the special days of August, pt 3

It’s time to continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances of August:

  • 10 Lazy Day — Here’s your excuse to be lazy this day.  Put off your chores another day — they’ll still be there tomorrow.  Take time to do whatever you want to do.  (And here’s an important note: if cleaning is what you actually want to do, it doesn’t mean your spouse wants to.  Just thought I’d throw that in there, for no particular reason.)
  • 10 National S’mores Day — You don’t need a campfire to make these — a microwave will do.  And you don’t need a recipe, either — just mix graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate.  You should make a lot of them, to hone your own personal recipe and get it just right.  And you should invite me over to help you taste-test them.  🙂
  • 11 Presidential Joke Day — This is not a day to make jokes about our President.  It’s actually a day for them to make jokes.  It started on August 11, 1984, when President Ronald Reagan was about to make a speech.  He was testing the microphone, thinking it was off, and said, “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever.  The bombing begins in five minutes.”  This became quite the joke because he was speaking to a live feed!
  • 11 Play in the Sand Day — I wish I was near a beach.  There’s some sand pits in various parks nearby, but there are also cats and dogs that roam those areas, and so I’d rather not play in what may be someone’s litterbox.
  • 13 International Left-Hander’s Day — On this day, lefties have rights!  🙂  Otherwise, lefties never do anything right.  🙂
  • 13 National Filet Mignon Day — Sounds like I need to visit a steakhouse on this day!  Since it’s a holiday, this particular cut of steak should be discounted, so more people can afford them and appreciate their yummy goodness.  And the filet mignon should be bacon-wrapped.  Mmm… mmm… mmm…
  • 13 Comic Book Hero Day — Comic books should get more respect.  Many of the most popular superheroes featured in movies these days got their start in comics, and their story is still being written.  The movie version is just a brief summary of all the detail that is in the original story.  And lest you think comics are bought only by 13-year-olds, the U.S. market for comics is between $660 and $700 million.  Worldwide, comic books are perhaps the most widely read literary format.  That’s not small potatoes…  (So don’t be a “hater” or say that they’re just for “little boys”.)
  • 14 National Creamsicle Day — This sounds like a good plan, and it’s an appropriate treat considering how crazy-mad hot it typically is in the middle of August.
  • 14 Yukon Discovery Day — The name of this day reminds me of Yukon Cornelius, from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer claymation Christmas “cartoon”.  He was awesome!  He was the self-proclaimed “greatest prospector in the North”, always searching for silver and gold.
  • 15 Relaxation Day — This is different from being lazy.  Here, you’re resting and relaxing because you should.  It’s important to have down-time for your body to recover from all the stuff you do.  So relax, sit down a spell, and drink some tea.
  • 16 National Tell a Joke Day — I’ve thought about becoming a stand-up comedian.  It started when I was a kid, and I told my parents I wanted to be a comedian, and they just laughed at me.
  • 16 International Homeless Animals Day — Did you know most animals are homeless?  Well, not really, because they find or create homes, but I mean that most animals don’t live with humans.  Besides, animals are naturally homeless.
  • 16 Roller Coaster Day — On this day in 1898, the roller coaster was patented.  The popularity of roller coasters has been going up and down since.
  • 18 Bad Poetry Day — At first glance, this kind of holiday seems obscure and useless, but I know of a few people (who happen to be regular readers here) who seem to enjoy writing bad poetry.  (That is, “bad” meaning poorly composed and consisting of mostly bad puns.)
  • 19 National Potato Day — Some also call this French Fry Appreciation Day.  Either way, it’s good stuff.  Did you know that potatoes are actually vegetables?  So I can’t say I dislike all vegetables.  Taters are good in just about all forms: baked, mashed, smashed, and fried.  (My brother used to say, “Everybody loves soft-fried taters.”)  Just don’t make potato salad, which isn’t a food.

