Super Bowl randomness

It’s a few weeks after the big game, but that doesn’t matter.  Either you’ll like this or you won’t.  (That could probably apply to any post, although more so for this one, since it’s about football.)  Anyway, I came across a blog where someone wrote a live update of the pregame and game, and it’s not your usual summary.  In addition to being funny, it’s a glimpse into how the game and commentary might look to someone who isn’t accustomed to American culture.  So much of this perspective we normally miss, just because it’s normal to us or we don’t bother to think about it.  Anyway, here’s some excerpts from the Super Bowl XLVII summary: The Superest Bowl Ever.

2:39: Bombshell! President Barack Obama DOESN’T KNOW WHO HE IS ROOTING FOR! We should impeach him! This somehow segues into a story about concussions. I assume they’re implying that Obama has a concussion, but I may be reading too much into it.

3:05: Chuck Pagano, the Indianapolis Colts head coach was hired, then was diagnosed with leukemia, then it went into remission. There is a lot of crying. Most of it is not from me, though, so kudos to me for being manly. Inspirational/depressing story #3.

3:20: CBS asked their Facebook fans which quarterback was the best. That is a great idea for deciding levels of talent. No one on Facebook will vote based on their biases.

3:36: Apparently Obama isn’t concerned about his son playing football since he only has two daughters. Bombshell! OBAMA IS SEXIST AND SAYS HIS DAUGHTERS WON’T BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOOTBALL BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS! No wonder the right hates him so much.

4:00: Football players explain that they are trying hard to win the Super Bowl while the “Saving Private Ryan” soundtrack plays in the background. I figured they were planning on phoning it in, so now I’m really looking forward to the game.

5:00: “The Kickoff Show” starts. What the crap have I been watching for the past 3 hours?

5:01: A bunch of retired NFL players start stories about their turn in the Super Bowl. They never finish the stories though before someone else starts talking. Either those players are all very bad at interrupting or the CBS editors have serious ADD.

6:05: The first quarter ends with the score 7-3. More importantly, I am eating wings. Therefore, I do not care about the stupid football game for the next half hour.

6:09: The Harbaughs’ parents are at the game. I was wondering if they were watching the game, but thank goodness someone had the answer for me.

6:13: The 49ers fumble and the Ravens recover. They really should have made a game-plan that involved not dropping the ball. I bet they do that next time.

6:28: Baltimore Ravens interception by Ed Reed leads to an awesome brawl. I am starting to sense that these two teams don’t get along. Maybe we should take a quick break, talk things out, then get back to the game after everyone has apologized to each other.

6:42: Subway uses a commercial spot to honor Jared for not being fat for 15 years. He appreciates it, I’m sure, but would probably prefer that they gave him something besides Subway to eat.

7:31: Kickoff for the second half is returned 109 yards for a Ravens’ touchdown. I now will spend the next 15 minutes wondering if I could even run 109 yards. 28-6 Ravens.

7:37: Extended silence from the announcers while they show that lights have gone out in the ceiling. One player is shown yelling at the lights. I’m surprised, but it didn’t seem to work.

7:41: A sideline reporter is telling us that the power is out. It was a very in-depth investigative report.

7:44: CBS sends it to the studio. They confirm that the lights are out. So, to summarized, the lights are out.

7:49: The lights are, according to the studio, still out. According to them, this makes it darker inside and will make the game more difficult. When I was a kid, I knew people who had glow in the dark Nerf footballs. The NFL should look into getting those.

7:52: The sideline reporter spoke to the players. It turns out that they aren’t afraid of the dark, so that’s a relief.

7:59: When the lights come back on, the studio analysts say the game will start again. That is the decision I would make if I were in charge of the game.

9:04: Kaepernick runs for a San Francisco touchdown. They go for a two-point conversion. If you get points for throwing the ball way over someone’s head, they succeeded. Since they don’t get points for that, It’s 31-29 Baltimore.

9:51: Toyota postgame show begins. Sponsored by Toyota.

Lessons learned from commercials tonight:

If you hire Century 21, the realtor will save your life or provide medical care, but only if you are looking for a house.

M&M’s would prefer that you do not eat them.

Parents don’t care about parties as long as you are drinking a delicious low calorie soda.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson cannot save the world from aliens, get cats out of a tree, or stop lions from mauling people without having a glass of milk first.

The Volkswagen makes people speak like Jamaicans. Weird product feature there.

Taco Bell makes old people do things like stupid youths.

Trucks are great for farmers.

Try applying original thinking the next time you’re watching a TV show or commercials.  Just how much is going on that is silly or absurd or random?

it happens to the best of us

Recently a professional tennis player hit a serve that not only missed the court, but it went into the crowd, about 20 rows deep.  This is professional tennis, at one of the biggest tournaments of the year.  And this was not just some no-name tennis player, it was Li Na, who is ranked #5 in the world, and made it to the final of the Australian Open.  It’s kinda refreshing that a great player can have an amateur-like moment… it made me feel better about my game.  It also goes along with one of my favorite sayings while playing sports: “It happens to the best of us”.  (And it’s ironic, because the next time I played tennis, I went for a full-power backhand winner with topspin, but the ball hit the frame instead, sending it really high in the air and sailing over the fence.)

I like how the crowd cheered when it happened.  And the camera had to zoom way out to see where the ball landed.  At least she has a good sense of humor and could joke about it afterward.

pro golfing gone wrong

I don’t know much about golf, except that you hit the ball into the hole in as few shots as possible.  I am somewhat familiar with the scoring, from video games.  I do know that taking 16 shots on a par 4 is extremely bad for a pro.  (FYI, par is what’s normal/expected.)

Last week a pro golfer named Kevin Na shot a 16 on the ninth hole in the Texas Open, for the second-worst score on a single hole in PGA Tour history.  This is what you would call a debacle.  This video is a summary of it from SportsCenter on ESPN.

Is it bad when your caddy lost count of your score?  And then during the shot summary your caddy says, “You whiffed at 8.”  I understand amateurs swinging and missing, but it’s got to be rare for pros to whiff.

If you want to see how Kevin Na dealt with it between shots, here’s the full telecast of just that one hole.

It’s funny that at 0:47 in the video he says, “What are the chances of me getting out of here?”  He’s likely talking about hitting the ball out of the extreme rough / deep woods.  You don’t want to hear that.  But in the back of his mind he might be wishing for an escape tunnel, so he can get out of there before this makes all the sports highlights for the wrong reasons.  (This did make #1 on ESPN’s “not top ten” plays for the week.)

John Daly holds the record for the highest score on a single hole at a PGA Tour event, with 18.  That was a par 5.  I heard he hit several in the water.  I wouldn’t mind seeing a video clip of that one, but a quick glance online didn’t find it.

I’ve heard there’s a 5 minute limit to find your ball or you’re penalized.  It would’ve been better for Kevin Na if he had never found his ball…

On a related note, a while back we had a caption contest about golf featuring an animal hazard by the green.

caption contest, sports fan with shirt off

Thanks to those of you who noticed the lack of a caption contest last week.  It’s nice to know I was missed.  🙂

Getting back to normal, here’s our weekly caption contest.  Since this is a big time for sports, with the MLB / baseball playoffs in full swing, the NFL underway, NCAA football going, and the NBA preseason, there’s a lot going on.  So I chose a sports-related picture for this week.  It’s an overweight sports fan with his shirt off.

It’s up to you to figure out what’s going on here.  What is he doing?  What do the people around him think?  What’s about to happen?  Why is this a bad idea?  What happened to his shirt?

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)