crazy spam

We get a lot of dumb/crazy spam here, and fortunately the spam filter catches most of it.  Occasionally it’ll catch a real comment, so I glance at it once in a while.  Recently I saw a few comments that weren’t full of links, so I checked to see if they might be valid comments, and I was surprised by what I found.  Here’s two of them.

What i don’t realize is actually how you are no longer really a lot more well-preferred than you may be right now. You’re so intelligent.

I’m not really sure what they’re saying in the first sentence.  And it’s really odd that their first sentence is so convoluted when their second sentence is so direct and to-the-point (and true).

Attractive portion of content. I merely stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will probably be subscribing to your augment and even I success you get admission to constantly rapidly.

I really have no idea what’s going on there.  That sounds like it was run through one of those translators that converts it to German, then to French, back to German, and back to English, which mangles it in an incomprehensible way.  🙂  There was one of those linked to in an earlier post, but unfortunate the link no longer works.  However, I still recommend reading the comments on the “that’s French for German” post — they are quite random and funny.  (Yeah, I’m promoting old blog content, but it was 6 years ago, and there wasn’t nearly the daily traffic then as there is now, so some of you probably missed it.  It’s also a good example of how comments can enliven a discussion.)

colon cleansing spam

I got a spam e-mail from ColonCleanser, with the subject line of “Complimentary Colon Cleanse”.  I don’t open spam e-mails, but if I were to, I would reply and tell them that my body has a natural colon cleansing mechanism built-in.  You know what I’m sayin’?

If you happen to be having some problems, I can send you the recipe for my infamous chili-cheese dip.  It’ll keep you regular…  🙂

Speaking of colon cleansing and all that mess, that reminds me of the classic table scene from the movie The Nutty Professor (the one with Eddie Murphy).  Quote: “You want yo’ colon cleansed?!?  Fine!  I’m gonna clean mine!  PHVRRRT!  There, now my colon is clean, I’m talkin’ squeaky clean!”  And that led to one of the greatest lines ever: “PHVRRRT!”  “Who dat call my name?”  “Yeah, I called ya if ya name is PHVRRRT!”

your secrets revealed to all

I got a spam e-mail that appeared to be from me — not my alias, but my e-mail address.  The subject line said, “Your secrets revealed to all”.  Is that supposed to fool me into thinking I should open it?  I know for certain that I didn’t send that e-mail to myself.  So what is their purpose?  How is that supposed to work?

extending my truck’s factory warranty

I got a card in the mail recently which caught my attention.   I get plenty of junk mail and spam-type offers, and this fits in with that, but it was unusual, partly because of my particular circumstances.  The front of the card said:

Factory Warranty Expiration

This card came from a company called “Dealers Warranty”, which sounds like a very generic name.

The back of the card said, “This is to inform you that this is your FINAL NOTICE to extend the warranty coverage on your vehicle.”

How considerate of them!  I thought about calling them to let them know that my truck is 22 years old, and the factory warranty expired a long, LONG time ago.  But they wanted my exact mileage and VIN#, which I decided I’d rather not share with what appears to be a shady organization.  Do they just send these things out to everybody?  How’d they get my name?  I’ve never even bought a new vehicle!  This definitely sounds like a scam…

I even had a “Customer ID” on the card, which seems quite odd…