Once again, this list is getting long, so I’ll finish the rest of the month in the next post.  Click here to find the other entries in this list.

the special days of August, pt 2

Now we’ll look at the daily holidays / celebrations / observations in August:

  • 1 National Raspberry Cream Pie Day — I’m not sure I’ve ever had one of these, but it sounds good.
  • 1 Respect for Parents’ Day — This should be every day.  I know, that saying may not be popular, but it is one of the Ten Commandments, so it should be taken seriously.
  • 2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day — This is a wonderful holiday!  Ice cream sandwiches are scrumptious!  I could eat these all the time…
  • 2 National Mustard Day — Ugh!  I can’t stand mustard!  Even the smell is repulsive!  Why is this a holiday?  There isn’t a good use for mustard.  All sandwiches and burgers should use Miracle Whip, never mustard.
  • 3 Friendship Day — Be thankful for your close friends.  They’re the ones who know just how weird and/or stupid you are sometimes, yet they like you anyway.  🙂
  • 3 International Forgiveness Day (the first Sunday in August) — Hmm…  Watch your step now, because even though this is a humor blog, I need to say something serious here.  And you should really watch your toes on this one.  If you don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive you.  So know that it’s VERY important that you forgive everyone, whether they deserve it or not.  (See Matthew 6:14-15)
  • 3 National Watermelon Day — Watermelon, it’s a good fruit.  You eat, you drink, you wash your face.
  • 4 National Chocolate Chip Day — This is a great idea for a holiday!  I shall celebrate with freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies!  Mmm…
  • 5 Work Like a Dog Day — I don’t currently own a dog, but I have in the past.  Looking back, they slept a lot, and chased stuff when they weren’t sleeping.  I can work that hard this day…
  • 6 Wiggle Your Toes Day — Why is there a day for this?  I don’t get it…
  • 7 Sea Serpent Day — This must be for Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster.  So many people have seen him/her/it, yet there is still no definitive proof.  But in one of our infamous “free-for-all” stories, three explorers tackled the mystery of Nessie, and you can read it here.  It’s a funny story, and you learn what Nessie is guarding in the loch.  I guarantee you haven’t read a story quite like this one before.
  • 7 Write a Song Day — Someone should write a song about how Buffet o’ Blog is the #1 humor blog on the Internet.  If you do, I’ll even promote it here for free.  🙂
  • 8 Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day — Uhh… Now that is random!  Although, if you read the explanation for it, it actually makes sense.  But sometimes it’s better for things to be random than logical.  It’s like explaining a joke — it usually ceases to be funny if you have to explain it.
  • 8 National Waffle Day — I can support this holiday.  Give me plenty of syrup (like Aunt Jemima) and I’m good to go.  While we’re talking about waffles, let me ask you this: are waffles better than pancakes?  Well, look at it this way: waffles are like pancakes with built-in syrup holders.
  • 9 Book Lover’s Day — I don’t know what is implied by “book lover”, but I enjoy reading books.  You should, too.  Consider books in this context: books are universities anyone can enter.
  • 9 International Day of the World’s Indigenous People — I’m an indigenous people!  I’m naturally occurring and living in this area of the world.  I’ve lived in Arkansas my whole life.  Well, actually I haven’t yet… but so far I have.  🙂

We have a lot more holidays to cover for this month, but because this is getting long and because some of my regular readers have pointed out how long each of these tend to be, I’m breaking it up into smaller servings, for your reading consumption convenience.

Click here to find the other entries in this list.

the special days of August, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in August:

