the most fattening meal ever

Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we’ve had a number of Buffet o’ Bacon nights, where we create original bacon dishes.  These have been wildly popular, and many people have desired to participate.  (We have talked of having one open to the public, so hang in there.)   (FYI, if you aren’t familiar with these outings, they are all documented on this blog.  The search box is at the top right of the sidebar.)

Our bacon creations have been great for the most part, although there was the gut-bomb incident…   Since then, we have decided to draw the line on some things.  Call that philosophy what you will, but we don’t want to die today.  If someone wanted to reject all sense of healthiness and longevity of life, it’s not that hard to do — just add bacon to everything and let the bacon grease cook into all the other ingredients.   Of course, people have done this.  We have written on the bacon explosion before, which is over-the-top in how fattening it is (and probably in how good it would taste).   But some people have to keep taking things farther.

The following video is by a group called Epic Meal Time, and they do create epic meals (as well as slick video productions).  Just so you know what you’re getting into, the TurBaconEpic they invented uses 10 packages of bacon and six (6) pounds of butter, as well as a whole pig.  They keep a running total on calories and fat grams, and it will blow your mind.  This is the most fattening meal I have ever heard of.  All in all, their meal had 79,046 calories and 6,892g of fat.   Just try to consider that in context with your daily recommended allowance…

All that said, here’s the video.  Are you ready?

I wish they would keep their episodes free from crude language.  So watch more of their episodes at your own risk.

I’m including this post in the Food Critic series.  It’s not a picture, but you can comment on the food creation from the video.

Buffet o’ Bacon 3

Last night I had the Buffet o’ Blog staff over for a regular team outing (where we played video games and discussed funny stuff — how meetings should go!).  As has happened before, this meeting turned into a Buffet o’ Bacon.  It was kinda like an Iron Chef episode, where 3 contestants brought an original dish based around bacon.  (At these impromptu cooking sessions, the theme is always bacon.  Not that I’m complaining!)

First on the menu was bacon-wrapped smokies covered with barbecue sauce and grilled, and served on a stick.

smokies, bacon, & BBQ, on a stick

That one used turkey bacon, which works better for grilling and is a lot healthier.  The taste was really good.  You just have to make sure the bacon is cooked to the point of getting slightly crispy, or it’ll be easier to notice it’s turkey bacon.

The second item we sampled was bacon-wrapped cream-cheese-filled jalapenos.   We removed the seeds so they wouldn’t be too spicy (for some).  These were also delicious, although I’d like to experiment with different types of cheese.  Cooking them on a rack is essential (as I will explain in further detail on the next item).  They were also served on a stick (well, a toothpick).

bacon-wrapped cheese-filled jalapenos

Third on our list was the most ambitious creation, and the one that slightly concerned me.  It consisted of club crackers topped with shredded cheese, then bacon-wrapped and cooked for two hours at 250 degrees.  Here’s a picture of them during preparation.

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese, in preparation

Notice there was no rack used to elevate the food above the inevitable bacon grease.  Supposedly it wasn’t necessary according to the recipe, that the crackers wouldn’t absorb all the grease.  I was concerned because we’ve been down this road before.  /* flashback */ At the initial Buffet o’ Bacon, there were some bacon-wrapped croissants, and the bread absorbed almost all the bacon grease during cooking.  The consistency of the croissants was like butter at room temperature, and it was deemed the “gut-bomb”.  (Read the second comment on our initial Buffet o’ Bacon for an explanation.)  /* end flashback */ So how did it turn out?  Let’s have a look:

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese

What’s missing from this picture is the grease that was drained before I got in there with the camera.  Supposedly there was a pool of grease.  And if it isn’t evident in the picture, the crackers were saturated with grease, along with the cheese, and the bacon was quite greasy also.  Someone looked at the recipe to see where they went wrong, and they noticed the last line of the recipe said to cook it on a rack over a pan.  Obviously that line was never read, and the excuse was used that the picture included with the recipe didn’t have a rack in it.

