funny quotes about Christmas

How about some funny Christmas quotes?  Well, they may not all be funny, but they’ll at least be random.  Although if you happen to expect it, then it won’t be random.  Whatever…  Here’s some quotations about Christmas.  Enjoy.

Wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, panda, hippo, gnu, deer.
(Sung to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

Christmas is weird.  It’s the only time of year when we love to sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks.

There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries. ~ W.J. Cameron

I have a long-standing complaint with Christmas… long-standing in check-out lines, that is. ~ Thomas Wayne

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?  Claustrophobic.

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns?  Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. ~ Tom Sims

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~ Bernard Manning

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck

You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  And he puzzled and puzzled ’til his puzzler was sore.  Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.  What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~ Dr. Seuss

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