  • Family Fun Month — A good family outing is a vacation, but if that’s not feasible at this time, try playing the Nintendo Wii.  🙂  This is not a joke — everyone who has tried it has enjoyed it, no matter their age or prior video game experience.
  • Admit You’re Happy Month — Go on, admit it!  Although if you really aren’t happy, you should acknowledge that, and then do something about it.  And fortunately, you’re at the right place.  My personal research has shown that reading this blog will make you happier.
  • National Catfish Month — Mmm… fried catfish…
  • National Golf Month — The sport of golf requires skill and discipline, sure, but it’s boring to many people (myself included).  That’s why I wrote a post about making golf less boring.
  • Peach Month — The best way to enjoy peaches is in cobbler, with vanilla ice cream.  Mmm…
  • Romance Awareness Month — I’m aware of romance.  So I’ve got this holiday covered already.
  • Water Quality Month — This is the month when local water municipalities strive to provide quality water.  Oh, wait, I hope they do that every month.  So what is this observance for?
  • National Picnic Month — Picnics can be a good time.  They make a good diversion from work if you take one during lunch. Just make sure the weather cooperates.  Ironically, this emphasis on picnics is in August, which is typically the hottest month of the year.  That should not be.
  • National Inventors Month — I’ve invented something before, so this is about me.  🙂
  • American Artist Appreciation Month — I’m an artist!  For real, check it out!
  • Foot Health Month — If your feet aren’t healthy, you should stay off them more (i.e., stay in bed more, sit on the couch to watch TV and/or play video games more).
  • Home Business Month — I have a home business.  I wish this meant I would automatically make more money this month.

Now let’s look at the weekly events / celebrations / holidays in August:

  • Week 1 : National Simplify your Life Week — This is actually a good idea.  Slow down, relax, focus on your top priorities, and laugh more.
  • Week 2 : National Smile Week — Smile!  You’re on Candid Cookie!  🙂  Really, studies show that smiling and laughing are good for you, and can even add years to your life.  (And of course, I have to plug my blog here, as its purpose is to make people happier.)
  • Week 3 : Friendship Week — For this week only, I’ll be your friend.  Let’s do lunch.  Have your people contact my people…
  • Week 3 : Air Conditioning Appreciation Week — This holiday is appropriately placed in August.  I’m very appreciative of my air-conditioner!  But, on the other hand, I just wrote an article on my other blog explaining why you don’t need air-conditioning.  It’s true!  Read it if you don’t believe me.
  • Week 3 : American Dance Week — All you party people out there, GET YOUR GROOVE ON!
  • Week 4 : Be Kind to Humankind Week — This is a good idea.  We are all brothers and sisters, after all.  (Well, I’m assuming all my readers are human.  If you are a non-human species and can read this, please let me know via our contact form.)

This is getting quite long (as it usually does), so I’m going to break it up into several parts.   Click here to search for the other entries for August.

the special days of July, pt 2

Now we will continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances / celebrations of July.