We each tried a couple of them, and you could tell there was a lot of potential there, if not for the extreme load of grease.  The rest were discarded, for the sake of healthiness.   Hopefully a lesson was learned from this, because it’s really sad to throw away bacon and cheese.  (Should we have a moment of silence?)

If you want to read about our previous bacon research sessions, the link to part one is above, and here’s part two.  There are other food-related experiments and discussions — too many to list — but you can search for them if you want.

For those of you who live nearby and would like to participate in one of these in the future, there has been talk of hosting one on a Saturday afternoon and making a party out of it.  Stay tuned to this blog for further details.

the Bacon Explosion — I must try this!

Speaking of bacon weaves, I recently heard about a dish called the Bacon Explosion.   It uses two pounds of bacon and two pounds of sausage, plus barbecue seasonings.  Some have called it a monster of meat.  I’m not scared of it, although the after-effects might be strong (more on that later).  This food item is football-sized, and it contains at least 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat.  Needless to say, you shouldn’t eat it all in one sitting.  (Although Michael Phelps could consume two of these in one day on his extreme workout diet!  But imagine the effect it would have on his swimming…)

At the BBQ Addicts site, there is a full recipe with pictures.  Here’s a quick summary.  Create a 5×5 bacon weave; coat it with a barbecue pork rub; spread out two pounds of sausage; cover with crumbled up bacon that’s already cooked; cover with barbecue sauce; roll up; add more barbecue seasoning; then slow-cook in a smoker with hickory smoke; after cooking, cover with more BBQ sauce.   (That site used Italian sausage, but I would prefer pork sausage / breakfast sausage, which others have used.)

Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we’ve had our own Buffet o’ Bacon a few months ago, which was awesome.  Well, one experimental item created what we called a “gut-bomb”, which I suspect would happen with this Bacon Explosion dish.  See, the problem arises when the bacon grease isn’t able to escape.  But with the Bacon Explosion, not only would you have trapped bacon grease, but also trapped sausage grease.   So it might be doubly as potent.  Nonetheless, I would like to try it someday.  (Guys, I think this calls for a Buffet o’ Bacon 2!  Although everyone might be required to sign a release form stating we’re not liable for the after-effects!)

You can read more about the dish here.  One excerpt I want to highlight from that article is this review:

After preparing a version of the dish, Andrew Vennari of the San Francisco Food Examiner said the dish tasted better than expected, “but I didn’t learn the true meaning of the bacon explosion until the next day.”

That’s what is meant by the term “gut-bomb”.  (FYI, if you eat this, you might want to equip your bathroom with a fan and some magazines.  I’m just sayin’…)

When we perform our research* on this, you’ll get a full review.

* num num num num

I’ve been thinking about what we could serve with it, besides plenty of sweet tea.   I know, it might seem like culinary perfection already, but I don’t think our bodies are accustomed to such awesomeness anymore.  Our modern diet just doesn’t prepare the body for that.  All the “health foods” we eat now have weakened our digestive system, which can make dishes like the Bacon Explosion dangerous, because we aren’t used to such awesomeness.

Anyway, back to side-item ideas.  Perhaps some bread (biscuits or rolls), and maybe some cheese dip to dip it in.  🙂  Actually, I’m thinking of adding some cheese before and after cooking.   Surely it would be better with cheese!  (Just be prepared for the “sudden dramatic weight loss” mentioned in the infamous bacon and cheese diet!)

In closing, I realize some health experts or registered dieticians might be frowning upon this discussion.  I’ll let them take that up with the “Important Doctor”, one of the regular readers here.  But I will add this nugget of wisdom for you to contemplate:

Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed — without French-fried onion rings, pizza with double cheese, chocolate?  (Remember, living right doesn’t really make you live longer, it just seems like longer.)

All that said, who wants to join me in a taste-testing session of the Bacon Explosion with cheese dip?   🙂