buying all the most expensive cheese

Novak Djokovic meme - donkey cheeseThe world’s #1 ranked tennis player, Novak Djokovic, has bought the world’s entire supply of donkey cheese.  It’s the world’s most expensive cheese, and it’s called pule.  It’s made in one farm in the world, and it takes 25 liters of donkey milk to make 1 kilogram of pule.  It sometimes sells for over $500 per pound.  It supposedly has 60 times more Vitamin C than cheese from cow’s milk.

Djokovic is opening a chain of restaurants which will feature this cheese, so he bought the upcoming year’s supply of it for his own use.  Supposedly this cost him millions of dollars, but he can afford it.  He’s been a top 3 tennis player in the world for several years now, and last year he made $19.8 million.

The Buffet o’ Blog staff has talked about opening our own restaurant, but we’ve never considered cornering the market on a single ingredient.  There’s an obvious reason for that — it takes beaucoups of money.  Instead, we’ll just have to create the most awesome restaurant, which I’m confident we could do, given a reasonable amount of investment.  Somebody out there has more money than ideas, and we’re still waiting for their people to contact our people.  If you know one of these people, give ’em a swift kick or light a fire under ’em (not literally), to push them in the right direction.  I know there’s already some great restaurants, but it’s clear that many places just don’t get it.  For example, I know of restaurants that don’t use any bacon… for anything.  Obviously, you don’t have to, but given the fact that bacon makes almost any dish considerably better, why would you not have bacon in your restaurant?  These things seem like common sense to us, but as the saying goes, common sense isn’t.

how to prevent hurricanes

If you know much about weather, you know that mankind does not possess the ability to stop a hurricane.  Hurricanes are kinda like a migraine headache in that regard — unstoppable once it gets going.  In fact, a migraine feels kinda like a hurricane in your head.  Or a tornado.  But I digress.

Anyway, we cannot stop a hurricane once it gets started.  I’ve heard that Hurricane Katrina contained the energy equivalent of 150,000 atomic bombs, and released enough of that energy to power the United States for a year.  Amazing!   If only we could capture a fraction of that power.  But that’s another discussion.  (I almost digressed again…)

satellite photo of Hurricane Jeanne from 2004So obviously the key to stopping a hurricane is to prevent it from forming.  That may sound impossible, and it almost is, but I learned from The Discovery Channel where hurricanes (affecting the U.S.) come from.  The whole process starts from hot, dry air from the Sahara Desert.  Pockets of that hot, dry air get released over the ocean about every three days, and then convection and evaporation and condensation and stuff take place, and hurricanes are formed.  So one possible solution would be to destroy the Sahara Desert.   I know, that sounds crazy, but think about it — the climate of the Sahara is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.  So who would it inconvenience?  It would save a lot of money when we don’t have destructive hurricanes!

I can see some people opposing that plan.  Fortunately there’s another potential way to stop hurricanes.  During the convection process, clouds form and begin to rotate because of the rotation of the Earth.  So obviously if we stopped the Earth’s rotation, that would prevent hurricanes from forming.  However, this plan would have some major side-effects, like perhaps altering gravity, and we might lose the Moon.  I’m sure some other bad things would happen too, so I can see this idea being vetoed.

Perhaps instead of destroying the Sahara Desert, we should just cover it with solar panels to capture the heat.  And since the Sahara Desert is one of the hottest places in the world, this could also reduce global warming, and it would be a clean, green, unlimited, renewable energy solution.  Sounds perfect, right?  That could be quite expensive, which is probably why it hasn’t been done.  But it would produce untold amounts of clean energy, which everyone wants these days.  Since a large up-front investment is needed, you can start sending in donations, and I’ll do this whenever I get enough money, and it’ll be a win-win for everyone.  You can give using various denominations of cash, check, credit card, and bacon.

buying a car as an investment

With today’s financial climate — that is, the economic crisis and the crashing of the Dow Jones Industrial Average — buying a car is now a good investment: you still lose 40% of the value when you drive it off the lot, but that’s better than most mutual funds these days…