  • 4 Independence Day — The Fourth of July, the day we celebrate the independence of the United States of America.  This is truly a great country to live in! And to celebrate, we get a day off work, and we grill burgers and hot dogs, and shoot / watch fireworks.  That’s fitting, I think, because the celebration of a great nation should be a great time, and this is one of the best holidays.
  • 4 National Country Music Day — YEE-HAW!  Just kidding.  I don’t have much to say about this, except for a quote about country music by Bob Newhart: I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do.  And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down”.
  • 4 Sidewalk Egg Frying Day — I’ve got better things to do on July 4th than this.  But here in the South, it’s usually hot enough at this time to do that.
  • 5 Work-a-holics Day — Why would this be after a nationally recognized holiday?  Besides, I reckon a lot of people are taking this day off to create a longer weekend.  Also, there shouldn’t even be a day for this.
  • 6 National Fried Chicken Day — This is a good holiday!  I’m all about some fried yardbird.  And do you know what goes great with it?  Mashed taters, biscuits and gravy, and sweet tea.  You just can’t top that.
  • 6 Build A Scarecrow Day — This “holiday” is always first Sunday in July.  I’m fairly certain I’ll pass on this day, because I don’t have a garden, nor do I have any desire in building a scarecrow.  So why am I even mentioning this day?  So I can include this picture.  🙂
  • 7 Macaroni Day — Who doesn’t like macaroni & cheese?  It’s not just for kids.  Even as an adult, I can still make a meal out of just chicken strips and macaroni & cheese.  Mmm…
  • 7 Chocolate Day — There are just so many options for this day!  Chocolate comes in many forms, and they’re almost all good.  So just let your imagination (and appetite) run wild on this day.  Remember that diets don’t apply on holidays!
  • 7 National Strawberry Sundae Day — I’m all about the food holidays, and I’m not complaining about this particular one at all, but why are there three food holidays on the same day?  I think these should be spread out a little more.
  • 8 Video Games Day — Here is proof that it’s an official holiday!  I think all gamers should take this day off work to play video games all day.  Since this is a day to celebrate video games, we should take note of the benefits they provide to society: improved hand-eye coordination, improved reflexes, exercising your brain (much more than just watching TV, for sure), an escape from the stress of reality, and a lot of fun.  Now go rescue Princess Peach from Bowser, or save the world, or conquer the world, or whatever game it is you like to play.  If you don’t have a game, try this tower defense game — it’s easy and fun yet requires strategy to master.
  • 9 National Sugar Cookie Day — I remember being dared in Kindergarten to eat a sugar cookie with mustard on it.  It totally ruined the cookie, because mustard is horrible tasting (not to mention evil).  Fortunately I made a full recovery from that potentially tragic moment in my early years.
  • 10 Don’t Step on a Bee Day — Is this really a holiday?  What makes this special?  I don’t ever step on bees.  I find it’s generally best to leave stinging insects alone (unless they’re trespassing and you kill them).
  • 10 Teddy Bear Picnic Day — The name says it all, but I checked online just to confirm that this is actually listed as a holiday.  It is.  Check out what one site said about it: “Spend the lunch hour on a blanket under a shade tree with your Teddy Bear.”  I will have to pass on this one…  I have been informed that there is a song that kinda goes along with this: “This is the day the teddy bears have their picnic.”
  • 11 Swimming Pool Day — This would be great, if I had a swimming pool.
  • 11 Cheer up the Lonely Day — If you know someone who is lonely, then you should cheer them up, regardless of whether it’s this day or not.  People need to be happy and to laugh more.  If you can’t be there enough, print out this blog and take it to them.  🙂
  • 11 World Population Day — I reckon this holiday includes everyone in the world, regardless of your ethnic, religious, social, or financial background.  So this should be World Partying Day, where everyone in the world gets off work.  Sounds good to me!
  • 11 Cow Appreciation Day — Some lists have this day on the 15th, but Chick-fil-A is putting it on the 11th, so I’ll include it on both.  Chick-fil-A is offering free food if you dress up like a cow and visit a participating store.  For those of you without a cow costume, they have a few ideas on their website for how you can make do with what you already have.
  • 12 Pecan Pie Day — It seems like this should be in the fall, when you’re more likely to see pecan pies.  But I won’t gripe.  I could eat one any time.
  • 12 Paper Bag Day — Seriously, who approves these holidays?  Is this official?  It’s this day because this is when the paper bag manufacturing machine was patented.  But really, who cares?
  • 13 Barn Day — So if you have a barn, are you supposed to throw a party?  Who comes up with this stuff?
  • 13 Go West Day — Go West, young man!  This meant a lot more when the Old West in the U.S. was mostly undiscovered and unclaimed, and people would go in search of gold.  (There’s gold in them there hills!)
  • 13 National French Fries Day — Finally, a holiday I can support.  That is, the fries part.  I refuse to celebrate the French, given what they stand for (or don’t stand for) these days.  But fries are good.
  • 13 Barbershop Music Appreciation Day — How many of you out there have even heard of Barbershop Music, as in a quartet singing in that style (usually a cappella)?  I had a college roommate who sang in one of those groups, and so I’ve heard a number of CDs in that genre.  Check some out online.  Go ahead, broaden your mind.
  • 13 Embrace Your Geekness Day — I reckon this means I should go hang out in Best Buy for a few hours, then go to a video game arcade-type place.  🙂  Really, though, folks should be themselves every day — that’s the epitome of being cool.
  • 13 Fool’s Paradise Day — Ah, a philosophical dilemma!  If fools are there, is it really paradise?
  • 13 International Puzzle Day — I asked a friend about what to put here, and he suggested this day be devoted to solving the world’s most puzzling issues, like how to understand women.  I’m thinking more than a day should be allocated for that challenge.

This is getting long, so I’m gonna split it up again.   Click here to search for the other entries for July.