it’s now winter, they say

As you might’ve heard, winter officially started today, December 21, at 6:04 AM CST.  But I have a problem with this.   See, we had lots of ice here a few days ago, which is most definitely winter weather.  But according to some official consensus, we were getting ice and snow in the fall.  And this is in Arkansas, where we rarely get ice and snow.   Some places in the country have had feet of snow already!

So obviously the system is broken.   And I’m not afraid to challenge the status quo.  We need to devise a new system for determining the seasons.  Now before some sticklers for traditions get crazy over my ideas, I know why the current system is setup.   It’s based on the winter solstice, which is the shortest day of the year.  And I could use more terms like equinoxes and diurnal movements and such, but all that isn’t necessary at this time.  Because whatever it’s based on now, it doesn’t work.

I propose we use a system based on the actual weather.   That just makes a lot more sense.  (Maybe too much…)  I know, it would vary depending on where you are, but that’s fine.  Once it starts snowing, then it’s winter.  When snows have ended and the average high temperature is in the 50s or 60s, then spring is starting.  When the average high temperature starts exceeding 90 degrees, it’s summer.   And so forth.  And note that I’m basing these numbers on Arkansas.  Your results may vary.

Is this too much to ask?  Or can someone suggest a viable reason for keeping it the way it is?

caption contest, Santa and Stormtroopers

It’s a Monday, and it’s December now, so how about a Christmas-themed caption contest?  It sounds like a plan to me.   It works like always (if you aren’t familiar with them, I’ll explain).   I’ll post a picture, and you write a caption to go with it.   The caption can be dialogue from the people in the picture or analysis or commentary or just something funny to go with it.   Since a picture is worth a thousand words, there’s a lot of potential.  🙂

For this week’s picture, here’s Santa Claus being escorted down an escalator by Imperial Stormtroopers.  I have no idea what’s going on there, so perhaps we can figure something out.

santa-imperial-troopers

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

I don’t own a bed

I’ve been married a few years now, so I’ve learned a few things about relationships.  And I’ve learned that women sometimes see things differently than men do.

Just recently I learned that we do not have a bed in our bedroom.  This was quite the surprise for me, because I always thought we were sleeping in a bed.  I mean, it’s a bed frame with a couple of mattresses, along with pillows, sheets, and blankets.  To me, that’s a bed.  But apparently it’s not a bed.  I’m not sure what it is, then.  Can anyone explain this?

I did find out why it’s not a bed, though — it doesn’t have the decorative headboard and footboard on it.  Supposedly that makes it a bed.  Uhh, yeah…  So I’m still not sure what we have, but I’m going to call it a bed anyway…

quotes about birthdays

The founder of Buffet o’ Blog had a birthday this week, so I figured it would be a good time to write a post containing quotes about birthdays.  There’s a few original ones in here that you’ve never seen or heard before (which means this is the first time ever they’ve been published).  This first quote is one of my favorites, now that I’ve passed 30 and some of my friends like to call me old…  🙂

Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Men should always remember their woman’s birthday but never her age.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

Now there’s a new organization of ladies who say that they want to pay their own way on dates; who say that they don’t expect expensive gifts on their birthdays; and they say that they don’t want men to give them their seats on the bus.  The group’s called “Women’s Fib.”

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.  I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. ~ Steven Wright

There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~ John Glenn, on retiring at 75

For my birthday, all I want is more time and more sleep and the death of all alarm clocks. Is that too much to ask? 🙂 ~ Karen S., 11/12/01

Today, when I throw away a musical birthday card, I am tossing out more computer power than existed in the entire world in 1948.

You could stop in long enough to bring a gift.  I like size large boxers*, chocolates, Crest White strips (skrips), Joop cologne, cash in varying denominations, tv dinners, tube sox, Brill Cream, chocolate pies and yard rakes.  I EZ to pleez.  *(no use one!) ~ PB, about his birthday dinner at “West Sizz”, 11/25/02

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday.  That time is age eleven.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, that would make today your birthday.  Happy birthday.

Today I turned 24.  I’m assuming it’s not much different than 23.  Anyways, I just miss the birthday parties at McDonalds and Chucky-Cheese’s.  The good ole days… where Nintendo ruled supreme and Super Mario Bros was a way of life. ~ DaVinci, from Digifreq.com

I’ve had a lot of birthdays — well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. ~ Celia, from Monsters, Inc.

I’m now 25.  I’m legal to do everything now.  I feel so relieved.  I can now rent a car without paying an under-age penalty.  However, before 25, I could buy a house, buy a car, get married, have a child, etc, etc, but I couldn’t rent a car without paying an extra age fee.  I think it’s hilarious.  So what did we do on my birthday?  We went to Wal-Mart. ~ Chris Davis, 1/19/06

Happy birthday!  May you not feel as old as you look. ~ Thomas Wayne, 2/25/06

I think we should “celebrate” someone’s birthday by covering their cube in cheese dip. ~ Mango-Man, 6/15/06

In dog-years you’d be dead. ~ Nelson B., about my birthday, 10/31/06

Can you feel the love in that last one?  Me, neither.  But at least the dis’ was creative.

BTW, I realize that getting older is not so big a deal once you get out of your teens, and you may not even care to think about your age (and you’d probably rather your friends would forget about it), but your birthday is nonetheless a great excuse to go eat a lot of pizza or nachos or whatever you want.  I’m thinking Larry’s Pizza is a great place to go for this, with their endless buffet of pizza — and not just one-topping pizzas, but lots of specialty pizzas.  And they even bring the food to your table.  Mmm…  You just can’t go wrong with that…