadow our ultimate doom? What exactly is going to happen now? I guess time will tell (unless there happens to be a groundhog prediction expert in the crowd)…
GroundHog expert conveniently in the crowd
Well bob I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this ‘biting’ signals the coming of the single worst winter anywhere on record. we can expect *blizzards and snowstorms of epic proportion. In fact this could indeed be the beginning of a new ice age. You can bet on it!!! They don’t call me “GroundHog expert conveniently in the crowd” for nothing!
*disclaimer: alternately we may only see a light dusting!
Mr. Destructo
Mr. GroundHog “expert”, you sound like most of the weathermen on TV — afraid to take a stand. Quit making disclaimers so you can’t be called out on your prediction. Either figure out what will actually happen, or make it happen.
(BTW, if you really want to make it the worst winter ever, I might could be of service. That is, for the right price. Have your people contact my people.)
GroundHog expert conveniently in the crowd
Mr. Destructo you are absolutely correct! we need more weather we can count on. Weather control it is! I appreciate you offering your services but I will pass. I am looking for someone with an actual degree and years of experience. I don’t suppose you know how I can get in touch with the Evil Important Genius? 🙂
Mr. Destructo
Mr. GroundHog “expert”, perhaps you are new here and thus don’t know that the Evil Important Genius is a fraud. He’s an old man, using outdated “technology”, who has crazy schemes for world domination which could never work. He talks big, but it’s obvious he’s full of hot air. You can call him, but it’ll be a waste of time.
Some say he hasn’t even caught up with satellite technology yet, that he still uses AM radio for broadcasts, which would limit his “domination” or weather control to mere miles (and that’s if he could somehow harness radio waves to control weather, which I doubt).
GroundHog expert conveniently in the crowd
Mr. Destructo you may indeed be right! Let me know when you finally graduate, until then looks like i’ll be going eith the Evil important Genious.
Mr. Destructo
Why do people try to discredit my skills because of my youth? Just because I’m in college, it doesn’t mean I’m incapable of controlling the weather or conquering the world. You can learn this now, from the wisdom of my words, or you will be forced to learn when my world domination plan comes to fruition!
WeatherMan
Excuse me GroundHog ‘expert’! We weathermen are the protectors of all that is good and wholesome in this world when it comes to the weather.
Do you not observe our countless commercials advertising how great we are on any given bad weather day?? Can u not see the countless testimonies of people desperate for their 15 minutes of fame, so much so, that they will e-mail their local news outlet flattering comments (about us, of course) just to get on t.v.??
Are you not astounded by our profound display of limitless humility when it comes to being a mere mortal trying to save as many lives as possible with our super gadgets? People need more than the internet for their weather. they need us.
WE ARE HEROES! all we want is to bask in the knowledge of your safety from inclement weather patterns due to our perserverence in accurately predicting forcast anomalies.
Don’t be hate’in.
Serenia
Hmm, very cognitive post.
Is this theme good unough for the Digg?